There and Back Again Ch. 019-020

He looked uncomfortable, and I chose to change the subject, give him some space on the topic.

"So. Is there any way for you to check if someone is a templar?"

"Unless you use a templar ability like holy smite on me? No."

"Well, you were standing nearby when Uldred died. Did I use holy smite then?"

"No. However, you could have used an ability that only targets mages - or other mana-using creatures - for example, and I wouldn't know. In theory, anyway."

"You're a big help." I sighed, sliding my back down the wall to sit on the floor, curled up with my chin on my knees. "Okay well, are you aware of any templar ability that would do...what happened to Uldred?" The image of the abomination with blood spraying out of his eyes, nose, and mouth made me nauseous, and I tried to think of something else. I ended up looking up at Alistair's handsome face, and felt better.

"I'm not. But...I wasn't a full-fledged templar, either. It's possible there are some skills I never learned, or some way that Lyrium grants more abilities." Alistair slid down to sit beside me.

"Alright, well...can someone who is a rogue be a templar? Or are they all warriors?"

"I doubt the divide between those is as big as you think. If your question is whether someone who leans more to dexterity than strength can be a templar, the answer is yes."

"I hate you right now. You know that, right?" He grinned half-heartedly. "Okay, here's one. Have you ever heard of someone being born with innate templar powers? Or do they have to be trained?"

"I've definitely never heard of innate abilities. Everyone I ever knew had to train, though some had to work harder at it than others. I think the key was the discipline, being able to clear your mind of everything but what you were trying to do. Those who were good at the discipline found the abilities came easier."

"Well, that clinches it, then. I'm no templar. I've never trained, I lack even the most basic discipline, and my mind was definitely not focused during that fight with Uldred - I was screaming in fear for you and Aedan. It must have been that electricity thing from back at home."

Alistair grimaced. "A random lightning strike? With specific effects that mimic a templar's abilities? And happening this often? Do these 'surges' happen often, normally? It seems like a poor system, if yes."

"Well, no, they don't, but...it makes more sense than me being some sort of innate templar freak, doesn't it?"

"I just don't know, Sierra. Some part of me hopes you are a templar, mostly so I could rub it in the face of the Revered Mother where I was trained. She spent a lot of time trying to make me feel guilty for not being keener to finish my training, for making them waste the effort on me. Someone with abilities like that without them and without Lyrium...yeah, that would be kind of fun. As to what they would do to you if it was true and they found out...I don't know."

We sat silently for a bit, shoulders barely touching. Between the stone I leaned on and the wind, I was cold; between the cold and my fear, I started shivering slightly. Alistair put his arm over my shoulders, offering his warmth, and I leaned into him, but the shivering wouldn't stop. I tried to hold it in, was furious as a couple of tears trailed down my face. Alistair looked down in surprise as one of them splashed onto his hand.

"Oh, blast. Don't cry, Sierra. We will figure it out. And Duncan, Aedan and I won't let anything happen to you."

"You can't promise that. I appreciate that you want to, but...you can't even promise to survive the Blight, given what I know Duncan told you. And that's assuming I don't just disappear and end up in the middle of the darkspawn horde. No one can keep me safe, Alistair." There was no reply to that, and so he just sat, providing comfort and warmth all at once.

I wiped a couple of frustrated tears away, finally forcing the shaking to stop. We sat for another few minutes while I collected myself, and as we stood the door to the balcony burst open and Aedan came through with Prince, with eyes flashing, and a face like thunderclouds. It was a good testament to how angry he looked that Alistair stepped in front of me, arms out, as Aedan barrelled towards me. Even Prince got in front of him, growling. Protecting me? From Aedan?

"You will tell me what happened, Sierra."

"What? Aedan, what is wrong?"

"You told us you thought disappearing might be triggered by emotional upset. What did he do?"

"Aedan, I have no idea what you're talking about. What's going on?"

"I've been trying to get the truth from Theron, but he won't say. Morrigan knows something, but she wouldn't either and now she's busy. Don't act stupid. What did he do?"

"Nothing, Aedan. Please. Stop. There's nothing for you to go poking your nose in. Just let it go, okay?"

Alistair had stepped to counter any move he tried to make towards me, and the two men were coming close to wrestling as he kept trying. Aedan was practically growling in frustration, and I finally thought to intervene. I put one hand gently on Alistair and moved him to the side. Prince reluctantly let me pass.

"He won't hurt me. It's okay." I approached Aedan, hands out. When I reached him, I put my hands on his shoulders, ducking down to meet his gaze. "Aedan. I'm fine. Everything's fine."

He was almost shaking with rage. I held his gaze, trying to reassure him. He finally slumped a little, the tension draining out of him, and I took the opportunity to give Alistair a look, motioning my head towards to door leading inside. He gave me a skeptical look but I nodded and motioned again. Finally he acquiesced and practically tiptoed inside. I'd never noticed before, but Alistair could move quite quietly when he tried. When not wearing armour, at any rate.

Left alone with Aedan, I waited for him to finally speak. When he did, his words surprised me.

"I'm sorry, Sierra, if I scared you."

"I've never been scared of you, Aedan. Scared for you, yes, but not of you."

"It's just...you're the only family I have left, Sierra. Well, Fergus, too, but I'm not going to see him anytime soon. You are my sister, regardless of where you were born. I left the rest of them behind, knowing they'd be slaughtered. I swore to myself that I wouldn't do the same again, that I'd protect you, and then I left you here. With him. And you can deny it if you want, but I know he did something. I could see it on his face, and he tried to rub my nose in it this morning, thinking I was a jealous lover."

