There and Back Again Ch. 047-048

Tell Fenris his sister has been blackmailed into setting a trap for him. It's not her fault. Oh, and tell Merrill to leave the damn mirror alone. She will know what I am talking about. If she persists, her clan will perish. The ones she wishes to save are already dead, and nothing can be done to bring either of them back. Get Hawke to talk to her, if she won't listen to you.

I hope that this...decreases the tragedy you will witness over the next ten years. If you ever make it to Ferelden, seek me out with the Grey Wardens. I am not one, but I travel with some.

Maker watch over you.

Sierra Jones

I debated writing a letter specifically to Hawke, and decided to leave it until after the Blight was over. Perhaps I could even convince Anders to take it...oh bloody hell, Anders. What am I going to do about that? A problem for another day.

I still had some parchment left, so I began to make some lists. I started a small list of items we needed to buy before we left Denerim. I also made a list of odd things about my situation; for the first time since I arrived, I had time to really think about all of the things that didn't make sense about my presence here.

Let me think. First, and most obvious -- how? How did I get here, and how did my mind get to Earth in the first place if I was really meant to be born a Cousland? Where did my mind find a body to inhabit on Earth? What happened to the original occupant? Had I kicked someone else out of that body? I had to leave that one blank; I had absolutely no idea, and no amount of thinking helped.

Secondly, things that happen to my body in Thedas were mimicked on Earth. If I cut myself in Thedas, my body back there had a cut. If I got a tattoo, it showed up there. But the reverse was not -- always -- true. My broken nose, my losing my virginity, and my excess weight didn't translate to Thedas. But my laser hair removal and lack of periods did. How does that even make sense? Still no idea. And how was I able to bring items with me in my pockets, some of which persisted in Thedas even after I was dragged back? Moving right along...

Third, what happened to my Thedas body when I was back on Earth? My Earth body stayed put wherever it was when I popped over, but the body here disappeared completely. Along those lines, what happened to the body of the baby that was born here with no soul, or mind? Had it died? If not, what had Aedan's parents done with it?

Fourth, why were the intervals that I spent in Thedas increasing, and why would being upset seem to trigger me going back to Earth?

There was the obvious templar thing. How does a person from Earth with no training whatsoever suddenly end up a templar? And why do templar powers here cause electrical blackouts on Earth?

And then there was the fact that to darkspawn, I was completely invisible until I attacked them. Demons, undead, and bandits had no trouble, but somehow I was a black hole around darkspawn. How was that possible? And why me?

In addition, how the heck had David Gaider known enough about Thedas to make a video game that detailed and accurate? Had he been to Thedas as well?

At the end of my list, all I had were questions, and no possible answers. I was frustrated, and no further along than when I'd started.

I jumped and hurried to cover my lists and letters with a blank piece of parchment when I heard the door behind me opening. Sanga came in with a plate of roasted pheasant, some sort of potato thing, and some fresh fruit. I hadn't even realised it was already lunchtime. I ate alone, staring at my lists again, without any further progress. When I'd finished eating, I gathered up my papers and headed back up to my room and took yet another nap.

Chapter Forty-Eight: Overprotection

When I woke, Alistair was creeping into the room, and I startled him when I sat up. Laughing and clutching his chest, he lit a couple more candles and came in. I helped him off with his breastplate -- I could barely lift the thing, so it was a bit difficult for him to take off alone, though I knew he could manage. He told me he and Wynne had wandered the market, and he thought he had located Gorim for me. He promised to take me there with Aedan the following morning. Otherwise, Wynne had bought a few things, they had browsed the Wonders of Thedas, and then eaten lunch and come back.

"We went one other place while we were out."

"Oh?"

"You never mentioned that Goldanna was a gold-digging harridan." His tone was light, but his expression was irritated.

I sighed. "Oh, Alistair. I didn't want you to know. I figured since she wasn't actually your sister that you wouldn't have to meet her and be exposed to her shrewishness. I hoped you could keep vaguely happy memories of believing you had a sister. I'm sorry." I suddenly worried I'd have to choose whether to 'harden' him, until I realised that in this altered history, he didn't need it. He was much more confident, had less survivor's guilt, and didn't have that same urge to sacrifice himself for a cause. He wouldn't need to take the throne; he didn't need encouragement to be more selfish. I smiled.

