There and Back Again Ch. 019-020

Author's Note:

The delay in chapters posting to this site is not of my making. It takes several days for documents to be reviewed and approved by the Literotica moderators. To counter that, I have combined two chapters into one document, and will continue to do so until this site is caught up.

There are currently over 100 chapters of this story. By the time this site is caught up, there will be more. Chapter sizes will remain 3500-5000 words, to keep them consistent. I plan to take this story through to the DA2 timeline, and possibly further if I can figure out all the changes that need to happen...Currently, I write a new chapters approximately every two weeks.

I want to thank everyone for the enthusiastic responses to this story! It will not remain 'non-erotic' forever, and will eventually fall into the Sci-Fi and Fantasy Category, so keep an eye out!

-E

Chapter Nineteen: Time for Truth

We rejoined the others, and I gave Aedan a slight nod as I sat down. He smiled at me, and I rested my head against his shoulder for a moment. Leliana was back, her expression tightly controlled, and I was briefly tempted to try to rekindle her blush, but decided that would be unkind. Aedan, Wynne, and I discussed the ritual that was to take place in Redcliffe. Wynne was skeptical, but Aedan and I both thought Morrigan was the best choice to enter the Fade. The question was how to get her to agree to it. My suggestion was to appeal to her pride - for Aedan to tell her that he didn't want to impose on her, but that he wasn't sure any of these other mages could do it, and ask her to help him choose someone. He wanted me to convince her, but I knew he could do it, and he needed to stay firmly in everyone's mind as the leader.

I also suggested that Aedan try to get a few moments alone with Solona - assuming she was in Redcliffe - and see if she wanted to be recruited. He was the Grey Warden - I figured the offer should come from him. The conscription would certainly have to, if she agreed.

We sat around the table or wandered the deck of the boat for the rest of the day. I was a tad seasick, having never been on a boat before, until Wynne used some sort of spell on me and I felt better. After that, sailing on the lake was glorious - sun shining, not excessive wind, and relatively warm. The spray from the water felt nice, though it made me wish for more - I was still sticky and disgusting from the corpse Alistair had dropped on me.

We docked in Redcliffe late in the evening. We were met there by Bann Teagan, with a few of the knights and a very subdued Theron. Both men nearly jumped out of their skins when I disembarked, and I hid my smile behind my hand. Theron had the grace to look embarrassed, and I noticed Aedan narrowing his eyes in response.

Apparently the mages had already arrived, and were in the process of readying the ritual; it would be morning before anyone could enter the Fade to rescue Connor. As we walked up to the castle, Teagan handed a piece of paper to Aedan, which was tucked into a pocket before I could blink. Morrigan joined us, pointedly telling Jowan to wait outside.

Teagan managed to suppress his questions until we were inside, safely in the library. "My lady! I thought I'd lost my mind when you disappeared. Morrigan assured me you would be fine, but I was still worried. And why are you wearing armour?"

I hesitated, but we had all decided to tell Eamon about myself and Theron anyway, and given the way I left Redcliffe, I couldn't justify further lies.

"What has Morrigan told you?"

"Not much. She's a hard nut to crack." She smirked, and I gave her a thankful smile.

"She was protecting me. But I think it's safe to tell you everything. Are you all okay with that?" I turned and met each of my friend's eyes, getting cautious nods from Aedan, Alistair, Leliana, Morrigan, and finally, after a thoughtful moment, Theron. "Leliana, would you be a dear and grab my pack out of our room?" She nodded and scampered off.

"I have to apologise, Bann Teagan. You see, for reasons of our own, each of us has secrets to hide, but mine are perhaps some of the biggest. I have lied to you, since we met, about many things. And I am sorry for that, though I had no choice at the time. If you'll promise not to act on what I tell you until you've heard the entire story, I will tell you the truth. Though you need to know that in this instance, the truth may put you in danger."

He gave me his word, and for the second time in two days I launched into the explanation of where I came from. Leliana returned in the midst of this, and I started passing him items to back up my story. Having seen me disappear into thin air, he was moderately easier to convince than the rest of our little group, which was good because I knew nothing personal that I could use to convince him.

