All Comments on 'Through the Gate of the Gods Ch. 01'

Sk good first chapter. Sure, we can be pretty confident of the revelations to come in the next few chapters. These will be the foundation of the overall storyline from your imagineering. You did a good job establishing the basics of your characters.

Since this is the sf/sf category and you were wise enough to avoid specific place and time in history, I am willing to tolerate the anachronisms so far. As there is the strong possibility that these are integral to the complete plot. Sorry to be pedantic but way too many writers make serious errors of fact when attempting Harlequin Historical (hysterical?) Romance stories.

As for your writing, I like your style, it is comfortable to read. However, the only advice I would offer is never, ever trust spellcheck or any other computer function that auto-replaces words. The programmers who code those functions are homophon-phobic illiterates.

I am looking forward to future postings of your story.

YOU CAN'T END IT THERE. This is bloody brilliant, and cannot wait to see what happens next. Please hurry with chapter 2. :)

Nice piece. Look forward to the next chapter.

To start with the good news, you did a fantastic job creating the characters, making what they went through both realistic yet not boring. As a result, while the chapter was quite dry to read through, at no point did I consider leaving in favour of another story. I especially liked the details you added in, in particular how she had never tried bacon or hash browns before - a small enough detail, but one you used to make a broader point, in an eloquent manner. This is a slippery slope, as too many small details can bore the reader, however you hit the nail on the head for the right balance in this chapter.

Now for the bad news (or constructive critisism), I noticed a few grammatical errors, notably 'tow' as opposed to 'two'. Nothing story breaking, but it's what separates a fantastic story from a hall of fame story. Personally while writing I like to read aloud what I've written, to catch as many of those little auto-correct mishaps as I can. I don't expect you to be perfect, however I expect you to strive for perfection ;)

Aside from that though, not much constructive criticism yet, we'll see where the plot goes! Well, there is one more thing... Curses for the cliff hanger! Fantastic writing strategy, as it makes me want to read more, that hasn't been written yet!

Kudos for an incredible prologue, to what hopefully turns out to be an equally impressive story.

Cheers, Dennis

So many intricate details ! ! I'm impressed. I won't suggest you getting stretched for using sense for since ~ but I like to hold with the theme and point it out. You're a GREAT writer: let no one put you in doubt. Thank You for getting us this far. I'm betting the real prize is behind The Gate.