All Comments on 'The Y-Virus Ch. 04'

We don't need to know who stood where, who saluted who, when, and how. You seem to always choose the most verbose and convoluted words to convey a scene, and idea, an impression, or an act. Many of the phrases read like staging a play rather than telling a story. Who sat where, where they placed their glass, who carried what variety of weapons, how many guards there are at each post and secure room, etc. Just drags out the story and distracts from the main concept, how this new society and culture is going to work.

He definitely needs to experience more orgasm torture and denial. Not to mention enema, shocks and other fun surprises :)

In the scenario of a Dystopian future where men are forcibly controlled and milked to re-populate the earth... I for one, would suicide myself in the process of destroying my own testes and any / all other viable DNA suitable for cloning. If the world has gone this mad, I would not allow myself, nor any of my potential progeny to be any part of it.

I think this is really good. I don't think you are over explaining situations or scenes of people I like all of whatcha doing. You should ignore what the previous comment said. But I think there should be more sex.