by jsmt
I stopped reading on the first page, because of all of the English grammar errors. I can read thru a lot usually. This was too horrendous. I suggest that you use an editor next time.
good story i understand it ok but man she only fingered herself and gave a blow job in 9 pages damn man need more sex for sure........
Protagonist developed especially well, both through inner monologue and the gradualness of the changes brought about by plot circumstances. Face it, most of the mouth-breathers on this site aren't really interested in plot, character development, voice, etc. They want half a page of semi-erotic spank material. Some of us find it refreshing to read something with craft and substance though so, thanks!
5 well deserved stars :)
The concept of these snobby girls losing their fancy clothes,
status, boyfriends and future for humiliation, degradation
and a cage of poverty is hot. Stay focused on the attitudes,
give detail on tangibles like clothes, piercings, tattoos and let us
enjoy the sweet suffering of an intelligent young woman
trapped in an erotic life of tawdry sin.
Such a hot story, can't wait to see where this goes. Please write more soon!
Great story, even with the typos. How much longer til she 1) accidentally posts her nude video online without blocking her face; 2) is tricked into starring in a porno herself?
The lack of strength in the english language can be overlooked because you were obviously trying. Typographical errors make it hard to follow a story, but I didn't find myself working too hard to get past them.
That said, I found the storyline very erotic. The inner dialogue and slow progression really gave the reader time to empathize with the protagonist. That there was so little sexual contact didn't bother me because I found it more titillating to watch her de-evolution.
Excellently done and I really hope that you drop the next super-long installment on us before the week is over.
Part 2 as soon as possible please.
Pay no heed to the nay Sayers, just keep the submissions flowing
I had to keep telling myself that English was your 2nd (3rd) language but once I got past that I was VERY impressed with your original and exciting concept. Maybe you could get assistance from one of the site's editors. Keep it up!
The second part of this story was rejected by the editors of Literotica. They want me to make some fixes.
As a matter of fact I posted chapter 2 three weeks ago, but unfortunately I had been traveling since then, so it was impossible to me to edit the chapter. Now I am home, but I am still trying to find the time to do the required fixes, and really don't know when they will be ready.
If you don't want to wait, you may use the "send feedback" link to drop me a line and I will send you back the second part. Be sure to include your email otherwise I won't be able to answer it. Sorry for the inconvenience but for now is the only thing that I can do.
She's a cum laude student and her thesis topic assigned is the psychology of porn stars? Are her professors trying to sabotage her? Despite the successes of studies like the Kinsey report, sexual psychology studies, especially those with no clinical application are not viewed with the greatest respect in the profession. More than likely, a thesis along this lines would not forward a graduating collegians chances of netting a high profile job. It seems to me Lillian could have put forth a far more cogent argument against being essentially forced to take on a thesis that would hobble her post graduation employment prospects by labeling her a clinician lacking in serious focus.
The story itself was fairly well-written, but the author, for committing the sin of making what should be an intelligent, focused woman an idiot earns only 3 stars for the effort.
I've only read first 2 parts yet. I will read all. It's so good. It's so just me. I can like totally feel like I am that girl. It could so be me. And it make me so wet I love you!
Lena
Well written story! cant wait to find out how this continues! So much potential.
Decipline at work, the pressure of school and at home.. i can imagine her beeing naked all the time everywhere
I Totally agree also.. I hope .. one day... you pick up this story and continue this gem of a story.
*note: if there was anything off with the grammar.. i was too much into the story to even notice.. *
Really needs to come with a disclaimer: "needlessly long and boring as fuck".
Thank you for re-posting your stories. They are always a fun read.
Do you have other stories outside of literotica? All I know is this story was incredible. I am praying you continue on with it.
I love that she kept losing status, but also kept clinging to whatever little scraps of hope she had left, which forces her to do things that cause her to lose status even more...
wonderfully written!!!
Nobody EVER picks their thesis topic from a sealed envelope. Ludicrous mode.
The forced thesis topic is just a plot device to put the protagonist out of her comfort zone. I know that sometimes Clark Kent’s glasses ruin our suspension of disbelief more than a flying alien, but I hope that you may still enjoy the rest of the story.
That said, let me tell you that I am not from the USA and I graduated many, many years ago, but for exceptional circumstances, I didn’t get to chose my thesis topic. I tried to fight and do not use the topic that my University “suggested” but soon realized that given the circumstances, it would have meant losing valuable weeks to get my proposed topic approved, so I took the pragmatic choice and worked on the project that my University had “suggested”. It was the same case for the rest of my class. I would have rather be drafted from a sealed envelope because I liked more some of my classmates’ assigned topics.
I don’t remember exactly why my University did that, and as much as I know they never did that again. I used the fear-of-plagiarism-scandal motivation based on a news story around the time I began to write this story (Probably something about a German Minister) to give the unusual procedure some credibility (Maybe not enough :)).
Still, being forced into a thesis topic that appealed more to my University than to me was a learning experience; in real life, before you get to work on the projects you like, you have to successfully prove yourself worthy on projects that you don’t really care about.
Slow start, but good character and motivation development. Poor editing mars an otherwise good story.