The Y-Virus Ch. 08

She closed the door behind her.

"I must say, Ryan, that you are very brave for doing this." Nancy said after Alexis's footsteps could no longer be heard.

"Thanks. I guess somebody had to do it, right?"

"Yes, eventually. But I don't want you to worry too much. I'm almost positive the vaccine will work. I've run dozens of computer simulations, I've gone over the math, and I've conferred the molecular stability of the chemical compound with Dr. Gorzinski." Nancy said while looking intently at the syringe.

"I have faith in you, Nancy. I know you wouldn't ask something like this unless you were absolutely sure."

Nancy paused for a moment. "This vaccine has to work . . . it just has to. I know tensions will only rise if the men have to remain inside this building for much longer."

I didn't really have anything to add to that. We both knew she was right.

She continued after a moment's silence, "I know that you're probably going to want to explore more than just the grounds of the CDC after a week or so, I just hope that if you do take it upon yourself to wander . . . just promise me you'll be careful out there."

Nancy was much more solemn than I had seen her before. I was taken aback by this difference in her demeanor.

I spoke softer and with more concern in my voice, "Hey, believe me; I'm not going to take any unnecessary risks. Having said that, I thought I might visit my old hometown of Allen Park, assuming it still existed under that name before the plague. I was thinking that if I did go I could wear some unisex clothing, maybe military fatigues or something, and a helmet that could cover my face. I'd be less likely to draw attention if I just appeared as an inconspicuous, tall, albeit flat-chested woman."

"That might work," Nancy said with a soft voice, "but it might not be enough if you cross paths with a group of women desperate for supplies. If they're desperate enough they might resort to violence."

I thought about what she said. "You may be right, but I simply can't stay in the same place all the time. And I will have other guards with me if I do decide to visit my hometown. Also, I'll have the distress button on the tracking device if anything should go wrong. And I might decide not to go at all."

"If you do, just promise me you'll be extremely careful in everything you do." She looked at me with the eyes of a mother giving permission for her child to cross the street for the first time. It was eerily close to how my own mom looked at me at that point in my childhood.

"I will." I reassured her with a soft pat on her shoulder.

"Since Alexis isn't here perhaps I can tell you . . . well, I'm going to miss giving you your prostate exams if you do decide to go exploring."

I suddenly burst out laughing because I wasn't expecting her to say this. She even chuckled a little with me. I also noticed she was blushing when she admitted this. I always suspected she enjoyed making me moan when she had a finger up my ass. She always seemed to take more time than what I thought was necessary, but I never questioned it aloud because I wasn't—and am still not—a doctor. But to be fair, I also knew she wasn't the only one who took her time when it came to stimulating my prostate. Mary loved doing it to me too whenever she could.

"You know what?" I said, still laughing, "I always thought you liked doing that sort of thing to me. You probably like doing it to the other men too, am I right?"

Nancy didn't say anything. She just smiled, rolled her eyes, and shrugged her shoulders like a guilty child pretending to be innocent. I could almost hear her respond with something like: "Who? Me? Never."

It wasn't long before we heard the returning footsteps of Alexis. We forced ourselves to stifle our laughter moments before the door opened.

"Here we go," Dr. Miller said as she held another tracking bracelet/anklet, "let's try this one on for size."

She handed it to me and I closed the shiny metal device around my left ankle. This one fit much better.

"Yes, that's more like it." I said.

"Are you sure it's not too loose or too tight?" Dr. Miller asked.

"It's perfect."

"That's great. Hold still for one moment please." Dr. Miller pulled a small magnetic key from the breast pocket of her lab coat. After she locked the tracker around my ankle, she put the key back in the same pocket and began to tap her DataPad a few times. "There, I have you in our system now."

I wrapped my sock over the tracking device and wiggled my foot a little. It would take more than the elastic of my sox to press down the distress button, and I was glad of that. I was surprised that the device was lightweight, too.

Alexis turned to face Nancy, then me. "Well, shall we proceed with the injection, Mr. Barber?"

I paused for a moment and drew in a deep breath. Exhaling, I said, "I'm ready."

"Are you sure, Mr. Barber? If you decide to back down now, neither Dr. Weller nor I will be offended. I have to ask again: Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

"I'm sure."