I reached out and took his hand, and he let me. "I should have told you."

He squeezed my hand and smiled softly at me. "I love you. But would you stop trying to protect me?"

"Never. Dare I ask how much coin you gave her?"

"None, actually. You should have seen Wynne when she started moaning about mouths to feed. Besides, I didn't have that much coin on me. I left most of it here, and then between buying Wynne's supplies, and...well, anyway I didn't give her anything."

He was blushing as I encouraged him to lay down and cuddle with me on the bed, and I wondered what he wasn't saying, until he dropped a small box onto the bed between us.

"I bought you something."

"You did? Why? I mean, thank you! That sounded really ungrateful. But is there some special occasion I'm missing?"

He chuckled. "Not at all. I just wanted to."

I picked up the box nervously. "No one has ever bought me anything for no reason before."

"All the more reason for me to do it now."

I leaned in and kissed him, and then turned back to the box. Inside was a delicate silver rose pendant, complete with thorns on the stem, on a sturdy but beautiful silver chain. I stared at it, shocked. It almost exactly matched my tattoo on my Earth body. It was amazing.

I looked up to see him looking a bit anxious. "Alistair, it's...it's gorgeous! I love it. Where did you find something so beautiful?"

"There was a silversmith in the market. I saw it yesterday and had him put the clasp on it and put it on a chain. I just thought it could be like...a reminder." We shared a smile, thinking back a few weeks to when he'd given me the rose.

"I don't need a reminder, I still have that rose. It's still perfectly preserved. But I love this. It is beautiful, and you are sweet." I pulled him into a deeper kiss, then finally sat up and lifted my hair so he could put the chain around my neck. It nestled perfectly into the hollow of my throat. He stroked it with his fingers as he kissed me again, and I purred.

Pulling away once we were both breathless, he gestured to the mess of papers I had scattered on the table near the door. I reached over and grabbed them, showing them to Alistair. He read my letters, asking me more questions about Hawke and her companions in Kirkwall. I told him as much of the story as I could remember, though my memory of the second Dragon Age game was somewhat hazy -- I'd only ever played it through once, and it hadn't held the same appeal as the first. But I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't at least try to avert some of the tragedy. I avoided telling him about Anders and Justice. I wasn't sure why, but it felt like another one of those secrets that weren't mine to tell.

"Do you think Howe's son will really come back?"

"I'm not even sure I can get the letter to him. Just a name, with the address being 'the Free Marches' isn't terribly specific. And I'm not sure he could do anything if he did come back. But if he doesn't, and Aedan kills Howe, which he will, he will try to kill Aedan. I'd rather avoid that, if I can. Nate's not a bad guy. I want him to understand why his father has to pay for his actions."

He hugged me again, and then we turned to my list of weird things about Sierra. He didn't have any other ideas, but just the fact that I'd shared it with him and he hadn't run away was comforting. We lay together and just cuddled for a bit more of the afternoon before heading to the dining room together for supper. Aedan, Zev and Leli were waiting for us, all freshly bathed, and Wynne as usual had her nose buried in a book. I stepped over to her to give her an appreciative hug for protecting Alistair from Goldanna for me, and she smiled and patted my shoulder.

While we ate supper, Aedan told us about the guard schedule and floor plan information they'd managed to glean from the house Marjolaine was staying in. Zev had snuck up to peek through the windows, and they had taken turns watching the place all day. It was on the edge of the market district, pretty upscale, really, and quite well guarded, though they'd found a few holes in the security to exploit. They planned to take her down the following afternoon, when the guards switched and one usually left to get the others their meals.

That was when the fight began.

Aedan insisted that I stay at the Pearl while they took care of Marjolaine. Leliana and Alistair agreed, to my annoyance.

"Sierra, you know how you feel about fighting people. If you go in there, at minimum you're going to have to watch us do it, and if things go poorly you may even have to fight. I don't want your guilt on my hands."

