All Comments on 'Three Square Meals Ch. 015'

I enjoyed writing this chapter, I hope it was as much fun to read!

I flew through reading this chapter, it was enthralling!

And now for some feedback, it really seems it was more luck then preparation (running low on ammo and the TFMC coming on time).

1. I don't think you need to expand the harem anymore

2. More personal development - John's extreme force and origins, Calara (nothing forces wise yet? ), Sparks (it the pupils a clue??)

3. Action - like I said this chapter flew by, and the sex part was good but not them main focus (as should in a GOOD story be when reaching #15 and counting)

4. Ease off on the 4 people army motive and maybe add some other regular (meaning not bedmates) character? maybe add other ships to the fleet? again I personally don't like "too perfect, all lucky" characters for too long.

And last thanks for sharing this vision and what an output you have!

To see and read another AMAZING story just, simply, made my day. This chapter was as enthralling and exhilarating as those gone before if not more so. I congratulate you on what was once more a great chapter and wait with eager anticipation to read what will unfold in the future.

Yeah this is the longest chapter so far. I really wanted to complete the scene with Sparks though and didn't want to leave that half way through for the next chapter.

John and Alyssa had a lot of ammo with them, but they got a bit excited blowing through entire clips on the bosses.

It actually wasn't that close run a thing, there were loads of Neutron weapons scattered around from the fallen Kirrix, but I took a little artistic license for dramatic purposes. I hope I didn't ruin your sense of disbelief too much.

I'm just submitting chapter 16 now. Its the big showdown with the pirates, so lots more action, then I'll wind things down a little for a breather.

Glad you're enjoying it. :)

Thank you for another excellent chapter!

It is the longest chapter so far, but while reading it felt like the shortest.

Can't wait for chapter 16.

Enjoying the story, keep at it!

Yet another great story. This was one of the best chapters yet. I would suggest you stop expanding the harem and maybe start expanding johns origins story( like what happened to his parents and what alien species his father was) until then I look forward to your next installment

Lol,

I had to think about the previous comment because I know I would start to get scared of being fucked to death with three cum crazy cuties, but I suspect that John is made of much more durable sinews, so dogpile him!

You run the risk of too many characters to keep track of with a dozen babes but otherwise put the F in Fantasy, and make it a bigger happy family! I weep with each touching moment that the girls provide, but not from my eyes.

Lucky motherless bastard...

John is one of the best vicariously fucking heroic lives I could imagine. No. He is better than I could imagine. I like that. If John can handle more young female friends, then so can I!

"John is one of the best vicariously fucking heroic lives I could imagine. No. He is better than I could imagine. I like that."

and that was my aim all along. That's the real point of this story.

No-one has mentioned it yet, but I never define exactly what John looks like in any way, other than his height and being a bit muscular. My hope was always that the male reader (which I suspected might be the majority) could imagine themselves being in his position, obvious physical endowments aside!

I'm glad you're enjoying it. ;)

I like that your characters feel special, but the Mary Sue nature means that there's no drama when they have a confrontation. Take on 20 pirate ships with only a single vessel? No problem. Board a huge alien vessel and kill everything without hardly taking a scratch, but the backup marines have several dead and wounded from the mop-up fight? You know it! What's next? The crew of the Invictus take on the whole Terran Empire and defeat all foes before lunch? I could totally see that being written.

Hope the next chapter is asap I think this story can go on for lots more chapters, I hope.

I completely get your concerns Synapsis, but I still have a feeling that it is worth sticking around to find out what the hell is happening. There are plenty of clues that there is something going on that makes their success possible.

I see I'm a bit late with review (as usual apparently). When it comes to Sparks's scar tissue - I actually saw that coming, which means you did it well! I will agree with several other comments, and I said that long ago : don't try to add any more girls in John's harem, because it is EXTREMELY hard to write when there are many people. Don't add any more unless you're absolutely sure that you can write it, which I advise against; even professional novelists have problems with having too many protagonists.