"Very well," She turned to Nancy, "Dr. Weller, would you administer the vaccine, please?"

"Yes doctor." Nancy replied as she approached me with a small bottle of rubbing alcohol and a cotton ball in one hand; the syringe in the other.

She rubbed the alcohol-soaked cotton ball in small circles over my left forearm. I never really had a fear of needles, so I didn't cringe or look away when the needle broke my skin. The small amount of pressure I felt from the needle only took the backseat of my mind compared to the anxiety I felt about the slim chance the vaccine could fail (even though I was very confident in Nancy's and Alexis' research). As the cobalt-blue liquid was forced slowly into my veins, I could feel it running its course through the increasing number of intersecting veins. I would almost call the sensation 'warm.'

Nancy slowly withdrew the needle once all of the vaccine was injected into me. She planted a fresh cotton ball over where the needle had been, and used a piece of medical tape to keep it in place.

As soon as Nancy pulled the needle from my forearm, Alexis tapped her finger a couple times on her tablet.

"Time of injection: 11:46am. Mr. Barber, you will be given permission to leave the quarantined area at 11:46pm or any other time beyond that if you wish."

"As much as I'd love to go beyond these walls as soon as possible, I think it's safe for me to assume I'll be much too tired to fully enjoy it. Besides, I'd much rather greet the morning sun first. Call me a sentimentalist if you want, but I'd like my first experiences outside to be during the dawn of a new day."

Nancy spoke this time. "I think I can speak for both Dr. Miller and myself when I say that that would be best. Also, if I may say so, I can appreciate the notion of wanting to see the sun first."

"I figured I'd appreciate being outside much more if I weren't tired, but I admit to a small degree that I sort of like the symbolism of going outside in the morning."

Both doctors understood what I meant and Nancy smiled at the idea. Alexis, on the other hand, kept her usual formal composure.

"Well, Mr. Barber, I think that about sums up everything we need to do today. I should probably go and have those few words with Dr. Minoko. I think I know just what to say to her to reduce her anxiety. But before I go, I must encourage you to wait an hour before eating, Mr. Barber."

"Yes doctor."

Alexis turned to leave the room and Nancy and I followed closely behind her.

I walked the opposite way Alexis did when we reached the corridor outside the main examination room. I decided to pass the next hour or so in the comfort of my own room. My original plan was to read more of the book on hover vehicles, but when I closed the door to ward 408 behind me, I just wanted to lie down and meditate on what I was getting myself into. Before lying down, I pressed the necessary button to lift the metal screen covering the sole window in my room. Natural light poured into the room and I took a moment to appreciate the notion that I would be allowed to experience the real thing tomorrow. No filter.

I walked backward from my window slowly, sitting down as soon as the backs of my legs bumped into the side of my bed. The bed seemed softer than usual, but I put that off as a side effect of the Weller Vaccine. I spun my feet up and over the mattress to finally lie myself down. Closing my eyes, I tried to think about the first thing I would do once I was outside. It was funny; I had no clue. Nothing viable seemed to enter my mind as I meditated. I thought about taking a hover vehicle with the women assigned to accompany me and go straight to Allen Park, but I knew that would be a very bad move, seeing as how I knew nothing about the outside world—at least from a subjective account. I thought about helping Alexis and the people of the CDC by volunteering to scout new areas, but that would be equally reckless.

It wasn't until my stomach started making noises that I opened my eyes and looked at the clock in my room. It had been more than an hour-and-a-half since I was injected with the Weller Vaccine. I hadn't eaten up to that point in the day, so I figured it would be easier to come up with a better idea of what to do when I was outside for the first time if I had a full stomach.

Walking to the cafeteria, I ran into many men and women. Each of them thanked me for volunteering—all with the exception of Zach Fillmore. He just looked the other way as we passed one another. I didn't much care whether or not I had his appreciation for the risk I took. The people I truly cared about were grateful and that was all that mattered to me.

The cafeteria was all a buzz that morning. Gossip was spreading faster than the Y-Virus ever could. Most of the banter seemed to be about how soon I would be the first man to walk outside. Some of the other conversations were about a pair of men who were scheduled to impregnate a woman assigned to each of them. There was good reason for people to be happy, though there was still a hint of worry about whether or not I would live with the Weller Vaccine in my blood. I was confident I'd be alright.

