All Comments on 'Thorn Ch. 19-22'

I was feeling guilty for not posting quicker and have now seen a few mistakes in this - I will post a corrected version soon.

Hope you still enjoy the story

JM

Loved hearing the wedding details, and the snippets of the future from the aunts. I'm so glad that Luna is finally starting to come into her own. Lots of great stuff in this chapter, thanks!

Absolutely amazing series so far. Honestly if you added more fluff to make the chapters a bit longer you could sell this. The only thing I haven't completely loved has been the sex scenes. But only because of how many there were in suck a short space of time. I kept finding myself wanting to skip past them so I could get back to the story like.

-bullshark524

Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I agree totally on the intense number of sex scenes at one point but felt the need to show the initial sexual frenzy of the mating, that side of things of course now eases off ... well until a heat cycle I guess ... strangely enough "too much sex" has been a common comment on earlier chapters and surprised me on Lit. but now I think it is the lack of spacing more than the sex scenes themselves ... hopefully I am on the right track. An anonymous feedback I received when asking for advice said there wasn't enough interaction between Luna & Thorn and the minor characters - I'm hoping this balance continues to improve also however am hoping to write Gem's, Kate's and maybe Rose's story separately so think that giving too much of their stories away now will kill that ??? I'm also working on finding ways to add more "fluff" and depth without just adding more dialogue ... this I am still struggling with ... just like this story I am a work in progress :-)

JM

Sorry for the delay. I am moving in a few weeks so life is hectic. The submission is not the end of Thorn and Luna's story but the one after that will be. However the good or bad news (depending on if you like my work or not) is I have already started on the story of one of Luna's friends. Of course Luna and Thorn will appear in any stories I write about the pack :-)

JM