"You don't have to worry about him. I may not be able to protect myself from darkspawn, but I can certainly manage one idiot. Trying to brag is just a symptom of his wounded pride. You want to know what happened? I kicked his ass. He surprised me with an inappropriate advance after I had already told him no. I didn't realise it was him, when he surprised me - I tossed him to the ground and almost slit his throat. And I held him down there until he realised I was serious. He won't bother me again, I don't think. His fragile little ego wouldn't allow him to be bested by a woman twice, I suspect. He didn't hurt me, I promise. And you need to let it go - he's your King."

"Sierra, I...I just couldn't...if anything happened to you..."

"How's this. Next time someone tries to seduce me, I'll let you kick his ass. Deal?" He snorted, and I giggled.

"Oh and just who do you think is going to try?"

"Well, let me tell you, if Sten tries I'm definitely calling you to help." Now we both started giggling, and that's how a frightened-looking servant found us a few minutes later.

"My lord, my lady, Bann Teagan requests your presence in the main hall."

We collected ourselves and Aedan offered me his arm to escort me downstairs. Before we went, I quickly explained the problem that Theron may have learned about Alistair's parentage. He promised to think about any possible damage control for that problem. As we drew close, it became obvious why we'd been requested. We could hear multiple voices talking, but the one that stood out was Isolde's high-pitched Orlesian accent, crying and exclaiming. The mages had finished their ritual; Connor was awake.

Entering the main hall, Isolde knelt at the front of the room, hugging a very dazed-looking Connor to her breast. The snooty Orlesian annoyed me to no end, but even I was forced to smile at the emotional reunion. Alistair stood by himself, expression a mix of pleasure and longing. It tugged at my heart seeing him look like that, especially for this horrible woman who had treated him so poorly. I had to struggle with myself not to run over and hug him. Aedan rescued me by excusing himself and heading over to clap his hand on the templar's shoulder, distracting him with some sort of conversation.

I looked around the rest of the room; Leliana was talking with Theron and Bann Teagan, with Sten glowering nearby; the mages were talking amongst themselves, and Morrigan stood alone, expression aloof. I went over to her, drawing a surprised grunt as I drew her into a hug.

"Thank you, Morrigan. I know this seems like a waste to you, but on behalf of all of us, thank you. I wouldn't have trusted the others to do it right." She studied my face for a moment, and I wondered if she thought I was mocking her. Seeing no humour on my face, she finally smiled slightly and nodded.

"'Twas nothing I couldn't handle." I smiled and turned to draw her towards the others with me. She reluctantly followed. Leliana gave me an odd look, but I couldn't help it. I felt sorry for Morrigan. She had no idea how to relate to people, knew she was disliked, and had not the first idea how to deal with it. All of her icy demeanor was a self-defense mechanism. I decided to make it my personal mission to break that down.

As we reached the group, one of the mages approached me, and I turned toward him, pushing Morrigan into the empty space beside Leliana. The mage handed me an envelope, and then slipped away before I could ask anything. I looked at it - the flap was sealed with wax, stamped with an insignia I didn't recognise. As I ripped open the envelope, I tried to preserve it to show Aedan later, just in case.

Inside the envelope was a thick piece of paper covered in neat handwritten script. I had to look at it a couple of times to understand it - no one at home uses cursive anymore! - but was able to figure out that it came from Irving. As I glanced at it, I realised what it contained was not meant for casual eyes. I folded it up, tucking it into my armpit where it wouldn't be seen, then slowly eased my way to a doorway and out. I found myself in the hallway with the library, and snuck in there to read more closely.

Lady Sierra,

I hope this finds you well. I wanted to let you know that your interest in templar history is quite natural, and no one here in the tower will think strangely of you for your research. I would love to hear what you learn, someday, and hope to meet you again in the future to discuss it.

I thought you would be interested to know that one of the mages visiting you knows more about templar history than anyone else, and can probably answer any questions you may have. I trust him completely, and will not even ask him to reveal your research to me upon his return should you choose to discuss it with him. If this is of interest to you, seek out Enchanter Tanar before they leave.

Respectfully,

Irving

Dear Irving! I realised he must have managed to keep me secret from Greagoir, and his letter was vague enough not to implicate me had it been intercepted. I may have to kiss him next time I see him.

I tucked the letter into my bra, then snuck back into the main hall hoping no one noticed my absence. I asked one of the servants if she knew which one was Enchanter Tanar, and she pointed out a slightly balding elf whose age I could not start to guess. I edged toward him, then approached the group of mages as though to thank them for their help, 'accidentally' bumping into Tanar first. I spoke with him for a few moments, making a big show of shaking his hand and looking grateful. He watched me curiously, but responded appropriately to my show of thanks. After a moment, realising no one was looking at us, I murmured to him that I would like to speak with him before he left for the Tower, and asked him to find me in the library after the noon meal. He nodded, looking confused, but I left him before anyone would notice my interest in him.

Teagan and Isolde threw a lunch feast for the mages before they sailed. The entire castle seemed to be present, celebrating Connor's 'return to health'. Apparently a rumour had been circulating that whatever had afflicted Eamon had similarly struck Connor, and everyone was subtly encouraging this to cover up the truth. The servants seemed to believe that Connor's recovery meant Eamon would also recover, and were truly celebrating.