All Comments on 'Through the Mists of Time'

I was leery when I saw your fic was in second-person, but you handled it reasonably well... the sentences are a little short, a little jarring, but it's not bad.

But as soon as I hit the word "ass," I was thrown right out of the story. I couldn't finish it. Your story seems interesting, but even one word that is so out-of-sync with the rest can ruin it for a reader.

It was quite good up till then, though.