by angeljack
This was a lot better than I was expecting it to be. Don't get me wrong, but the category isn't one I read very often. There were a few punctuation errors, but not so many as to distract from the story. Good tip--if you haven't got an editor on tap, a good way of finding errors that you might otherwise miss is to change the font of the document, better yet, increase the size and change the font. Sometimes that helps to highlight missing punctuation so that you can fix your piece before hitting 'submit'. But you've got my interest, that's for sure. Nicely done.
Good build up for later chapters and will make the sex scenes that much more interesting. Good plot so far. Sex in the next one though pls.
Screw the sex! Pun intended! You are an awesome writer and I am enjoying your story immensely!