All Comments on 'Three Square Meals Ch. 036'

I really appreciate how you take chapters off from the plot to focus on characterization and character development. These chapters are some of my favorites as they help me to love the characters.

You mentioned in a comment to the previous chapter that you wrote some of the beginning of chapter 36 as a response to what I had written about the significance of the mental changes. That was clearly true as I could not miss how I had inspired those paragraphs. Actually, it was quite interesting seeing my own sentences from that comment rephrased to be expressed in John's tone. So fascinating to see my words transformed that way by another's personality.

Thank you for answering my concerns so well. I was very satisfied with the way that Rachel is dealing with everything now. I suspect that the situation simply seemed too surreal for her to believe and acknowledge it all before she took the initial plunge.

I love the story and look for new chapters all the time. I would add one small criticism... while I really like your writing style and the plot line, seeing the same words over and over is getting tiring. Adoringly, lovingly, warmly, etc etc. Not every smile has to be described, and especially not with the same terms. Im not meaning to sound harsh, and some might not agree. Just one guys opinion. Other than that, Im REALLY looking forward to the rest of the story.

"You mentioned in a comment to the previous chapter that you wrote some of the beginning of chapter 36 as a response to what I had written about the significance of the mental changes. "

Yes, the discussions that we had on the previous comments made me think about what the ramifications of joining John would really entail, so I thought it would be interesting to explore it a little further.

It also gave me a different way to let Rachel know some of the other girls' backstory, without some tedious intro monologue for each girl.

So thanks a lot for your input, and I'm glad you enjoyed seeing it translated into the story!

"seeing the same words over and over is getting tiring."

Yeah, sorry about that. I've heard that criticism before about describing the smiles. I'll try and concentrate on correcting that for future chapters, and attempt to add a few more interesting adjectives to my vocabulary!

"Other than that, Im REALLY looking forward to the rest of the story."

Great! It's always nice to hear that someone is enjoying what I've written. I don't remember seeing your username before on the comments, so thanks for taking the time to give feedback.

With John's recent promotion, I thought I'd clearly list out the Terran Federation Naval officer ranks I'm using in the story, just in case anyone is interested (lowest to highest):

Ensign

Second Lieutenant

First Lieutenant

Lieutenant Commander

Commander

Captain

Commodore

Rear Admiral

Vice Admiral

Admiral

Fleet Admiral

Damn, this is a great story.

Another great chapter, this is a great story. You are awesome! :)

so now that john is a Commodore dose he have more clearance to help Calara with her investigation ?

and finely the sword training , also can you make the girls train too , so far its only been Alyssa doing the fighting

i am guessing that the assassin is next because john is gonna be on the news and then the award ceremony so the assassin will know

maybe john get a serious injury and Rachel keep him alive until he sleep and heal after seeing the dream

a suggestion for the next girl :

we have two orphanage girls from a poor mining place

we have two girls from the military

we have one alien girl ;) so can the next one be an alien too and can she be a big deal like a princess or something

sorry for my bad grammar english isn't my first language

@Gozzy64 and @onlyonetry

Cheers! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

In response to "Ignore if you don't like"

I find comments like yours the hardest to respond to. Let's just say you should enjoy the upcoming chapters... :-)

Easily my most favorite. I just wish Literotica could notify me when you post a new chapter. Keep up the good work. Write how you write. Your style will mature naturally. I'll be looking every day for the next chapter. Please don't make us wait too long!

here playing wow doing some crafting ... next thought in my head... i wounder if there is any good stories on lit atm ..... woohooo , havn't even read it yet, but i'll give 5 stars and tell you it is wonderful, such is my faith in you. :D

I just can't get enough and I get so disappointed at the end of every chapter. Each chapter is great and I love the story. I've been tracking it since like chapter 3.

Keep up the good work!

I still don't think Harris is involved in anything nefarious, based on the dialogue it feels like the only thing he's hiding is how badly the Terran Federation is getting slaughtered.

How old is Rachel anyway? I don't think you've mentioned it anywhere and given the medical training, I'd have guessed early 20s but you described her as a teenager.

Very intrigued by a planet in which you can make your own island, seems like a lot of fun to be had with that one.

