All Comments on 'The Wrong Side'

The only thing that would have made this story better, would be if it was longer. Thanks!

Wow! Incredible story.....I agree with the other comment about wishing it was longer.

The only way this could have been better would be sending Henry back to finish high school after he got the insurance settlement and somehow getting him into Stanford, too! After all, we already know he's smart enough to do the work, even though he was pretty stupid about blowing off Kelly time after time.... ;-)

A great story, thanks for sharing.

I really like your disclaimer. You're basically admitting God didn't write the story. I can live with that.

Sorry but no F'in way. This story should have started with "once upon a time", like all fairy tales.

You should have dealt with her dad. He was really against this. You really need to show what happened there to have a complete story. I really appreciate the look into the future, but ideally that should have been another long chapter 2. Of course, that could just be my greed. I really liked these characters! (Wow, I used "really" a lot)

"Kelly glanced at her watch and suddenly realized an hour had passed" - I'm sorry, you don't just lose track of your date for an HOUR!

I thought Abby was going to tell Kelly why she wanted to meet her?

She chased him, even though HE told her they were from two different worlds, then as soon as things got hard, she abandoned him.

She KNOWS her friends don't like Henry, yet she believes them over Henry? Yes, Henry has a temper, but only when provoked, like with his father.

"Someone just told me what really happened that night. I'm so sorry I didn't believe you." - That's the whole point - she didn't believe HIM! I know this is Romance, so there will probably be a happy ending, but she's still a spoiled little rich girl who frankly doesn't deserve Henry! She should just marry her USC boyfriend as they cheat on each other!

I realize it's needed for the drama, but that Prom rule is stupid! There have to be many students with girl/boyfriends who don't go to the school. What about her old boyfriend? If she was still seeing him, would they allow him to go?

The very act that going with Andrew was platonic and innocent is why she should have made it a point to tell Henry! He would surely understand. Now, when he finds out that she effectively lied to him, there;s going to be trouble!

"I was just so busy that it slipped my mind." - A little inconsistent here. Earlier she didn't even think of it at all. As he said, she should have made it a point to call her BOYFRIEND that she did have a "date" for the Prom. He should tell her that this is two strikes, and three strikes, you're out!

He's right! What's that saying?If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.

I don't really see the big difference if they're still together or not. If she DOES meet some guy, being with Henry may make her a little more resistant, but if she wants it, she's going to go for it, and all that being with Henry will do is make her feel guilty about it.

"Please don't ever leave me again." - Um, HE'S the one that keeps leaving HER!

Why would the farm's insurance pay out? They had an improper hook-up that probably would have voided their coverage.

I agree with Storm113, that there should have been SOMETHING about how her father came around. Even here, there really wasn't much about how her mother came around, but it at least seemed that she was a kind person, while the father was a definite snob who was over-joyed at their break-up after the party.

Ignore the one who left the last comment.....it is one of the living wives trolls.

Everything has to be perfect for them and just the way they like it.

This was a fine story and gets 5* from me

Would love to have gotten a glimpse of their honeymoon. I bet it was explosive.

Also, did Henry every finish school?

I'm sorry that you consider honest, respectful criticism "trolling."

I happened to enjoy this story very much, I'm a BigGuy33 fan and gave it a four.

I'll be the first to admit that some/many of my criticisms can be considered nitpicks, it's a character flaw of mine!

I'm relatively new to Romance, though I DO have a couple of stories here, so I may be over-generalizing, but it seems like Romance means "happy ever after." In my mind a story can be a romance even with a sad ending.

BTW, if you're wondering why not a five? As a frequent reader of "the other site" with their 10-point scale, I equate a 5 to their 10, describes as "Most Amazing Story." As you might expect, "most amazing stories" are few and far between.

All's well that ends well. Nothing wrong with that, I guess. You didn't draw the characters with much physical detail, yet I could still imagine, albeit nebulously, what they looked like.

People from different socio-economic classes do fall in love and marry, though what you painted here is a bit over the top. Possible? Yes, Likely? No. Stanford girls from money don't normally date, much less marry working-class boys from the other side of the tracks. They might corral one as a form of rebellion, but then drop him when they get more serious about life and how they'd like to live it.

