- BDSM
- Third Date
- Page 2
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"Fuck me Thun, please fuck me Master"
God I love hearing that. Never stop saying that.
Fuck I'm so hard right now, like really right now.
I force your wrists to your side, so I can move your legs up. Knees back, legs in air, pussy exposed. I love watching you when I use my dick on your clit. I release your wrists, so I can slide my cock up and down your slit, pausing at the top and pushing it into your clit, moving it back and forth, pressing in hard. Then sliding it down your slit, teasing you, pausing at the entrance, pushing in ever so slightly.
"Please Master, please put it in, let me feel you, let me make you cum"
I press your knees into you and slam my cock into you, hard, so fucking hard. Ugh, UGH UGH. Fuck yeah. You are pulling your legs back so I can go deeper into you, so fucking deep, so fucking hard. Ughh, Ughgh, Roar, fuck yes, I move forward to get a better angle, and now I can reach your throat. I grab your throat with one hand and gently squeeze. You gasp as you know what is coming next. You can feel my hand on your throat, pressing it closed, while I'm slamming into you, ugh, ugh, ugh, my grunts in unison with my cock going deep into you. I press harder on your throat, you can't breathe now. 10 seconds, 15 seconds, 20 seconds, no air, just the feeling of having your sweet pussy stuffed with cock. Your sweet pussy eagerly clamping down on me. I'm fucking all of my hatred into you, all of my anger, all of my pain. Ugh, ugh, ugh. Fuck yes, fuck yes, fuck , UGH.
Enough of this, your knees are blocking your titties. I want titties. Want NOW! I roll you onto your side. One leg pulled up so I can get maximum depth. I pull your arms together, behind you and use my right hand to hold them both, using my grip to pull you into me. Your left tit is exposed, so soft and squishy, so pale and white and warm. I reach in to caress it, to pinch it, to rub your nipple, to feel the top, the bottom, the sides, to rub it all around, my god it's beautiful, you are so beautiful. It feels so good burying my cock into you. Love to watch your tit jiggle in my hand, soft warm hand. Listening to you moan as you get fucked and pinched. Listen to you whimper and gasp.
Feels so good, but I have so much hate... so much hate. I put you on your stomach, you know what I want, so you bring your knees up, ass in the air, head down, you're resting on your elbows, pussy dripping wet. You bring a hand back and slide it into your slit for me, letting me watch you slide a finger into you, then bringing it back into your mouth, letting me watch you suck your finger. You reach back again, spreading your pussy lips for me, letting me see the pinkness, the wetness of your private region. "This is for you Master, only you. Please fuck me... Please make me your fuck beast... Please..." you whimper the last words.
I slam my cock into you. Over and over. Harder and harder, fuck yes. Your hand still at your pussy, so you can feel my rock hard cock slam into you. Feel it, fuck yeah, feel it.
Ah, Ah, Ah, oh god yes, feel it, fuck yes, oh god, fuck fuck fuck
I'm pumping you with all my might, slamming into you, grinding my cock deeper into you. You move your hand away, so I can watch you play with your tits - they jiggle and wobble as I slam into you over and over and over. I'm fucking all my hate into you. You move your hand to your clit and rub it, so fast, so hard, I can feel your body start to convulse. Do it, do it, cum on my cock, do it. You're rubbing so hard, so fast, your whole body is shaking. I can't stand it anymore, I'm only human, I want to cum inside you so hard, fuck fuck fuck, ugh ugh ugh, slamming into you, fuck, oh god, yes yes yes fuck yes, UGHGGHGHGH, UUUUGGGHHGHGHG, UGGHHGHGHGh, UUGHGH, ugh ugh ugh UGGHGGGGGHghh fuck yes, oh my god, I fucking cum inside you with savage lust. Fuck yes, hot cum pumping into you, ugh ugh ugh, the feeling of my cum pumping inside you is just what you need to finish off. Your fingers on your magic button, my cum pumping into you, you buck and orgasm, shudder, shake, spasm, fuck fuck fuck - watching you cum is so fucking hot, especially when I'm inside you.
"Oh god, fuck yes, fuck yes, say my name, say it."
You manage to gasp out, "Fuck Thunder, fuck me Thun, fuck yes, fuck me Thunder."