I'm curious why you've decided to have him listed as a retired Commander officially but with any military check, he'd be described as a Commodore, no idea if that distinction means anything or just makes administration easier. Also very excited to see where the Commodore thing goes of course.

It's also interesting that the girls appear to be pairing off based on where they work, Bridge Crew and Deck 7 Crew. I'm intrigued as to what happens with the 6th girl for Jade, of course that's probably a little ways off.

Can't wait for 37

It's always good to hear that people are still enjoying the story.

@inevitable:

"How old is Rachel anyway?"

She's 18. School in the Terran Federation is a full time affair, with all the "fat" trimmed from the curriculum. Kids choose specialisations at sixteen and spend a couple of years training intensively for it, at least for the mainstream (Calara) and privileged classes (Rachel). Dana and Alyssa were a different story obviously.

"why you've decided to have him listed as a retired Commander officially but with any military check, he'd be described as a Commodore"

As he's supposed to be retired and no longer working for the Terran Federation, then giving him an official promotion makes it clear he's still working for them. It doesn't make a great deal of difference, except for dealing with other races, if he's trying to maintain his role as a civilian. It becomes a moot point soon in any case, but you're right to pick up on it.

I meant to put this into the previous comment but forgot.

Be careful with overusing "sigh", "pant", "moan" and any of their derivations. Lust is also something to be careful with but a bit less so. All of those words or their derivations come up very frequently in the chapters that focus on crew development and sex.

Charles is probably hiding something because he doesn't know if he can trust those around him. He obviously won't be opposed to John and his crew snooping around, he just can't encourage it or share too much information or very bad things could happen.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter. The pace is a bit frustrating, but I wouldn't trade faster updates for lower quality ones. Keep at it. Your series is definitely my favorite one going on right now.

Only five stars again, they need more for a story this good.

Thank you for this outstanding chapter.

Even though Rachel is going through the changing process a lot more informed and aware than the other girls, the process itself seemes to be unaltered. I'm very curious wether she will gather knowledge about it from her tests.

I admire the way you react and make use of the many comments you receive; a sign of a great writer. But please don't let it impare your excellent writing style or the way you develop the story. All the attention to details means your readers are very involved in the story and thus means you are creating a wonderful story.

But aligned details or not, "correct" wording or not, the story itself is always the most important. And the very well balanced combination of your many twists and turns in the plot, the fast moving action, and the slower descriptions of developments in people's abilities and relations, is exactly what makes your story one of the best (if not THE best) story on Lit to date.

Wishing you as much pleasure in writing as we all have in reading.

In earlier chapters you mentioned that the Malairi (if thats spelt right) wear ornate suits so nobody knows what they look like. One of the ideas John put to Alyssia was because they were mutated.

The idea I was to have Racheal study the malari defects then use a concoction of John's semen to cure the genetic defects. In this idea you could either go two ways: Racheal learns how to remove the mental changes or John gets control of every Malari who takes the "cure".

Either way the Malari would give John the tech hes looking for.

so what do you think tef?

About the Maliri:

I already have their whole story arc planned out, and I think it will be a couple of chapters until we meet them, but not long to go now!

Nice ideas though, thanks for the suggestions.

I feel like the DNA reader error many chapters back could take a good looking-at with Rachel and Dana on the team.

It's on her "to do" list. :-)

I mention it again in Chapter 37 (which is nearly done).

Not sure how many girls will be added, but when thinking about what a doctor might be able to do, I had ideas for other specialists.

Botanist - Could study plant life on various worlds, which includes various chemical compounds that could be use for both offensive and defensive purposes.

Zoologist - studies animals and other alien species to learn from their traits.

This was really caused by thinking about what the doc could study, and besides other races I also thought about chemical compounds like pheromones. John already produces substances that can alter the physical and mental....could that be weaponized? Used defensively? Anyway...just random thoughts I wanted to share.

Good job and keep writing!

It's the longest one yet at just over 20k words (instead of the normal 15k), with a fair bit happening to progress the story.

I've handed it over to my editors, so it will probably be up on the site in about... three or four days if I had to guess?

Have a good weekend!