I sat at my usual table near the primary entrance to the cafeteria (the only double door entrance) and Tabby Cat nearly sprinted up to me. She was beaming with happiness and was short of breath when she reaching me. It looked as though nothing could slow her down.

"Dr. Miller has given me permission to go outside with you today, darlin'! I was really hopin' to be a parta history, to be there when ya make that first step outside."'

"That is great news, Tabby Cat," I said, "I was hoping you'd be with me. Perhaps you can show me around the CDC grounds."

"Ya got it, darlin'. I'd love to. By the way, what can I make ya this mornin' fur breakfast?"

"Waffles and scrambled eggs, if it's not too much trouble."

"Ain't no trouble at all, darlin'. It'll be right up."

Tabby Cat turned and went on her way. A moment after, Hanna carefully walked towards my table with a bowl of oatmeal. Her caregiver that day, a woman named Dana Proust, snapped at her saying, "Hanna, where do you think you're going?" Hanna turned slowly, carefully, with her bowl held steady in both hands. She simply looked at Dana with an expression I couldn't know since her back was turned to me.

"It's alright," I told Dana from halfway across the large room, my hand waving in the air to get her attention, "She can sit with me. It's fine by me."

"I'm just worried about her spilling her oatmeal. She's had a case of the butterfingers lately."

"I'm sure she'll be alright. It's just oatmeal."

The caregiver just gave me a look of minor annoyance. I think it had something to do with the fact that somebody other than Dr. Miller told her to "calm down" in so many words. She too seemed the type who liked to be in charge. Almost half the time I saw her she had a frown or some other disapproving look on her face.

Dana Proust simply gave a waving/brushing gesture with her hand. It was her way of telling Hanna that she was allowed to be on her way.

Hanna scurried over to my table while paying special attention to her bowl. She was clearly a little embarrassed that her caregiver announced she was prone to spilling and dropping things with a volume loud enough so all could hear. Fortunately, Hanna had no accidents and planted her bowl on my table and sat down next to me.

She looked down and said, "I'm sorry about yesterday. I just don't want you to . . . I don't want you to hurt like my daddy did."

"Hey," I brought my hand under her chin and made her look at me, "everything will be fine. Dr. Weller and Dr. Miller know what they're doing. You know they both worked very hard and had the best help in the lab. They wouldn't have asked anybody to volunteer unless they were absolutely sure about the vaccine." I wanted to reassure the poor girl that I'd be okay, not bring up the small chance it wouldn't work. For the sake of the child, I bent the truth; or rather, I omitted part of the truth.

Hanna just nodded slowly when I took my fingers away from under her chin. I knew I didn't completely put her fears to rest. I couldn't blame her; I too still had a modicum of doubt at that time.

I quickly tried to change the subject by asking her about the things she recently learned from her caregivers and teachers. She told me she was learning math and history, but she was definitely more excited in telling me about when Tabby Cat taught the girls basics in agriculture ("farming" was the word she used to describe the lessons). She really liked Tabby Cat and made sure that I knew she was a good teacher who was always kind to the younger girls.

"Did you know that Tabby Cat is going to be with me when I go outside today?"

"Really?! I wish I could be there with you too," Hanna pouted. "Ms. Proust says we can't have recess until later." Hanna now lowered her voice a little, "She can be a real meanie sometimes. Please don't tell her I said that."

I held out my pinky in the gesture of making a 'pinky swear'. She simply looked at me with a confused blank stare, looked at my pinky in the same way, then looked back at me. I suddenly realized the possibility that pinky swears weren't a thing in the twenty-fourth century. Hanna didn't know what to do, so she put the tip of her pinky up to the tip of mine.

I laughed.

"I'm sorry. Here . . ." I hooked my pinky around hers, "now curl your pinky just like mine." She did. "There we go. This is what we used to call a 'pinky swear' from my time. Now I say, 'I pinky swear not to say anything to Ms. Proust.' "

Hanna seemed amused by the small ritual. She even giggled a little. It didn't surprise me at all. It was a childish thing from my time, but in my defense she was a child.

