All Comments on 'Through the Gate of the Gods Ch. 03'

It seems interesting but a bit dark for my tastes. Girls getting sent to be prostitutes at some chosen "gods" city? I'll keep reading but still very confused with the direction this is going.

The author likes Gor stories, and once I saw that, this made more sense. Those are pretty straight forward: the fetishization of female virginity and brain-washed, utter devotion of her sexuality to one all-powerful man (literally a god), with no other qualities for which she is valued.

I think that's what threw us off. It's taking *less* brain-power to understand the story than we expected, and we're looking for complexity where there is none. The beginning implied a thinking heronine---but that's never the case with Gor stories told from the female perspective, sadly. Not for me...I have to think a bit harder to be turned on.

that i agree with anonymous but i do share their disquiet. i suspect the second anon has accurately analyzed the authors intent. i agree from a quick survey of this writer's other posted stories, that he writes his female characters as simplistic, one-dimensional creatures.

however, that is a very popular meme on this site. if he can gain audience share among the misogynist stories flooding Literotica, he could achieve a sizable marketshare, yet.

i will continue to follow this storyline, in the hopes that Sk can develop a coherent development of interesting characters and a promising background.

I don't usually try to defend myself against criticisms, but I think some of the comments here are a little unfair. Not about this story, but about the other stories I've written for this site, that I'm assuming Anonymous #2 and Fanfare haven't actually read.

No, I am not, repeat, emphatically NOT a Gor fan. At one point, I call Panther Tales an anti-Gorean story. I offer this little tidbit from the first chapter.

There is no creature more wretched, more hopeless, or more miserable than a Gorean slave....For female slaves, life consists solely of drudgery, hard work, brutality, terror and rape. Most of the hapless girls are worked hard from dawn until dark, then expected to spend the night being beautiful, alluring and passionate. To not respond to a Master’s lust with enthusiasm means a whipping at best, and can mean being tortured to death. For whatever reasons, nothing makes a Gorean male harder than that combination of fear-filled eyes and a squirming, responsive body. Having to pretend to love the attention of free men--having to appear eager to be used as an object of their lust--is the most horrid part of wearing a slave collar. Indeed, while Gorean slave girls call each other sa’for a in public--literally, ‘sister of the chain,’ in private they often refer to each other as sa’danra--sister in misery.

Pretty much the antithesis of John Norman's philosophy of female slavery!

I'm going to assume the commentors looked at the titles Panther Tales and Dove's Tale (ok there's a fair criticism...I don't put much effort into titles!) and assumed they were about meek, obedient little play toys. In reality (SPOILER ALERT!) both stories concern women who are abducted for the purpose of sexual servitude, and proceed to fight back with everything they have...and ultimately TRIUMPH.

There are a LOT of things you can criticize about those stories, but I honestly think it's unfair to accuse me of pandering to the misogynistic.

In the case of this story, these young ladies were chosen by gods who love them to take this role. Doesn't it make sense that said gods would select women they knew would thrive and be happy?

Anyway, I do appreciate the feedback, and hope to have Ch. 4 up within two weeks.

Don't pay attention to the critical comments. Some people are unhappy if their ice cream is cold. I never understand why people have to criticize anyone just because they can. The only constructive criticism of your story is the length of time between chapters. Please continue, for every critic there are a hundred fans. Chris

Sk, you are correct in pointing out that i had kneejerked unfair assumptions about the genre of your stories based upon nothing more than the story descriptions on your author's postings.

yup, that makes me the ass! hee-haw, in-deed...

as we readers so cantankerously demand that the writer's meet our whimsical expectations. the writer's are justified in demanding that the commentaries accurately address the specific story.

and there should be a mutual realization that opinions are not verified facts. no matter how stubbornly we insist upon the correctness of our cherished notions.

oh my gawd! i'm starting to sound reasonable. whom woulda believed that possiblity?

Hello hello hello, it's time for your weekly dose of Dennis! *round of recorded applause* Thank you, thank you, now let's jump right in to today's episode: Through the gate of the gods, chapter 3 review! *anouncer voice* Previously on Dennis' review, he was in painstaking indecision and suspense about where he wanted the story line to go, and anxiously awaited the next chapter to see what the author had I store! Will Dennis be impressed by what he has read, or will for the first time in this series, Dennis be disappointed? Let's find out!

So! To start with the good work, your character building and setting creation are excellent, however I've remarked on this previously, so I won't go into it in too much detail. One thing that I'd love to see is adding a sense of smell, do the blindingly white rooms smell clinical? Or perhaps, they smell different based on what each girl perceives? Something as small as this in my opinion would really round out the immersion of the reader into the story, by describing all the senses. You're doing a great job in building the sexual excitement in the story, and by taking it slowly, you're putting us readers through just as much sexual tension as the girls themselves! This is both a good, and worrisome thing; Make sure that when the climax finally does come, that it lives up to the expectations that you've set in the previous chapters. Or failing that, make it a major plot point, so we're not disappointed when things go astray, to leave our characters (and ourselves) frustrated. You've been doing a fantastic job in story length and content, and while I have more to say on that topic, I'll leave it to the next section.

First with the sugar, now with the salt, constructive criticism time! While I agree that taking it slow with the girls is the right way to progress the story, I am increasingly worried that this will become an empty story in terms of plot - not everything can go right in a story, and be satisfying for the reader. We like to read about conflict, struggle, and challenges, as it lets us root for (or against) characters in the story. It helps connect the reader to the world you're creating, as a perfect world seems irrealistic. Now, you may be saving up for a huge plot twist, but I'm concerned about in the mean time. A major plot twist only has the intended effect of shocking the reader if it was something they weren't expecting - and quite frankly I'm desperately wanting something, anything to go wrong. As such, the big kapow of the plot twist may lose some of its oomph. What happens if one of the girls turned out to be lesbian? After a life time of growing up with mostly only female contact, especially through puberty and teenage years, I'd expect it to be more common than what it appears to be. Maybe in the religious text mentioned at the beginning of the story has a test for that? Simply put, this story needs an antagonist. Whether it's character vs character, or nature, or society, or even God, it needs something to strive for. Another small note to mention, you are still having some grammar troubles, especially with what I assume to be auto-correct. The big one I noticed in this chapter was the confusion of 'their' and 'they're' and 'there'. By 'big' I mean a handful of times, so nothing major, but it still caused me to reread a section to make sure I was understanding it right, and caused a hiccup in the flow of the story. I don't mean to be harsh at all, but I figure this is the constructive criticism section, I may as well be honest.

In conclusion, I was a tad underwhelmed with this chapter, and as such it is the first to only get 4/5 stars from me. I think that with some careful plot planning, you can really make this story sing, but now it's crunch time; Wherever you decide to take this story, I feel it will be decided in the next chapter or two. Especially after you've shown yourself to be an incredible writer in your previous chapters, I truly hope that you shine through and impress us all. But hey, nobody likes a critic, so take my words with a touch of salt. I'm just an anonymous critic, and you're to writer, and no matter where you take the story you're doing it better than I ever would have! Even if what the final product turns out to be isn't exactly what I would have wanted it to be, it's YOUR story, and you'll end up writing it the way you damn well want to ;)

Best of luck, and I hope to see the next chapter up soon!

Cheers,

Dennis

Dennis I do read and ponder your comments, and greatly appreciate the time&effort you take to make them. No, I'm not setting up a big Shyamalan moment, There will be a few thorns among the roses along the way, but this is mostly gonna be a happy story.

And I'll watch the theres better!