The fight was believable, and that's what matters! It flows nicely, no hitches, and with experience it will only grow better, so don't rush it. I like the depiction of Kirrix. Very alien and arthropod-like, with queen, king, and warriors. The Hivelord... that one was a bit weird: a male laying eggs? I understand these creatures are alien and their biology functions differently, though, but it was just a bit weird - that's what I'm saying. No species on earth does that (by default if it lays eggs, it's a female). You do have an option of editing a chapter if I'm not mistaken: all you'd have to do is to replace the roles of the broodmother and hivelord - so that hivelord is the big-ass dangerous warrior that protects the larvae, while the broodmother is the one implanting eggs in human victims. That one is more believable.

Concerning the Kirrix shuttle they captured - I wonder if Sparks could find a way to reverse engineer and rig some tech into Invictus, only if it is superior to what they have.

Now, here is an issue I had in this chapter. I usually refuse to be a grammar nazi, but in this case I just have to, because you write well, and I'd like to see you have good syntax with it. It's about hangar bays. HANGAR BAYS. You write it as "HANGER". Notice the difference in "A" vs "E"? HANGER (the word you used) is something you hang your clothes on. A HANGAR is a building or allocated space in which you store aircraft, spacecraft, or similar vehicles. Advice: when in doubt use oxforddictionary-dot-com.

Other than that, I have nothing else to say; good or bad. Great chapter!!!

Well, that's it from me.

Synapsis: If they had gone toe-to-toe in a knock down fight will all 20 pirate vessels, they would have been taken out in about 2-3 salvos. Attacking the pirates piecemeal allowed them to face small groups at a time. I mentioned earlier in the comments about the relative power of the different ships, but corvettes and frigates are only armed with laser cannons. When the Invictus can take them out at beam laser range before they can fire, the fights *are* going to be hugely one sided affairs. I submitted chapter 16 a couple of days ago, so that should be up soon. Hopefully that will show the relative power a bit more clearly.

I can see your point though and I don't want to do anything too stupid and try to keep it at least semi grounded in common sense. Chapter 17, which I've just about finished, sheds a little bit more light on why they have been so successful.

I didn't intend for the ground combats to seem quite as one sided as you make out, but the reality is that John is a hard bitten special forces vet and Alyssa is greatly superior to regular troopers due to her "enhancements". Present era surprise assaults by special forces teams are massively one sided affairs and they cut through irregular or regular forces like a knife through butter.

Anyway that's my reasoning behind the fights, hope it makes it a bit clearer.

To Mr Anonymous:

Glad Sparks getting healed didn't come out of the blue. I threw a few clues in there, so I'm glad you spotted them.

Interesting comments about the growing harem, i'll bear it in mind.

I won't delve into Kirrix biology much more in the story, so I'll expand on it here as you've expressed an interest. The broodmother grows the eggs in her body, and then "lays" them inside an orifice on the back of the Hivelord. It's body fertilises the eggs in the transparent segment on its back and then it uses the ovipositor to insert the "activated" eggs into a host, where they are incubated before finally hatching and eating their way out as grubs. At least that's how I envisaged them when I came up with the idea for the species.

I'd absolutely love to be able to edit previous stories as there's a bunch of typos and mistakes that I'd like to correct. I've searched around but can't find any way to do it.

Apologies for the Hanger and Hangar cockup. My vocabulary is pretty good, but in this case I didn't realise there was a difference. A cool guy contacted me a short while ago and has been editing for me on 16 and 17. He picked up the Hangar mistake in Ch 16, so its corrected from then on, as well as sorting out my ropey punctuation within quotation marks... thanks man!

Concerning the Kirrix shuttle... Ch16.

loving it....cant wait for more... :) How come you have not mentioned the growing telepathic link with the others???

U are one of my favorite writers on this site, currently only have 2. 10/10 would read over again.

I found out how to submit edits! Yay!

I can now go back and clean up a few slip ups, so that's great.

I've submitted 16 and 17 now, 16 is just awaiting moderation, so that should be published shortly.