Tefler

I don't think the ship really needs a Botanist or Zoologist to accomplish what John wants to do. They have all the department heads they need now, what is really lacking is simply personnel. It would be incredibly helpful to simply have a secondary navigator or tactical officer to support the primary and watch the bridge for a potential emergency while their superior officer is doing something much more important. Or a second engineer so that someone can do the grunt work while Dana is busy reverse-engineering new technology. It would even be incredibly useful to have two gunship pilots so that there's someone to watch Jade's back in a fight.

It's not flashy to have a supporting job, but it is really important. Perhaps what the ship REALLY needs right now is a Jack-of-All-Trades to help out with <i>everything</i> so that nobody gets overwhelmed.

So been reading your story since the beginning don't usually comment but having more crew then his department heads wouldn't be needed necessarily if Idk you remember something like AI might have been mentioned. So Yea the AI could do the grunt work and a lot of other duties for then ship since there is robots all over the ship just saying. By the way Tefler I read a lot of stories on here from very popular to dud stories and atm yours and magicwtr are the only authors I'm steadily following. Keep up the great writing you make my mind travel to a great universe with your writing.

@Zoconja: Perhaps you missed it, but when AI was mentioned, it was explained that the first rule of Artificial Intelligence in this world is that as soon as a computer becomes intelligent it starts killing everyone.

Pretty sure that an AI is not a good idea unless his next girl is an awesome programming specialist who figure out how to fix that little problem.

Tefler

You are writing a great story. Please do not do what ITPC did with the story Endangered where it just stopped at chapter 5 on 7/15/14 leaving everyone just hanging. He or she has not written anything past that date.

Again great story

Dave

I like how you keep this 'initiation ritual' interesting from a content-oriented point of view. I know, I've used the word repetitive before, but you eihter grew beyond that or it was just a temporary thing anyway. Now, I'm actually looking forward to the next crewmember to see it happening with the added insight from an in depth analysis taht's going to be performed. Keeping this interesting is no small feat.

And then there's the whole rest of the story going on with the military meta plot in the background. I really do hope you don't grow tired of this soon.

I hadn't really considered a "Jack of all trades" type of character before, but it actually fits really well for one I'm planning for the future, but couldn't really narrow down a specific role for her. Thanks, I think I'll use this!

@Zoconja

Thanks for leaving feedback, I'm glad you've been enjoying the story! I won't get involved with the AI discussion, but I'll just say that the topic of AI might well crop again in the future...

@anon regarding cliff hangers

A lot of the chapters don't really end on cliff hangers, there's just a lot of plot threads going on, so it might seem like there's something important waiting around the corner. If I leave it on a cliffhanger, you'll know about it!

I have no plans to stop this story any time soon, so if I do randomly stop, then it will be because I've met some kind of grim end!

@mikeyStone

I remember you're previous comment from ages ago, but I'm happy to hear that I managed to make the later chapters more varied.

Chapter 37 has been submitted, and is just awaiting approval.

Great Story! I have been reading from the start and am always happy to see a new chapter. The above suggestion about adding a Girl Friday, got me to thinking what other roles there night be on the ship, and then generally. John, Alyssa, & Jade all fill multiple roles, they could really use someone to fill those roles when they're busy with other things. Perhaps someone who specialized in close combat would be helpful, so that Alyssa isn't the only one watching John's back during a boarding action? or communications? Alyssa handles social occasions off ship, maybe John could use a business manager, a beautiful, sexy business manager?

Regardless of what happens in future episodes, I an many others are looking forward to it.

I hadn't thought of that "business manager" idea. Good point. As John becomes more and more important in this arm of the galaxy that will become more important. Eventually he will really need someone to handle his increasing presence in the social and political arena. Considering the looming wars and his increasing power as a ship with the power of an entire fleet that will be damn useful.

As for a close quarters specialist... Really what is needed is a small troop of marines for boarding actions. Fighting a boarding action with only two people, even if they are John and Alyssa, is pretty crazy. John needs a minimum of three girls backing him up to control the situation during a boarding action. Any fewer is extremely risky and it would be good to have more to help repel boarders. A small group of Lenarrans would really be ideal for that. A group of super-fast tiger women are just terrifying in close spaces and I really feel that they need John more than he needs them. (Perhaps some of them might be more comfortable with weapons than Jade.)