"So, you can see, I am not a noblewoman, just a mystery in disguise. And the disguise was necessary, because there is another truth I was hiding. There were some survivors from the battle at Ostagar. Most of them from the rear of the vanguard, however, there were two from the very front line - one is a Grey Warden who has left on Warden business, but the other..." I gestured at Theron. "Take a closer look at my so-called bodyguard, my Lord. It might help to imagine him as a blond."

Teagan turned his piercing gaze on Theron, who stepped forward, posture changing subtly to look more authoritative, more arrogant. Teagan studied his face, and I noticed him glancing surreptitiously at Alistair from the corner of his eye. Finally someone else notices the resemblance! He turned to look at me, and I could see recognition, but then a question in his eyes. I shook my head slightly. No, he doesn't know about Alistair. Don't blow it. He turned back to Theron, crossing his arms in front of his chest, and bowed deeply.

"Your Majesty, I cannot excuse myself enough. I should have recognised you sooner, Nephew."

"Well, Uncle, that was rather the point of the disguise, wasn't it? No one takes too close a look at a noblewoman's mercenary bodyguard." He smiled and embraced the Bann warmly, and Teagan relaxed slightly. I stepped back in, speaking before Theron got fully back into King mode.

"So I apologise, my Lord, for the deception, but it was the best way we could come up with to safeguard Theron, now that Loghain is angling for the throne. He dislikes the necessity of hiding his existence, but we have convinced him it is necessary. I hope we can count on you to keep this secret? You must continue to treat him like a nobody. If anyone sees you defer to him, or call him 'your majesty', Loghain will stop at nothing to have him (and anyone who knows about him) executed."

Teagan nodded, bowing his head to Theron in acquiescence. He looked thoughtful, and I imagined he would have a lot of questions later. During the discussion, some of our group had slipped out, so by the end, there was only Theron, Aedan, Alistair, and myself with Teagan in the library. Once it seemed he was convinced, Aedan excused himself and asked to speak to Theron privately. The two left, and I was alone with Alistair and Teagan. He waited until we heard the footsteps recede, and then Teagan spoke.

"Maker's breath, how did I not see it? Alistair, you and he could practically be twins. But...listen, I think he knows, or maybe at least guesses. I don't know how - some servant gossiping about you perhaps? But some of the things he's said since you left, Lady Sierra..."

"Just Sierra, please. I'm not a noblewoman, I never was." I blushed and refused to meet his gaze. "But, my lord, what do you mean about Theron? What did he say?"

"I can't remember exactly. Something about royal bastards running around the castle, I didn't pay attention to the rest. Though...I was quite annoyed, actually. If it hadn't been for you, Sierra, I probably would have turned him out for being impudent." I stood stock still, furiously trying to think. What had I said, exactly? Oh God, what have I done? My hands covered my horrified face of their own accord, and I felt both Alistair and Teagan reach out to steady me.

"Sierra?" Alistair asked, voice kind. "Are you alright?"

"No, I'm really, really not. I'm so sorry, Alistair. I swore I'd never tell anyone, but I think I screwed up. I think I accidentally told Theron."

"What? How-"

"I was angry. The reasons don't matter, now. But I told him...something like why didn't he go seduce another serving girl, because what was one more royal bastard in Redcliffe Castle? I'm so sorry Alistair. I can't believe...I'm so stupid...I just don't think before I talk sometimes."

Alistair sighed, but to my surprise, squeezed my hand gently. "It's okay. We knew he'd figure it out eventually, whether Eamon or Loghain or someone else told him. I guess at least here we have the chance to deal with it before it gets ugly in public."

"Promise me to stay away from him until I talk to him? Please? Let me fix this, as much as it can be fixed."

"Oh don't worry about me. I've no desire to have my execution ordered by my King. I think I feel the need to sleep in tomorrow." He turned to leave, bowing slightly to Teagan on the way. I watched him sadly, then turned back to Teagan. We were alone.

"I'm sorry, my lord."

"I thought we agreed, no more titles?"

"That was fair, my lord, when you thought I had a title as well, but I don't. I'm not a noblewoman, I don't even have the same status as a serving woman - I'm not Fereldan."

"Ah. You think this is why you couldn't be with someone here?"

"Only one reason of many, my lord."

"Many? I didn't think we were that bad. And if I'm the noble and you're not, you have to do as I say, right? So that means...at least in private, you will call me Teagan. Alright?"