All that aside, I enjoyed the read.

BUT the girl in this story was dumber than a mud pie...

I have a partial disagreement with you regarding physical descriptions.

I personally don't care for it when stories give height, weight, etc. when it has no bearing on the story.

Where I agree with you, at least somewhat, is Henry. To inspire the fear in three street toughs, and take down three(?) guys at the party, he must be a pretty big guy. You don't do that just by being a tough guy, it takes physical strength, also, so some description of his size, etc. would have been appropriate. It could even have added to the drama, making her parents a little more apprehensive about the relationship.

The story was very well written. While over the top, the hurdles and the overcoming was interesting. The story was captivating in general. The only major complaint I have is that it ended rather abruptly. I really was hoping for more bulk after the hospital including the reconciliation (with or without the intimate part) and the consequences. Well, you can't have it all I guess. Nonetheless, good job creating this beautiful fantasy that us readers can get lost in.

J. Jamie Dupane

Where's the fuckin sex????

Anyway, five stars.

12 years, kid 8 years old, met when she was in high school now a practicing doctor, married after she graduated (didn't mention bachelors or doctorate), no way unless she married him about the end of junior year, and she was pregnant in med school and internship. But, aa good story anyway.

"of all people". Great reverse Cinderella story.

She might not have street sense but saying a Stanford student who becomes a doctor is dumb makes you look ignorant.

That fight scene describing his rage was pretty awesome. There was so much drama though and it caught me off guard when it ended in a perfect fairy tale lol.

A different twist on things in the Loving section but an enjoyable read. I scratched my head over some of the time lines but it was a nice Women Know Best, happy ever after ending.

Is it possible to be this pigheaded, although I have nothing against swine really, it's a funny metaphor. Crossing class lines is more complicated than this. She will have been indoctrinated with guidelines and minimal requirements, like a degree, or a certain salary, although kids wasn't a problem here. It sounds like the class lines hasn't gone through generations of refinement and the pressure of having so many others take the path before you doesn't appear, and by the description of the social aspect, them being lawyers implies it might have been just this generation's wealth, although the massive home might require more than a single generation.

Anyway, with the indoctrination, you'll get a situation where it's just friends at best. One side hopes for more, and the other somewhat broken up but unwilling to not keep status quo, sort of like country alliances through marriage. Then, revenge.

Dear God, how many times can you go through breakup heartbreak with the same person? I guess he would have done anything for her, hopefully short of sucking creampies. I don't like it when is a female or male maintagonist/povtagonist is really dumb. She went on a date like he asked her to experience and flipped out again.

Although, while I'm sure it was written to demean to a certain extent, the no-contact periods probably helped a lot emotionally. Then the little extra thing about sex before marriage. It's MM-esque, minus the endless girl dialog discussing said guy at the end, gloating in their female power, as if they were comparing cars.

All in all, she's still an entitled bitch, thinking she doesn't have to listen to rules in a lowly car shop, and the story was generally dissatisfying. She didn't even say sorry, and if she did, didn't do it well enough to remember. She should have been arrested for trespassing.

I'll compare the literary corpus from this author I've read to the ones I've read from PAPATOAD, and I'd rather be stuck on an island with neither, but maybe in prison, I'd choose the latter with 1.0 probability.

No. He was deeply affected by her, so finding someone else would have taken time, but he would have been happier. He didn't fight for her, didn't fight with her, but they fought against each other, like her believing the line he started the fight. And her never getting the emotional punch to the gut after realizing she had been played.

This isn't a story of self respect or love.

All very good points. I thought pretty much the same things while I was reading it. Writing a romance story doesn't mean you have to be brainless and accept everything the writer tolds us face value. There are too many inconsistencies and cliches in this story, the main one being the notion of "love at first sight". They fall in love pretty much the first time they met and the author didn't explore what might have been gratitude or wanting to taste a bad boy, which would have been more interesting for me. Even when BG told us this was going to be along story I feel this wasn't long enough because things gelt rushed and he basically repeated the same problematic situation over and over again without really resolving it. What happened with her father? How they grew up from a crush to being in love? In which of both worlds were they going to live? You painted a very realistic scene about they way Kelly's world would react to him. That won't change in the future.