It's too bad that Nymphs are so rare and hard to find. On the other hand, they are traded like merchandise and he can afford to buy them. If I was to start looking for Lenarrans to purchase I'd probably start on some luxury world whose sole purpose is to be a playground for the ultra-rich and extremely powerful... Hey! That's where we're going! Maybe we'll see a bunch more Nymphs eager to start guzzling John's miracle juice very soon. I hope so, because they seriously need the upgrade to their self-esteem and happiness.

@Tefler: A Jack-of-All character? That's twice that my comments have had an influence on the course of the story. Wheeeeee!

@slinky just saying a programming genius with John's enhancement could mean AI is possible cause his girls are way more smart then normal humans that's a definite. And the AI would solve jack of all trades position and the undermanned crew position since it could control the turrets. Since his girls are so smart the AI might just respect them enough to were it doesn't rampage since they could be close in intelligence levels. Maybe the reason the other AI's went rogue was because they thought humans were inferior species not worthy of them. Didn't mean step on your toes just reminding you AI was refrenced in previous chapters is all.

Euhm, Dana also said the AI wont be any smarter than the cleaning robots. But im not here for this discussion. Im here for this Awesome story.

Thanks again Tefler!

As long as promotions are being passed out, Carla is still a federation Lt. I like the team work. Much more reflective of how shit happens. Are the girls pairing up? Dana and Rachel seem to be bonding. John a little more dominating of Rachel, like with Sparks at first. I missed a ch. or two the progenators, there's to much, plus all the other storys.

Wouldn't all the lenarans(furry feline women) turn into hot hairless human feautured babes(albeit with different hair colors inherited from their feline DNA) due to John's mutagenic semen?

Jade only staid green due to her shapeshifting powers & even she finds it easier to stay in her Allysa form.

have you ever watched a movie or read something and you're so involved with the story your emotions are going crazy and your laughing and crying and nothing else around you is important or even aware of what is happening.. yup that is me reading this story

Yup. This is wonderful and i cant put it down.

Rereading this series, enjoying just as much this time. Nit picking perhaps, but a teenaged fully qualified practicing doctor...

In chapter 36 (p.4), Rachel and Dana discuss personality changes. Raymond Cattell made a distinction between personality source and personality surface traits. The following conversation reminds me of the differentiation between these two levels.

"I was wondering more about the personality changes … "Do you think I'll still be the same person?" Rachel asked her bluntly. "Yes," Dana said with conviction. "It'll probably be easier for me to explain, if I tell you what it was like when I met up with Alyssa again after she had changed. I'd grown up with her, and she was my best friend, so I know her better than anyone else I've ever met. The physical changes were glaring and obvious, but the personality changes were there too, subtle yes, but still there." "Doesn't that mean she changed into a different person?" Rachel asked in confusion. "Well it was like all the best bits of her that I really liked had been enhanced; her kindness, warmth, and friendliness. She'd also grown leaps and bounds in confidence, with all self-doubt and anxiety gone. It was like she was the best possible version of Alyssa, but the core personality that was my best friend was still there," Dana explained honestly. "How about you, have you changed much?" Rachel asked her intrigued. "Yes. I think I've probably gone through the biggest personality changes to be honest. I was a shy, lonely, introverted girl, who had got used to being ignored or rejected because of the way I looked. I like to think that the way I am now, is how I'd have been if I had the same kind of loving upbringing that Calara had, for example," the redhead said, her eyes looking sad for a moment, before she perked up again. "I get the impression that she's changed the least, perhaps just growing more confident and outgoing. Her family seemed impressed with the new version of her, but she didn't freak them out or anything. I don't think you'll change much either, because you're already lovely, and very similar to the personality type that John finds most appealing."

Story writing, character development .... turn up loud. Well done 👍🏼👏🏼

TFed promoted the progenitor. Pure trouble now.

I don't think I'll ever get over how the armor is going to be bright white now instead of that awesome black it use to be.

