All Comments on 'This is Wrong... Pt. 01'

No real character development, not depth of character, no build up to anything and then ended with nothing developed and no feeling for characters. Start over and put some EFFORT into your writing. Now rated *, WITH EFFORT AND WORK COULD BE A *****.

If you can't do any better don't waste you time

Okay the characters are asian, you described them...why do we care? If it's only because they are "exotic" ,than you need to look at character development to understand what makes a good story. Even the average porn movie tends to have a little more development.

Keep trying and developing. You at least had the courage to post, something which many others never do.

i read this story before and it wasn't the same players

just clicked thru to give u 5 stars just for the title!

the asshole annony!

Ended on a strange note though.