The end was one of those cliches not creative writers use when they want to make a love story work: an accident, a death in the family, someone shot him, etc. So the end was cliche and rushed too. You have everything set to write a great story here, insted you wrote a mildy good one. 3 stars for me

Pretty silly, worse than most of romance novels.

Man! You worked HARD on this RAAC. In fact you had to RAAC them several times over. For kids that young I simply didn't believe it. I wanted to. I like a good fairy tale ending. Happily ever after and all that jazz. But he was such an asshole it was hard to believe the tender hearted Kelly would stick with him. Thanks for the effort.

4 stars

...but sort of what I think a Harlequin Romance would be. A bit of a contrived plot. No problem, however. Thanks.

Thanks for writing a story that didn't cast the Black male as some sex-crazed, illiterate thug. That seems to be the norm from these Literotica writers, they can put their stereotypes on the screen, like it is true life. News flash: Some Blacks are raised in the suburbs you know, and not from a dysfunctional family.

At what time was he black?

Hhh

Another good one.

Just a damn fine author.

There is an apocryphal story about a reporter interviewing the great Zane Grey, author of many, many Western novels - an immensely popular writer in his day. The reporter asked Grey how he created his stories and he was brought into the author's writing room. There were clothes lines back and forth across the room and attached to the cords were clipped (with clothes pins, for those old enough to know what they were) the covers of all Grey's books. To write a new book he said, he would walk through the room and pick the hero from one book and the heroine from another and the sheriff from another and the villain and locale from yet another. By piecing together all the independent pieces he would put together a "new" book that was different from the others, yet sort of the same. There's no way that this BigGuy33 is anywhere near being in Grey's league, but he apparently has hit on a similar technique for writing his tales for Literotica. All his heros are named Henry Weston and they're caring, bright and often blue collar. They don't have a nasty bone in their bodies. His heroines (often named Kelly) are all strong, bright and see something in the Henry-of-the-day to want to stay together. They eventually get together and marry and at the time of the epilogue they have two daughters with a third ("hopefully a boy") on the way. Most of the offspring of the main characters are daughters. So he pulls his characters and scenarios from old stories and puts them together in a new way.

In this tale there is no maturation of the main characters. This version of Kelly is sprung fully mature as a high school senior. Not only is this unlikely, but doesn't give the characters a chance to learn from experience.

I will say that reading many of these tales is kind of fun and I often rate them 4* or higher. I'll go down the list and see if there are any I haven't read yet and see how that Henry makes out in his quest for that Kelly. I see that this author has not written anything recently. Maybe "Henry" has finally retired with his sweetheart and we'll have to look for other entertainment.

I dated a girl in College who was like this girl .. She picked her friends over Me . We broke up and I married My first wife .. That did not work out as She was a Slut .. The Lady I am married to now is 10 times better than Me . But She loves Me and is faithful only to Me ..

Henry's dad was permanently disabled. No matter how it happened Social Security Disability would have paid him a monthly check. He would have received three quarters of his regular check. His wife and two children would have received one half of the total amount of his disability check each month.

For example, if his father made $1000 per month his check would be $750 per month. His wife would receive $325 per month for the rest of her life. Henry and Abby would get checks for $325 per month each until they turned 18. At one point if they went to college it would continue until they turned 22 or graduated which ever happened first.

His dad would qualify for Medicare also for home health care. The family probably would have qualified for Food Stamps as well.

Good story.

It is an extremely good story, and I gave it 5*. My only complaint is that the ending was so rushed. This could have easily been made into two chapters.

I was getting deja vu because I could swear I had read this story a while back. Then it turns out I did.

Great story!⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Very enjoyable. Thanks.

I enjoyed that very much. I was getting worried about how you were going to tie it up when I was just about finished, that epilogue was perfect.

Is this a repost, I’ve read this before somewhere.