So, John takes training time to up-skill the crew (while calling it a vacation). Transitioning to the 'Super Six' .... cool

Okay, we have the new and improved (White) Invictium used on suit armor, Raptor armor, and soon be Invictus Armor too... and any new gear or weapons that Dana can think up that needs some stronger material to work (or to work better) with... Its resilience is presently at two to four times the strength of Titanium armor strength, and possibly will be more as Alyssa grows her psychic strength and can further manipulate the stuff... And Calara thinks that John looks so Dreamy as her White Knight... This is another TSM item that turns to universe upside down... Keep up the incredible work Tef, we are all loving it! ;-) TTFN

I’m so attached and invested in all these characters, even Charles and Calara’s family.

wow, more repetitive dialog and emotions. I wonder how much ACTUAL writing went into this story? It seems as if cutting and pasting is all that is necessary for stories like this to get advanced to the next chapter of cut/paste development.

I will make an assumption that John will in the next chapter or two second think his decision to enamor the new recruit and start to believe he is a bad man for trying to surround himself with a harem of unwilling participants in his debauchery. That is just what was done previously...

Still very good

Interesting they have Rachel now and with Dana I wonder how far theyll go with analysing the dead aliens. It would be great if they could manufacture the lizards natural armour or add it to their existing armour!!

Here’s my guess (influenced by one of Tefler’s comments above about the distinction of retired rank not mattering for much longer, but was what I was thinking before I saw that)…Charles is hiding the fact that the Terrans want John back on active duty,

Now, for other crew members, I’ll echo my previous comments about a counselor, a security officer & another pilot, and I’ll add a sociologist/expert in alien relations, plus I like the jack (or jill) of all trades. I also think the ship could do with a character similar to Guinan from ST:TNG or River Song from DW…a wise but not-always forthcoming old soul, who can partition her mind to shield things from the rest of the crew (for their own good), even after melding with Alyssa.

The other thing this epic needs is a charismatic and worthwhile adversary - and even better if it’s a woman who John and the girls can flirt with as they battle - think Irene Adler in Cumberbatch’s Sherlock, or Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions…with the added bonus that after defeating her John could bend her to his will (or over a table).

Also, at some point, with all the battles and repairs and travel, the ship is going to suffer a breakdown that takes time to repair…it can make for a fun side chapter or can come in the middle of something, but if it has that many moving parts, some of them will wear out,,,

On to 37!

-- what if Doctor Rachel suggests another lift to the 7th deck, next to or inside the Medical Bay, for patients that might not take well to the anti-gravity tubes, and need to stay on a stretcher...

And the Invictus is 500 meters long (bigger than a 21st century aircraft carrier), so, I think it needs a few more elevators and anti-grav lifts about the ship, ...

anyway, Dana has enough work to do already, ... we'll save more lifts for later on, ... ;-) TTFN

Rachel's 3rd load, she is part of the crew now, Dana is happy about that too, .... ;-) TTFN

<Yawn> More infinite detail about a process that's been infinitely detailed several times. Identical blowjobs from the identical swooning women of the Invictus. I love the battles and other science fiction in Tefler's universe, but every chapter is rife with repetition.

.

Once you get past your initial response of seeing a teen girl swallow three feet of fire hose, it becomes tiresome to see it again and again, in every chapter and especially in such repetitious detail. Oh well.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"You should shake off the memory loss next time,"

Question: where was John's nightmarish visit to the deep Astral?

-- "Happy that all the girls were at peace, John closed his own eyes, falling into a restful dreamless slumber himself." (at the end of last chapter)

-- "John slept for a few hours, until a slight movement next to his body woke him up. He quickly shook off his initial drowsiness, ... " (at beginning of this chapter)

--was Rachel's joining not worthy of Astral Monsters for some untold reason? ;-) ttfn

Oops, never mind, ... my quotes were 'during' Rachel's first 14 hour load, .... now, at the end of this chapter (#36) he does go to sleep again, and early in the next chapter he finally gets his 'Rachel' nightmare (in chapter #37), .... I jumped the gun, there was no missing and awful astral trip, sorry, ... ;-) ttfn

patiently waiting for the yellow N

John is still learning what it is to be a Progenitor, and Rachel's studies will help, ... but they really need to find an actual Progenitor to really get the information they need, ... John's father? maybe?

-- And the Invictus has had its first major upgrade, with Ashanath goodies, improved FTL drive and power core as well as more punch for the ship's main guns, ... Dana has also given them better gear, weapons and armor, ... not Progenitor level yet, but she's getting them there, ... ;-) ttfn