"Yes, Teagan, many. I would have thought it was obvious. You're a noble, I'm not. I'm not even clear that I'm really even human in this world, or if I'm just insane and you a figment of my imagination. Even if you're real, I'm fairly certain that me vanishing into thin air isn't going to go over well at parties. And then showing up again, who knows where, with weird clothing..."

"Sierra, if you didn't want them to be, those reasons wouldn't be enough." I opened my mouth to object, and he held up a hand to stop me. "Peace, woman, I'm not being pushy. I can see the forest despite the trees. Your heart belongs to someone else. I don't blame you - he's a good person, and deserves someone like you. For the record, you definitely picked the right brother. I just hope you will let him in, when the time comes." I blushed crimson, looking down.

"Thank you, Teagan. But as you will eventually see, I have nothing to offer you or anyone else." I swallowed, my voice thick with emotion that I refused to let out. "I'd like to change the subject. Will you keep an eye on Theron when we go? He seems to listen to Aedan, and I've managed to shame him into behaving a couple of times, but...I'm afraid he's going to forget the minute we're out of sight and start trying to order you to provide him an escort and march directly on Denerim. Can you manage him, until we get back? Honestly, if it means you have to lock him up in the dungeon, will you do it, for the good of Ferelden?"

"In this...performance of yours, he didn't survive, did he?"

"No. Alistair was forced to take the throne, and he was brilliant at it, despite hating every minute of it. I am glad Theron survived, but good God keeping him alive in spite of himself is proving to be a chore."

"I'm amazed you want to, really. I confronted him, when you disappeared. He didn't confirm anything, and clearly had nothing directly to do with your disappearance, but I can guess what happened to make him look so guilty."

"Please don't. Aedan will kill him, if Alistair doesn't. They're too honourable for their own good. It was a stupid mistake, one he paid for in humiliation, and I won't risk everything to let someone defend my non-existent honour. Just don't speculate, okay? Not even in your inside voice." At this Teagan laughed, and I blushed into a red-faced grin. Stupid earth sayings.

"In answer to your question, yes, I will manage him, somehow. But you better be around to back me up and keep me from the executioner's axe afterwards."

"I swear. And I'll have words with Aedan and Alistair, just in case I'm not."

"Can I ask you something?" I nodded. "You're not Fereldan. This is neither your world nor your fight. With your knowledge, you could just run away. So...why?"

"I..." I had to think. How to explain? "Where I'm from, my life is safe but horrible. Nothing scary ever happens, but I also don't ever feel like I can make a difference. I'm an anonymous nobody. I have no family, no friends. At the moment I don't even have a job. I'm not leaving anything behind.

"Here I can maybe make a difference. Besides. We're in the middle of a Blight - where would I go? And honestly, I'm not even sure I have a choice. You saw what happened when Aedan and Alistair left me behind. I just disappear and catch up to them. God forbid they ever separate - I might end up as two skinny dwarves instead of one human." I giggled, and Teagan laughed.

"Being in two places at once sounds useful, actually."

"Doesn't it? I might just have to try it and see what happens."

With another laugh, I finally took my leave and headed to the guestroom I was in before. Approaching the door with dread, I stepped inside with a sigh of relief. Leliana was nodding off in the chair, though she jumped up as the door swung shut.

"I thought you might like some company. Though after last night I wouldn't blame you if you sent me away."

"Leliana, seriously? I enjoyed the cuddle. I'm not freaked out. Relax, okay? I trust you. Now get your ass into that bed and go to sleep."

And we both did.

In the morning the mages had finished preparing, and Aedan had discussed the situation with Morrigan - successfully, obviously, since she volunteered when the lead mage asked who would be going. Unlike in the game, Irving himself was not present, but a whole slew of templars were. Connor's sleeping form had been moved into the middle of a circle of seated mages, and Morrigan sat beside him, taking his hand in her own. She looked up at us, telling us to go away and stop staring at her, then nodded to the leader to begin.

I had already donned my light leather armour, and with practice sword in hand I went out to the courtyard. I warmed up as usual, and then Wayne had me actually practice with the sword on a scarecrow stuffed with hay. I watched and then tried to mimic the strikes he taught me, only somewhat managing to avoid tripping over myself. Shaking his head, he took my sword away again and instead handed me an actual dagger, though the blade was dull. I felt much more comfortable with this, and was much more successful at not falling down as I slashed and stabbed at the dummy. He tried me with a second dagger, and my coordination suffered a bit, but I was able to compensate.