Great story.

Just checked, bigguy33 wrote this 2017 why it’s turned up as just published not sure.

Good story. Henry had every right to feel insecure with Kelly.

Rushed thru the ending which was somewhat factual. I don't really get how Kelly dad turned around on Henry. That was glossed over. Just seemed like too many holes. Storyline itself was good though.

Wrong category. Should have been ScienceFiction/Fantasy. There is no way that this ever could happen and it is total fantasy to think she would love him as she did.

Kill the absurd Epilogue and write the missing 5 chapters, please!

Crummy epilogue, but great story. Really needs 1 or 2 more chapters to be a real romantic ending.

BUT--- still gave you 5 stars.

Oh boy! Did you hit it on the head with this story. The so called upper class would soon die if the lower class died first. Who the hell would clean the toilets,never mind change a fuse or even a light bulb. How the hell would they get the car to start on a cold morning. Think your way through this realistic story, it is a them and us. Thank you so much for a fantastic story, don't know why people need more! Thanks again. Hornydevil47.

5 stars but really ended way too fast. This should have been a multi-part story rather then wrapping up everything in a quick epilogue that focused more on everyone else then the two main characters. Sweet story, unsatisfying ending.

I don’t know if it was intentional or not, but I love that in the disclaimer, the word errors is misspelled.

Congratulations Bigguy. Well written.

Your creation, Henry, is a bigoted, loathsome, despicable, snobby, insecure, money grabbing, paranoid, ignorant, arrogant, hatefilled and pigheaded arsehole.

One of the worst characters on Lit.

Very well depicted and written. A great job bringing out all those negative traits in such a short story.

And Kelly. Well she is just too good to be true. Too nice to be real.

How and why she would not only tolerate Henry's hatred, but try to accept him and forgive him for his arrogant attitude and spiteful actions is really unbelievably superhuman.

As always it's a definitely 5 star 🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐. Thank you BG33 for your beautiful romantic and lovely story. From Ali Singapore

Lovely 5* fairy tale! Keep them coming.

"I've used a character named Kelly in a number of stories. Yes, she is a real person, though none of the characters named after her are meant to represent her personally."

It's his mom. She made him kraft mac and cheese last night and then sent him off to the basement.

More evidence this dude knows absolutely nothing about relationships. High school romances that last a lifetime or years after school is exceedingly rare. It wasn't always but today, a successful lasting relationship from childhood/teenage years like that might as well be a Bigfoot sighting.

What Henry offered was the mature and smart thing to do, even if it hurt him and ultimately doomed the relationship. Kelly needed to date other guys, have sex, experiment sexually, have fun etc. College may ultimately be about education but going away and living at school provides education about life and relationships. If Kelly comes back and still wants Henry or they meet up again later, that's wonderful but her time apart IS necessary. Without knowing what love and life with others is like when she is out on her own, away from her parents, eventually she will wonder and it WILL damage her marriage to Henry. It literally happend every single day.

Obviously BigGuy33 doesn't know this because he is either a 1000 years old and married at the time when it was expected after high school or he has never been in a serious relationship

Of course he could also he a simp in a relationship where he has no clue that his wife is a skank.

Decent story,spoilt by the rushed and contrived ending.

Where's the confrontation from her dad? That should have happened and also the realization of who the young man really is in her fathers eyes

So many good aspexts and possibilities in this story that needed to be fleshed out and expanded on..the ending felt rushed..Still a good story

Henry is a short tempered and suspecting character. He really had trust issues with Kelly.

"More evidence this dude knows absolutely nothing about relationships. High school romances that last a lifetime or years after school is exceedingly rare. It wasn't always but today, a successful lasting relationship from childhood/teenage years like that might as well be a Bigfoot sighting."

I've lost count of all the marriages that are still going strong with people who married their HS sweetheart. And some of them are 2nd or 3rd generations that did that.

Hell, my Ex and I went to school together and knew each other for 15 years before we started dating, although we didn't hook up until after college and still lasted 20 years.

Yeah, the education disparity can be an issue, but Henry was a GOOD MAN, something a lot of guys aren't.