I turned in time to see Tabby Cat coming with a plate with an abnormally large stack of waffles and almost a mountain of scrambled eggs next to it. When she laid the plate on the table in front of me, both Hanna and I looked at each other. Hanna giggled a little more quietly than she did before.

"You really have outdone yourself this time, Tabby Cat." I said in good humor.

"I figure you deserve a hearty meal, darlin', fur what you're doin' fur us." She patted my shoulder and smiled like she usually did after bringing me a meal. "It's my way of sayin' thank you."

"No. I should be the one saying thank you." I looked at my plate with huge eyes. "I sure as hell—" I quickly looked at Hanna, and then corrected my language, "I mean, I sure as heck won't go hungry today."

"Not if I have anything to do about it, darlin'." Tabby Cat said the instant before turning on her heals to join the other cooks in the kitchen (I was surprised to learn one of them was a man I knew from around the quarantine named Will Harris. I figured he felt much like how I felt: wanting to contribute something to the CDC instead of lounging around all day).

Hanna and I both began to eat. I was little more than halfway through eating the tremendous meal in front of me when Akira sat next to me, opposite Hanna. She sort of snuck up on me because my back was turned to the double doors. I almost choked because I wasn't expecting to see her so suddenly. She also wasn't wearing her usual white lab coat. She wore a Sunday dress, or at least what might be called a Sunday dress in the twenty-fourth century.

I said, with a mouthful of waffle, "Akira, my goodness . . ." I chewed some more and finally swallowed, "I wasn't sure if . . . I was uncertain . . ."

She looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

I took a second to straighten out what I wanted to say. "I didn't know if you'd bother meeting up with me today. I hope you're not still upset with me." I gave Akira my most sincere look of apology.

"No. I'm not mad at you, Ryan. Alexis spoke with me last night and set a few things straight. As much as I don't like the idea of you taking the risk, I can't tell you what to do with your life. She also put it into perspective that I should be a little proud of you, not upset. You're a very brave man for volunteering. It was clear no other man would."

I couldn't help but blush a little when she said this. I blushed because I understood that she truly meant what she said. She wasn't just saying things in a feeble attempt to make me feel better about volunteering while, at the same time, struggling with some kind of internal guilt at making me feel sorry about doing it.

"Hey," I playfully patted her shoulder, "Akira, I'm sorry for making you feel conflicted about it. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I should've talked it over with you yesterday before walking up to Nancy and Alexis. I know you care about me and don't want to see me hurt—or anybody else for that matter."

"I just didn't want you to be the one to take the risk. Alexis and I had a long conversation about it, and she reminded me how we couldn't choose volunteers on our own. We, the women, agreed days before thawing the men from stasis that we would make every effort not to let any of our potential feelings get in the way of allowing necessary things to be done. A volunteer was needed, you volunteered, and so it must be. I should've anticipated this as a possibility." Akira paused for a moment and looked away from me and at the floor. I didn't like it when she looked somewhere other than in my own eyes when she talked to me. I instinctively felt she was either hiding some feeling or was lying entirely. Her eyes remained on the same spot on the ground as she continued, "I just . . . I want to stay close to you for the first six weeks. I want to . . ."

I broke in, "You don't need to justify anything you feel in your heart. You don't need to make anything right. There's nothing to correct, nothing to make amends for," I noticed Akira fighting against tears, "nothing to cry for. Nancy is a very smart woman, and so are the other women who worked on the vaccine. I'm sure there will come a day when we both end up laughing about how silly our fears were during these days, and our children, male and female, will be able to play outside without any of the same fears you were surrounded with."

"Perhaps you and Alexis are right, but only time will tell for sure." Akira was now doing a slightly better job of keeping her emotions in order, but she was still exhibiting signs of anxiety. Her fingers were fidgeting with a napkin.

I turned my attention over to Hanna. The subject matter wasn't making things any easier for the girl. I made an effort to change the mood.

Looking down at the remaining pile of food on my plate, I opened my eyes wide, and then looked at Hanna. With a high-pitched voice, I said, "What the heck am I gonna do with all of this? If I didn't know any better, I'd swear Tabby Cat was trying to make me fat."