All Comments on 'Through the Gate of the Gods Ch. 02'

I hope orchid doesn't get shared with multiple men. She stayed pure for no reason if she's going to be a slut. Although I can still live with her having multiple female partners but only one man..

I am looking forward to more soon. Please write faster. Chris

Sounds like the sacrifices are just nothing more than sex slaves. Even if they get married it seems that they would be more sex toy than anything else.

You're making progress in the story, but I see you've underestimated yourself. "The good stuff" began on Page 1 and continues throughout. I like the story, give it 5 stars, and will continue to read the rest if you continue to write it.

Hello hello hello, it's your favourite commentator Dennis! First off I want to let you know how excited I was when I saw that your newest chapter had come out, and while it may not have been very climactic (ba dum tss) in terms of both story line and sexuality, it did lay quite a lot of foundation, and built the story world rather well.

So first with the good parts:

I personally enjoyed the tease, and thrill that you had is enjoy with every time the main character became aroused; After all, she has no idea about it at all, and that certainly gave it an extra thrill. You're setting her up to be a very sexual creature, without completely destroying her innocence, a balance that is hard to create and even harder to maintain. So great job! Hopefully you can keep this going in the future chapters, however you are the author, so we'll see where you lead us. Speaking of, what a plot twist! Great job surprising the reader between chapters one and two, you not only took the story in an unexpected direction, but you did it with ease, and made the transition seem smooth. I also enjoyed the comedic relief brought about by 'Old Mother', while very crude it was also believable, and brought back some memories of my own grandparents. As always, fantastic character creation, and I'm curious as to how you plan to use her as a plot link. Perhaps the system established could break? What if she becomes too attached to any one of the 'Chosen'? So many possibilities!

First the sugar, now the salt (constructive criticism hopefully).

I found the initial meeting with the the gods to be rather bland, and it seemed a bit rushed. Not that there was anything wrong with how you set it up, and leaving the girls with the impression of an omnipotent God certainly has its plot benefits, but, eh. I expected more than a white room, and being left alone for an indefinite amount of time to be the big pazam, God time! However, it did leave a sense of mystery, so that may be used later. As a second point, I'm not sure if this is because you changed your mind on how the story would play out, but so far the girls have been promised to be sacrificed to the god (each one to another in particular), and this was reinforced by the claiming that they experienced in the beginning of the chapter. After that however, they were then told they would be married off to one of the deciples? What happened to the idea of serving each God? Maybe I'm reading too much into this, however this might also be another direction you could take the novel, where this year's batch isn't satisfied with the men they meet, or after a years end they haven't married off. I'm not sure if you noticed, but I'm reaching pretty far in my 'bad' part of the comment section!

There are no two ways about it, this has been an amazing read so far. Your strengths continue to be character and environment building, leading to an immersive experience. I *could* b*tch and whine about how short your story chapters are, but when you're cramming this much plot into each one, there's no reason to complain. In this chapter you've created a lot of questions, now the hard part is answering them in a believable and enjoyable way, so I look forward to your next chapter! I'm personally looking forward to whether this becomes a dystopian world or not, that if everything really is as neat and orderly as they're making it seem. After all, In a world where gods vie for followers, there have to be conflicts between themselves as well. What of the 'greater gods'? Argh, the possibilities!

Well, I think I've rambled on long enough, I give this chapter a solid 5/5!

You've made a fan out of me,

Dennis