"Aedan, you're going to be facing at least two mages in there. Alistair can't handle both, and besides he'll be busy swinging that big shield of his around. I can stay out of the melee, but at least let me neutralize one of the mages. I promise I'll leave once it's done. But I'm not staying here to worry about you all when I could help. It's bad enough when you guys are doing Chanter's board stuff or working with Sergeant Kylon."

"Sierra..."

"Forget it, Aedan."

Leliana, in desperation, tried to drag Zevran into it. "You haven't chimed in yet, what do you think, Zev? Sierra should stay here and be safe, no?"

"I don't know about that, oh most beauteous bard."

I gave him a grateful smile, but Aedan gave an indignant squawk and I knew there would be problems between them later. I tried to save Zev from himself, but he just kept talking.

"Things are only going to get more difficult from here. Between Loghain, and Howe, and the dwarves, and miles of Deep Road...it can't but help to have Sierra actually battle-ready, since you have said it's impossible to leave her behind. I think she needs to be given a chance, in a real fight. Even if she just stands back and neutralizes a mage. It's not that we can't do it without her -- we are ridiculously awesome, after all -- but we shouldn't."

I was impressed at his succinct summary of the situation. And of course, he was right; they wouldn't always be able to protect me. Not that I was some sort of blood-thirsty idiot; I was still nauseous when I thought about trying to actually stab a real person with my daggers, but if I was going to be stuck in this world -- if I wanted to be stuck in this world -- I had to learn to live in it.

Alistair had the good sense to keep his mouth shut during the discussion. I knew he'd want me to stay out of it, but he knew better than to openly say it, at least where I could hear.

"Aedan. Stop protecting me. You have to let me live, too. I'll stay in the next room. But I'm coming."

Very reluctantly he nodded, and I sighed. Big brothers can be a total pain in the ass! I smiled.

"So we go meet Gorim in the morning, Marjolaine in the afternoon...maybe drop by and see how Wade is coming with our armour in between?"

Everyone agreed. Dinner finished, Wynne decided to stay and read. Leliana planned to go play some more music in the common room -- apparently Sanga had even offered to pay her to do it; Aedan and Zevran made noises about going to their room, but given they were the only ones still in armour, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that they were going skulking around the city. I worried, but knew there was nothing I could do. And of everyone I'd ever met, those two could take care of themselves.

Alistair and I were left, and we decided to head to our room. I think he realised I needed a distraction from worrying about Aedan. He kissed my neck while I unlocked the door, and I tried to relax. We were still in that slightly awkward stage where we knew we wanted each other naked at every possible opportunity, but were too embarrassed to just go ahead and do it, so we stood looking at each other and avoiding eye contact for a painful few moments. Finally I cleared my throat, desire winning over fear.

"So. You said that you would do anything I asked. Did I hear that right? Anything?" I smiled a smug, wicked grin.

Alistair's pout was cute. "Yes, I did. I get the feeling I'm going to regret that, though. Am I?"

My grin widened. "No, I don't think you will." I moved close to him, and then went up on tiptoes and whispered in his ear. "What I'm going to ask of you is easy. All I want you to do is just stand still. You can do that, right? Just don't move unless I specifically ask you to. Easy."

His quiet groan sent a bolt of desire shooting through me. This is going to be fun. I positioned him, standing in the middle of the room, feet slightly spread. He crossed his arms, somewhat self-conscious, but I reached out and made him drop them. I spent a few moments just walking around him, in a circle, admiring my prize. As always, I was struck by how unbelievably gorgeous he was. Part of me wanted to rush it, to have him take me and push me down onto the bed, but I resisted. I was planning on making this night special. He fidgeted slightly as I stared at him.

"Tsk, tsk. Already moving? You keep doing that and I'll have to find a way to punish you." My naughty grin made him groan again. I could see the bulge in the front of his trousers and licked my lips lasciviously.

Done staring, I moved closer, reaching one hand out to trail a finger across one of his collar bones and down the centre of his chest lightly. His jaw clenched, but otherwise he held still, so I added my other hand. Systematically I stroked his chest, his shoulders, his back, his firm stomach. I kept my touch light, teasing, and watched him struggle not to thrash when I tickled somewhere sensitive. I verbalised a commentary of what I was doing, describing each tantalising body part as I touched it.