I go into the telepathy stuff a bit more in ch 17. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten! :)

As always, its been really nice to receive such positive feedback. Thanks!

I find myself more interested in the story and characters than the sex. That's rare with most SciFi submissions on Literotica so please keep the chapters coming.

I agree with anymouse [sic] I get so deep into the excellent sci fi plot [which I luv] and then Fall head over heels back into the orgys! Only great storytellers can make ya forget the other plot then spring it back ! Really loving it Tefler

hot!

You are reading a Science Fantasy erotic story about a guy with a massive dick and four balls that is 40 years old with 3x 18 year old lovers. Yet Cervix penetration is to much for you.

Some chapters ago you had James notice Sparks's hymen.

I had waited with bated-breath for your description of how he would "gently" relieve her of this obstruction.

I guess this got lost in the greater story scope.

My obsession lost. Pretty tough to write up well, so perhaps best left out.

This difficulty was the reason for my anticipation.

... the erotic scene with Sparks was so well done; lose the nitpickers. But, cannot be blamed for looking forward to getting back to the plot -- it is so absorbing in the epic.

I have been reading since post 15, didn't make any comments, because none were needed. Can't wait for the next installment...keep it up!

Great storyteller. Started at Chapter 1 and can't put it down!

I 've really enjoyed all the adventure and sex-more the fucking than the shoot-outs. I guess it's no co-incidence that all the women are young, sexy and blonde, brunette and redheaded. I guess it would take a guy with 4 balls to keep them all satisfied. Looking forward to more. Keep writing.

Just a delicious chapter. Had it all. Action, adventure, love. So glad I went back to re-read the story. I am enjoying it just as much if not more. Thank you. Dawn

Sheesh! Some people are neeever happy... oh no... an epic writer writes an incredible sci-fi masterpiece for free... and they have to complain about something don't they. If sex is boring then congratulations you are an eunuch.

"they passed a couple of cleaning robots who had stopped at the pile of Kirrix corpses"

I love these little touches for the cleaning bots you put in every once in a while. They are fun. I wonder if they are leading anywhere? Dancing in the ragged edge of spoilers I also wonder who is in charge of them and their prioritization.

Second time reading this series (up to chapter 82, so I'm not up to date on the latest events), and I just had sudden brainwave. Admittedly, it's a crazy idea, but if things get dire enough, it might make for a pretty interesting development.

With the amount of expertise and resources the gang manages to gather later in the story, creating an artificial incubation system for the Kirrix in exchange for an alliance might actually be a pretty decent idea. It'd stop a dangerous threat from preying on other species, while at the same time getting access to a not-insignificant amount of manpower, technology, and resources.

Tgis is the second time reading through the series. I still love it.

On the kirrix ship the story kind of skips over what happened to the 3 people that were being implanted with eggs by the broodmare. I hadnt been implanted. 1 was in process og being implanted and the other was, well screwed. Wgen the prisioners are released we dont read anything more about them. Its possibly an area you could further develop in a later edit. Even if its a short conversation between john and alyssia about what is going to happen to the ones with eggs. Given that there is a plot line later on what happens with implanted people (sry no spoilers).

Great work

Just a point of physics. Neutrons can make great weapons because they pass through material without damaging it (mostly) but will kill cells. As a result, body armor would be useless. So if you were say, shot in the side with one, all of the cells where the beam hit would die. However, the recipient would not feel a thing so they would not hurt, until the area became infected or caused further organ failure (colin stops working, etc.) However one blast could disable an arm, a leg was disabled stop the heart or kill (headshot).

Where did the kirrix get the money to pay the pirates. How'd they even broker the deal w/o one side immediately killing the other?

when the neutrons go at a speed they tend to ionize and the real radiation is not the neut but the plasma ions hitting

80% story, 20% sex, instead of the other way around, thank you

I found the 2 of them being able to storm a 900m long warship and somehow not just get immediately slaughtered to be so unbelievable it ruined the chapter. (For reference a Nimitz class aircraft carrier is 330m long and has a crew of 6,000.) I know they wanted to rescue the prisoners, but realistically it would have been completely impossible even with the help of a few dozen marines, so much so that even attempting it was absolutely idiotic. Any rational person would have disabled the ship then attempted to negotiate a surrender or waited for more help to arrive.