Don't see anything wrong with Henry's trust issues!! Kelly had a good sister in Katie!!!

It’s a long story but strangely incomplete. Hopping from one crisis to another doesn’t do it for me, but the plot material is good. Sadly, the possible interactions are ignored. It needs a complete rewrite and considerable expansion. How about it?

You wrote well and with a high degree of creativity. Henry was an Olympic grade conclusion jumper.

The, if reluctant, good guy, (& girl,) wins. 2023, all the civilian and cop violence & killings, but TV shows promote it. No more Gunsmoke where a moral & the good guys suffers, but wins. No where to hunt. Fish are limited to one a month because of waterway pollution. No paperboy/girl routes. 18 to do a job a 14 year old can do. Noone's children have a chance to LEARN what responsibility is. Henry learned it. Henry had it. Henry therefore, lived it, as best he knew it, due to his limited exposure to responsibility as a youth, but had, without knowledge of the law, the law which was in his heart.

I've read hundreds, probably thousandsof tales on Literotica and other adult story sites and this is far and above anything else I have ever read. It was a privilege to read about the heart aches and pitfalls of young life from two lovers on opposite sides and that everything turned out perfectly. Could have enjoyed another chapter/page. A top quality 5*

This is a 5 star Romance story. Nice cast of characters. Love the whole story .

I agree that Henry has his fair share of issues. But funny enough, they were reinforced multiple times during their relationship before she went to Stanford - particularly when she had some random guy's arm around her after ignoring him for a straight hour the first time they went to one of her parties, despite his concerns which he shared with her, and even more when it was obvious that he just wouldn't be accepted among her friends when they deliberately sabotaged him, then lied about him to Kelly, and she refused to believe him.

Wonderful story, but I agree with some of the comments below, it could have been longer, and the characters could have been subtler; he had a right be concerned and his ability to think ahead and not just in the moment was well executed, but he was too unconfident in himself, and while it was really refreshing to come across a female protagonist who was actually a decent person albeit a bit naive at times, she was at times too nice; he did fly off the handle at times with his insecurities. All in all, excellent story and would have enjoyed more of it. They came acroas as a loving, loyal, fun couple .

good story, although I would have changed several things, but I don't write, so thank you. Henry lacked self-confidence because he knew he was always going to be lower class, but with morals. His hope and entire life was to give his little sister a good chance to succeed in lie and get out of poverty.

Excellent story. Well written and highly enjoyable. Henry was really lucky that Kelly loved him enough to forgive him on multiple occasions when he jumped to the wrong conclusions. It's really hard dealing with someone who has deep seated insecurities. It's also hard trying to see someone else's viewpoint when you have never been in their situation in thus case the difference in lifestyle. Overall a wonderful story but like others I'd have liked it to be longer especially towards the end. That's because it was so well written that I didn't want it to end so quickly. BardnotBard

For me the story was far to sweet and sickly. Good story but very unlikely say a 1% chance.

Damn good

I'd like to suggest that HS sweetheart marriages are doomed to fail, but I've seen three of my nephews go down that route and they seem to be doing as OK as any other relationship. The thing is that with social media we get a skewed view of the world. We perceive trends to be accurate representations of the real world and we ignore all counterfactuals in order to confirm biases.

If you hold anything up to an ideal it will fail 99.9% of the time.

Relationships fail for far too many reasons and any failure cannot be encapsulated in any single idea. Normal people don't just cheat and marriages don't breakdown because of a single X, it's always because of a long list of little x's that allow for that big X to happen.

Unfortunately in the blame culture that we live in people demand a victim and a perpetrator, life just isn't that clean. When someone says its not you it's me, it's most certainly is you even if there is nothing you can do to change the 'you', but it is also the 'me' because decisions are always made by someone.

a warm and well written story with deep feelings, I really like this story

Very good story BG, thank you! 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

An incredible story, but in my opinion, Henry was an idiot. Every time he saw Kelly in the "questionable" areas, he should have just asked her what's going on. But it all worked out in the end. Fabulous story anyway