The obvious conclusion - that I was apparently a rogue, at least I might be if I trained for another 20 years perhaps - stunned me. I never played rogues in games, always chose to be a mage, or a ranger, or if forced to fight in melee, a sword-and-shield warrior type. I had never thought of myself as dexterous; I thought I disliked the sneaky stuff. Though I had to admit that in an actual battle, when I was one step from throwing up on myself in fear, being sneaky didn't seem so bad really.

And it was one more defense against Irving's assertion that I was a templar...unless the game was wrong and rogues could be templars in reality.

The sound of snorting laughter brought me back, and I realised that I was stabbing at a mostly destroyed practice dummy with both daggers flying, showing no finesse and a fair amount of pure fury. I stopped, embarrassed, trying not to listen to the jokes flying about the little girl and her pointy daggers, though I walked a little taller when I heard a couple saying things like "Remind me not to get on her bad side!"

I needed to talk to Alistair.

I needed a bath.

Torn between conflicting needs, I handed Wayne back both daggers with a blush and an apology, then headed back into the castle - both needs were within. But which to do first?

My question was answered as I literally ran headfirst into Alistair in the hallway. I bounced off him, managing not to fall, to my relief. As I stepped back, I realised he was holding a towel, a pile of clean clothes, and soap. I narrowed my eyes - he wasn't anywhere near a bathtub - and then grinned.

"Having a shower?" He blushed and stammered. Poor Chantry boy. I decided to rescue him from his own painful degree of innocence. "Go, don't let me stop you. But after...would you meet me? I think we need to talk."

He agreed, and we elected to meet up in the main hall once I was done bathing and he finished showering. I rushed to have a bath drawn up, and sank into it gratefully as I scrubbed away equal measures of sweat and frustration, washing my hair twice for good measure. I'd washed up on the boat as well as I could, but without shampoo I wasn't convinced my hair was even close to clean of blood and gore.

Afterwards I put on my linen dress and bound my hair up - Teagan had suggested we maintain my status as a 'lady', so I wasn't supposed to go around in pants and a shirt, to my annoyance. I headed to the main hall and found Alistair chatting with Teagan, both laughing over stories of Alistair's youth. Teagan gave me an impish smile as Alistair jumped up when he saw me. I blushed, avoiding his eyes, and followed Alistair upstairs to the same balcony I'd gone to with Teagan.

Chapter Twenty: Unanswered Questions

I was reluctant to break the silence, at first, and more afraid of the answers I might get to the questions I needed to ask. Alistair stared out over Redcliffe Village, expression distant. I turned to sit on the wall of the balcony.

"It was you who left me this." He showed me the amulet around his neck, the one that had been fixed by Eamon. I nodded.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"You were sleeping, and I didn't want to disturb you. And I didn't want to draw attention by giving it to you with others around."

"I suppose you already know how much it means to me, but thank you."

"Did Duncan tell you much about her?"

"A bit. He promised to send her a letter asking her to come to Ferelden at some point once this crisis is ended. Can you believe I'm half an elf?"

"You seem a bit tall for an elf, I admit."

"I don't exactly know how I feel about it. I mean, when I thought she was dead, my upbringing made sense. But now..."

"You wonder how she could have left you." He nodded. "She wasn't given a choice, is how. She's unique, for the Grey Wardens - somehow she is no longer Tainted. Not subject to the Calling. I wouldn't be surprised if you end up having to go to Weisshaupt to see her, instead of hoping she comes here - they will never want to let her go. They want to 'study' her. If she kept you, you'd have been used as a hostage against her. And against Ferelden, had they figured out who your father was. She was trying to save you from them."

"You sound so bitter about the Grey Wardens."

"Everything I've read, everything in the performance...Duncan, and you and Aedan, are such honourable men. And from what you've said, many of those that died at Ostagar, too. The other Grey Wardens really...aren't. They've taken the whole 'the end justifies the means' thing way too far, and somehow lost their humanity in the process. Kind of like the templars, actually. Truly, the only hope I have for the future of the Grey Wardens lies with you and Aedan."