Also, bullpup is a type of gun (one where the action is behind the trigger group resulting in a shorter overall weapon length without sacrificing barrel length), not a type of magazine.

New girl is gonna have to have raven black hair, to keep the pattern going...

Another ruined slave who takes up arms against the pirates or maybe a disillusioned pirate who helps them from inside a ship when she sees the chance? Gonna have to be a fighter in either case. Maybe a mech pilot, if they have those?

Size mismatch ...

Is no match for tactical advantage and superior speed. It was a close thing thou. 😬😰 Great descriptive action, with more scenes to come. Can't wait. On to the next chapter

Sparks 10 year old scarring comes off in the shower, with lots of fresh silky smooth skin underneath. Then they watch John take her anal virginity (on a bed with rose petals no less! ). I think Tef is a romantic at heart! :-) TTFN

I've been wondering what the Kirrex adults and higher order bugs eat. We know what grubs consume but not the rest.

I would like to take a big spoon of grease and brush it over this chapter.

what do kirrix eat as adults? and since when do insects have knees, etc.

Lots of Action scenes in this chapter and finishing the final part of the chapter with the devirginizing of a 'healed' Sparks... this one had it all, no one should have any complaints... Thank you Tef! Good job there with those rose petals, you romantic you! ;-) TTFN

Perhaps in fantasy a penis will enter the cervix, but I'm real life the cervix remains tight shut, while the vaginas can expand to accommodate the penis which passes behind the uterus.

Love this story.so who is the next girl, a Lizard girl.

Great fight scenes, and loved the rest.

I feel like a grumpy old man sometimes in the comment section (especially since I don’t see the author chiming in on these early chapters on the more recent comments), but if feel obliged to point this out…

They attack a heavily armed Kirrix hive ship, fend off a boarding party & capture the Kirrix dropship, and John lets Alyssa just climb aboard and fly the thing with no thought about it being remotely recalled to the mothership or keyed to alien DNA or anything? Then, in the middle of the battle, open the cargo bay doors and let Alyssa fly the drop ship in, even though it would clearly be opening a gap in the shields the Kirrix could target. Then, after parking the dropship in the cargo bay, decide to fly it back to the Kirrix hive ship without any thought that the Kirrix might have seen them fly it into the cargo bay, no knowledge of the correct Kirrix return protocol, and a massively overwhelming force on board the hive ship.

No matter how confident they are all feeling, and no matter how good they are, this is very implausible. Still entertaining, but my suspension of disbelief went out the window about the time they flew off to the hive ship. They have the confidence of a drunk white guy belting out NWA at karaoke night in Compton….several bad decisions got them there, and lucky to survive with just a single bullet wound.

Good chapter, ... but why did the Kirrix Hive ship never raise its shields? ... broken? ... ;-) TTFN

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"My face, it's bleeding!"

patiently waiting for the yellow N

The Invictus wipes out a lot of Pirate ships, and they chase off the rest, ... then, lots of great fighting on board the Kirrix Hive ship, ... and then Sparks scar washes off in the shower, .... quite a memorable day

-- good chapter, but next time they'll need 50% more ammo and a few more grenades too, ... ;-) ttfn

So 2 people are able to assault a 900m ship almost unharmed, ye right...

In addition to being impossible in the first place, cervical penetration is apparently deeply painful.

Neutrons would be terrible combat weapons - extremely deadly, but usually days or weeks later. There's no reason they'd have a visible beam, apart from narratively.

I'm minded of why The Expanse is so good - interpersonal conflict and flawed but relatable characters. That's missing here. I skim the sex scenes now, but the mysterious central plot has got me this far.

I'm wondering how many more white or tanned teenagers John will acquire?