by Macthegreat05
"Even before I noticed my now-BF,"
Don't use text-speak in prose. Write out the words - "boyfriend."
"Yes, being 25 years old " - "Twenty-five" All numbers under 100 must be written out.
"Passports and Visas. " "Software Programmer."These are not proper or place names. No capital letters.
" When he said, he wanted to break up, I just lost it." No commas.
Too many mistakes to list.
Thanks for pointing out the mistakes. This is my first story so missed out a few things. Regarding the abbreviations - I am not using text speak. I just write the way the character's thoughts. At times she thinks of him as BF, at times as boyfriend.
Anyway, I I will make the correction and re submit. I hope you like the story though.
In non consent, most people write about kidnapping - by a burglar, or a neighbor or some random stranger. You dared to take up the girlfriend and boyfriend scenario. Hats off for that.
Most people will cringe at the idea of someone she loves doing all this to her. But it is plausible and you have done an excellent job at aligning the reader's feelings with hers.
I am from India too. The context makes this easier to imagine. Thank you for writing this. Good luck.