All Comments on 'Threeway Bonding Ch. 01'

Incredibly well-written, with great fleshed out characters. 10/10!

Great story writing. The characters are well done and believable and the sex is really hot. Thanks. Glad there is a number after the title.

Hot sex with a great sense of humor. Thank you!

I enjoyed the use of humor in the story. The male somewhat reminded me of Leon from Dick Solomon's class in "third rock from the sun."

This has got to be the best read i have had in a long time arousing, funny, and very appealing had me horney and laughing at the same time hope you write some more adventures of this kind great read/

Thank you

jeff

This is a great story from begining to end. Please continue to keep them pouring in.

Good one. You kept Mark a doofus right through to the end. Like Zack on TBBT.

Your writing is fine, but (and I don't mean to carp here) I miss the charged atmosphere of erotica. Mechanically the writing is good, the sex act is good, but the frisson is missing, or weak.

Still, good job.

Joe

Ok, good feedback... Are you saying that I've failed to put in the "cold chill, tingly" vibe that erotica tends to go for, or are you saying that the humor element distracts from the frission? Again, first time writer, so comments like this will only help me in the future.

Sexy and hilarious! Thank you very much!

I love it! I can't wait to see what's in store for Claire next!

No, the humor is fine, and detracts not at all. It's just that erotic, to me, takes place between the ears, not between the legs. So while Mark is clueless, yet provides good physical appeal, I would expect more electricity between the roommates. More surprise, more anticipation (anticipation is the greatest turn-on there is!) asthe two women come together. Like, what will change as a result of this experiment? Is a more sexual lifestyle forthcoming between the women? What do they think about this experience, about each other as the sex progresses? Sex takes place mostly in the mind, I think, and I like to know the reactions of the participants. I don't know how prevalent this opinion is, but that's how I think of it. Joedeboer@yahoo.com

Loved the ease with which I related to these characters. Loved the comedy, and how hot Claire and Jenny were with each other. Nice job LH.

I loved it -- it kept me interested and was very erotic.

First great story! My only complaints and complaint seems too strong a word but first would be taint isn't a very sexy word, when I hear taint I think of the space between my balls and ass not a vagina, maybe a word like her mound or her sex versus taint

Second "complaint" would be Mark as a character just rubbed me the wrong way and made getting into the action harder. As well as what Joe said about the frission being off. It was a well written story but not quite erotic.

keep up the good writing

I genuinely liked this story, the characters were well written, and I know how I 'd like to see these relationships develop between the three, but this was a really good story, even if it just ends up a stand alone story.

Really great story - very sexy, very different in the awkwardness and building to be open. Fantastic first work - can't wait to read more from you.

I liked the story - sexy, funny. I wouldn't call it hot and I like hot but a good story. Please take a look at the M1ke Hunt stories for very good examples of humor in sex stories. Just pronounce his name out loud and he can see his style of humor. He is/was a master of it. http://www.asstr.org/~BitBard/forray/m1ke/.

good writing... but I agree with some previous commenters. Something was missing. It should have been very erotic. Sorry, it just missed that. But keep going: you have something, work on it.

Excellent story, great writing. The humor is nicely subtle and works well. The reactions and behavior are believable. This has the makings of a great series.

I do agree with the other comments that say although it's very good, it needs an extra something. It seems to me it has to do with setting or deepening mood. Some of the shifts were a little abrupt. Here's an example: when you say "but when it began to look like he was having more fun with Jenny feelings of betrayal washed over me. I was about to just get up and leave", the change in mood is sudden and happens without buildup. The reaction itself is plausible; it may have helped to set it up a bit more.

All in all, great job -- I really hope to see more.

Excellent characterization---although I think maybe Mark's stupidity goes a little beyond realistic. Very sexy, especially how the narrator's barriers are broken down bit by bit.

You should definitely continue writing more stories... this one was great!

That was great! Descriptive but not overwhelmingly so, I could feel how much fun you were having. Looking forward to your next.

Hello to everyone who has liked this story and expressed interest in the next chapter. The truth is writing has proven to be a very time consuming activity for me and as a result I'm finding it difficult to bring chapter 2 to fruition. I honestly have about 5 or 6 versions of chapter 2, each one aborted after having to take a long hiatus. I wasn't being optimistic when I titled this chapter 1, I already had [a] chapter 2 in the works before I submitted this one. In any event, I intend to write chapter 2 at some point but I've decided the best thing for me to do as a writer is focus on shorter stories and build up my skills. So keep a look out for it, and, hopefully, more short stories from me.

Great story and I also liked your beach story. Keep them cuming.

Super sexy story; can't wait for Ch. 02. This has got to be the best FFM story I have ever read.