He opened his mouth to reply, but I silenced him with a finger and a look. Moving around to his front, I leaned in close and licked his neck softly. I slowly unbuttoned the shirt, pulling it back to kiss and lick the newly bared skin with each step. Finally the shirt was open completely, and I pushed it off his shoulders, letting it fall to puddle at his feet.

His upper body was cut, not like the body builders from Earth but almost. He had firm, ropey muscles running across his shoulders, down his biceps and his chest. Now bare, I ran my fingers across them again, following behind with my lips and tongue. I teased him with soft licks and kisses, ran my fingers through his sparse blond chest hair, and enjoyed the feeling of his muscles tensing where I touched. Happy with my examination of his chest, I moved behind him and did the same with his back and shoulder blades. His breath came a little more shallowly as I licked and kissed the points of his shoulder blades and traced his spine with my fingers.

Moving back in front of him, I looked up to meet his gaze as I slowly leaned forward and licked a nipple. He gasped and twitched slightly, and I grinned and did it again, then switched sides. I'd never paid much attention to the little firm bumps before, and they were apparently extremely sensitive. The bulge I could feel now against my belly enlarged and pulsed slightly with every tongue swipe. Curious, I sucked on one nipple and gently allowed my teeth to close over it; I was rewarded with a hiss and him losing control enough to raise him arms before catching himself and lowering them to his sides, fists now clenched as well. His next breath was ragged, and I repeated the motion on the other nipple with much the same effect.

Unable to wait anymore, I slipped around behind him again. Moving quietly, I grabbed the hem of my dress and pulled it over my head; my bra shortly joined it on the floor, and I moved closer to Alistair, my arms encircling his waist from behind, and I pressed my breasts against his bare back. When he groaned I knew he could feel my nipples on his skin, and I spent a few moments teasing us both by rubbing them against him. Kissing his back, I reached down and slowly unlaced the front of his trousers. My fingers bumped against his erection, and it throbbed in response. I chuckled darkly, my voice hoarse with arousal.

Laces undone, I slowly eased his trousers off his hips. I slid down his back, keeping my skin in contact with his, kissing his back as I sank. My nipples scraped down his bare skin until they came into contact with his smallclothes, my mouth still licking and kissing his lower back. Once on my knees, I sat back a bit and pushed his trousers the rest of the way down, demanding he lift each foot in turn so I could throw them into the pile with the rest of our clothes. I ran my hands down his thighs, tense with arousal, the muscles standing out. I kissed the skin just above the band of his smallclothes, and he muttered a curse under his breath. In punishment, I opened my mouth and took a small bite of the skin on his ass through the thin fabric. He gasped and jerked, so I gripped his hips and did it again on the other side. The single curse became a string of prayers and curse words all jumbled together, and I smiled smugly at my accomplishment.

I trailed my lips down the back of one thigh, then licked the sensitive skin behind his knee; he almost fell as he jumped, and I grinned and repeated it on the other side. Satisfied, I stood and moved around to his front. His eyes were dark with desire, pupils enormous, and his gaze raked across my nearly naked body. I wriggled out of my panties, struggling against my shyness to expose myself totally to him. I stepped up to his front, again teasing his skin with the hard points of my nipples, and we both moaned softly. I pulled his head down for an intense kiss, then released him to slap his eager hands away.

"Now now, not so fast! I'm not done with you."

He groaned again, which switched to a gasp as he felt my fingers slip inside the waistband of his smalls. I gently peeled them away from his throbbing erection, allowing them to slide down his legs, finally leaving him naked. I licked my lips as I stared at the firm pole of glistening flesh that was pointing at me. I slowly sank to my knees again, feeling him shudder as his length was briefly captured in the valley between my breasts. I kissed down his belly then detoured to gently bite into the skin of his hip, triggering another gasp. My hands stroked the front of his thighs, and I could feel him trembling.

I leaned back and examined his erection, his crown purple, foreskin already pulled back, slit oozing clear fluid. His heavy sac was hanging underneath, light fuzz obscuring nothing. I licked my lips again, then, bracing my hands on his thighs, leaned forward to dart my tongue out and taste the clear fluid. I contemplated the taste for a moment -- salty, as expected, but not unpleasant -- and then tried again. Alistair's legs were trembling more.