I slowly pull my cock out of you, watching you continue to spasm. My cock dripping with our juices. I move up to your mouth, I love it when you taste us. So fucking hot. Long tongue strokes on my cock, gently sucking gently licking gently moaning, love watching your throat move as you swallow. My cock thouroughly cleaned, I slide down next to you, kiss you hard, hand on your throat - you are still mine, and I want to taste our juices too. Tastes so good, fuck yes. Fuck yes.
We move into the 2 person sleeping bag, spooning, cuddling, holding, touching, and breathing. I stroke your hair, your cheek, your arm, your side, your ass, your leg. You are so beautiful, so pale and warm. Like an angel.
You drift off to sleep as I caress you, keep you safe, make you feel special and loved.
As I continue to touch you, hold you, press my body into you, you notice a sudden stirring. As if something is growing behind you, pressing into you....
But that's a story for another time...
- COMMENTS
Thegirl84almost 11 years agoAs you well know I am a big fan of your writings! :)
Thunderdragon99almost 11 years agoAuthorThanks for commenting! Redyellowgo I'd be really interested in your sentence structure comments and how to let the reader unload. I did contact one editor, but I'm not really sure how long I should wait to contact another or if it's ok to just spam a couple. Also I wish that there was a "Last active" date for the editors.
FA_JF - it's a magic tent :D I'll try to work on indicating which dragons are present. I didn't realize the tags were at the end. Sorry about the bra :D. I never even thought about them much until I saw /r/bigboobproblems.
redyellowgoalmost 11 years agoI was working on this...and its all about Jared Padalecki's body esp after returning from hell w/o his soul in the push up scene just b/4 his hooker from the bar leave the hotel room, holy shit!
Ok so I think after reading both stories that I am starting to understand your style. You are a dark angry guy, but for a lot of men sex needs to be raw. There was many and I mean many sentences and words that would have been removed or re-worked w/an editor. There are many here available to you. Your have writing skills. You need polish and to consider the reader, that well, just might not get it, if you know what I mean. The idea that you can lead a horse to water but can not make it drink.
They met on line, there is a lot of fear connected with those hook ups. That said one might consider that these people did speak about it but at the tent scene it almost became a noncon/relt piece instead of BDSM. A gentle comment that she wanted to be taken or she said she wanted to be taken would have been enough. And with all the fluffy you gave in the beginning why did you not say anything about her being with someone else or someone hurting her? There was all this raw emotions and heavy thought provoking words and no way for the reader to "unload" them in their minds, as you pounded away your feelings.
Oh and what FA_JF said about the bra thing. This shit is expensive and depending on your size extremely hard to find even at specialty shops, ie that does not mean Vic's Secret, no size selection for large breast there. There's a reason you get tied up after you strip.
I'll try to point out what I meant on your sentence structure in an email to you via your contact info w/in the next 48hrs. I do want more from you. You are just tipping the scale of blood/knife play and though there is an audience for that I personally believe that you will not get many comments for it and when you do it will either be really negative or all for it, saying 'yea cut the bitch' type stuff = too far. And if every story is similar to each other than you will have strong devoted fans but only a small few.
FA_JFalmost 11 years agoYou get automatic points for the Supernatural shout out and the fact that Mr. Ackles totally melts my butter, too. (Of course, while I am already drooling, I will say Mr. Padalecki is no slouch either.)
The technical and style aspects of your writing are very strong. His POV was the best choice for this story. Having his thoughts made it much more than a straight telling of the action could have done. You gave us an understanding that these two had some knowledge of each other from their net contact. That was important. I still worry about all this anger, young Jedi..... . It was at least less intense and mostly harnessed. That made for a more enjoyable tale without neutering you.
Where can one order a tent line that? I know the poles in mine couldn't do that.:)
Because I usually end up mentally in stories...my squicks ( and I know they are mine and not everyone's). Any kind of impeding of breathing and use of blades-can't even call those play. And as an extra issue, I would so loose that loving feeling if you cut up my bra. I can't buy Walmart cheapies. They have structural engineering and cost real money. I was in pain during that! Seriously, it is helpful to add author notes at the start about significant themes or actions which may bother folks. Tags at the end are too late for most readers. If you can give readers a "here be dragons" warning without spoiling some great plot device, it is appreciated by many of us.
This was very much more enjoyable to me. Acknowledging my issues are my own, I give this one 5*.
Thunderdragon99almost 11 years agoAuthorLike it? Hate it? I'm trying to improve, so any comments appreciated.
