All Comments on 'Three Square Meals Ch. 017'

Just grinning.

Awesome.

keep it comin.... your tale is rolling along very nicely.. ;)

My dick only gets so hard.

Seriously nice work

5/5

Last time Jade noticed something at Johns taste, and they were about to talk of the (girls) mental changes.

I'd have to say I am more interested in that then the sex at this stage.

And I almost thought Geoff will want to join the crew..

Please can you slow down on the second it's ruining the entire story, I feel that while it's a great story the sea out ways any of the story by a ratio of 9:1 wrt paragraphs. And if it's possible I would like to see more depth wrt when characters talk about their abilities or them the mechanics are talking shop. Other than that I like the direction the story was going , want it to hurry up and get to the alien species and the various upgrades

I think you're exaggerating a little on the ratio of sex to story. ;)

The first two pages are almost solid exposition or character development and even the sex scene has a point to it (which will get revealed later).

In any case, Chapter 18 is just pending approval so will probably be up by tomorrow and there's more of what you're asking for in there, as well as Chapter 19 which I'll probably finish tonight.

It was deliciously kinky at that last scene. By the way, I've been meaning to give you an advice on some erotic writing, but I don't know if it can be properly explained like this. You see, there is depicting an act of sex, and then there's erotic method of depicting an act of sex. While you do write exceptionally well overall, you do lack a bit of erotic part. It's about those little things, you see; like when a man [... began trailing gentle kisses slowly down her neck and between her collarbones, dropping lower and lower, each little peck sending tingles through her spine and deep into her feminine core...] And then you spend some time depicting nothing but that. Long, complex sentences. Sentences designed to mount the reader's expectation of the impending release the characters would have, and it is ultimately the best kind of sex scene anyone can make. It is up to you whether you want to try out such method, but if you do, then the chapters will come more rarely. Which would be okay if you seek self-gratification by writing a good piece of literotical art.

On another note, there's the fact that your story is growing nice and strong. It would actually be wise of you - and MANY of the finest Literotica authors actually do this - to make a whole chapter or two successive chapters to be completely WITHOUT sex. Love, hugs, kittens and puppies yes, but hold it out on sex. I'd understand if you might have some fears about writing like that, but the thing is that since this story is THIS LONG, it has achieved a life of its own, and the readers will unconsciously want to see more of story development. If you push too much sex, then the story actually falls in danger of loosing its appeal. Believe me when I say that there are many amazing stories on Literotica that have little to no sex in them, and they are still bloody amazing! You should strive for that.

And finally, I wanted to give you an idea: don't you think it would be awesome if John were to use all that enormous unoccupied space in his cruiser to create fighter drone bays, hmm? A six-unit squadron of aircraft-like drones bought and then upgraded by Sparks in the newly outfitted drone bay that was modified from what were once barracks, or such. Such drones could act as scouts, interceptors, bombers, strafing runs, harassment - you name it. Arm them with swarm missiles against smaller enemy craft, or heavy torpedoes against dreadnoughts and battleships without risking Invictus. John would become the leader of his own battle group. Interesting, no? While we're at it, think about humanoid combat drones - for protecting the ship or such.

Anyway, that's it from me.

Some great feedback thank you.

I'll have a think over your suggestions. I actually have some things like that planned already, but I won't go into it to avoid ruining any surprises.

Tefler, I know i'm just an anonymous but I still have to say that your story is absolutly wonderful. Please just keep getting it out of your head so you have no regrets when the story winds down to the end. I still believe a manga publishing company should be buying your story so I can have awesome pictures to better relate to this even more awesome story. You should be taking my money Tefler..getting paid. I'm going to miss your downtime absence and i'll be checking for more every single day just in case. Please don't listen to anyone else but me as I say, "Just keep doing YOUR thing and let everbody else write and labor over their own stuff". Peace, Love and Zero-7

Thanks for the kind words. I'm really glad to hear you're enjoying the story.

I have thought about doing something commercial with it, but at the moment I've just been focusing on the writing.

I finished Chapter 19 tonight. It's a longer one than normal and a little different in style. I'll proof read it then hand it over to my kindly editor for him to cast his discerning eye on it. It should be up on here after the weekend I guess, going by how quickly the site normally approves new submissions.

I've got the next 10 or so chapters fairly well sketched out in my head, so they should be quick to churn out.

Captain Kirk never had it so good, I remember him pulling his boots on while a Hally Mills look alike brushed out her hair.

Burke has the ship rocking, and all are inside so no need to be knockin. A good adventure all round now.

Noticed another name-typo on page 3:

"Jade eased her arm out of Calara's pussy gently, kissing her one last time before moving out from between her legs."

"Calara" should be "Alyssa"

*poofs away to read next chapter*

Mr. Tefler you really rock!

I know you've received so many positive comments, but I havé to add mine.

You are really talented. I'm enjoying thé ride.

Thank you for a magnificient story.

There is just the right amount of sex and fiction.

... what an amazing creation written into the group she will be.

If there was a 6th star rating I would give it. So hot and nasty!

And your telling me that the next chapters just keep getting better and that I have 90+ of them to read?! Holy shite Christmas came early!

You have no idea :)

Let's see if ....

All the crew have / will get meta human abilities.

Four girls in the crew already and Alyssa is asking questions about Rachel. SMH... I had forgotten about her 😋 yummy

Looks like this story passes the test of time - thank you! P.S. Pls ignore those who cast shade because it's not exactly what they want - continue to tell the story you want to tell...

Good job he's got a quad.

JADE-NYMPH: first cum load she slept for 14 hours, same as Terran girls, ... 2nd, when Jade awakens from her 14hr nap, she is NOT raspy-thirsty like the others were, ... 3rd, on her 2nd load she fall asleep again (for 4 hours?) -- So, Nymphs are the same, but different, ... interesting, ... ;-) TTFN

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

The redhead beamed a big friendly smile at him in return and waved him farewell.

patiently waiting for the yellow N

Four for Four . love it.

Jade, is somewhat psychic herself, her mosaic image immediately popped into Alyssa's mind within moments of John feeding her his psychic cum, ... the other girls all took a third time, ... and she didn't wake thirsty like the terran girls all did, ... yeah Jade is a little different, ... and she is green, ...

-- And I really want to see Sparks workshop, what goodies will she get? And Poor Alyssa must settle for getting a bunch of new clothes, ... oh well, we all have our burdens, ... ;-) ttfn