Ticketed

"You see, I knew you were a kind, caring person," he told her.

Donna smiled and thanked him.

They chatted some more about her job at County General before Donna felt compelled to beat the dead horse a little more.

"I know I sound like a broken record, but help me understand why...well, why...me. I'm flattered, of course, but I'm wondering if maybe I'm...I don't know...some kind of novelty or something."

"Novelty?" Matt asked.

"Well, yeah. You know, the older woman thing. Maybe someone...different. Something new or..."

"How do you know I don't date women your age all the time?" he asked trying not to smile.

Donna had a confused look then asked, "Do you?"

"No. Never. At least not before tonight. And that's only if this is actually even a date." Matt paused then said, "Which I'd kind of like it to be."

"Matt, please. I'm very flattered. I truly am. I wasn't kidding when I said this has been a difficult year for me."

She looked into his eyes and smiled before saying, "And I meant it when I said you made me feel good. I...I hate being vain. I wish I could forget about age and looks and rules. But the truth is, I do worry about getting old and becoming invisible. I watch for those tiny lines every day, I obsess about my figure, and I dread my birthday more each year."

She moved closer then said, "Matt. You're so young and yes, you're very handsome. If I was 35... Okay, if I was even 45, then maybe. I mean, who knows? But I'm... You see, I can't even say it out loud."

"You make it sound like I'm about to propose to you," Matt said kindly.

"I'm sorry," Donna said. "This really is all so new and so...foreign to me. I was married for 23 years and dated Frank two years before that. I was so sure that by waiting until I was..." She smiled then admitted she couldn't even say her age back then because it was tantamount to saying it now.

"We've established you were hurt. We've also established your husband was a fool. Sorry, but he was. We've also established you're um...older than me. Okay. I got it. I get it. It's all true. But unless I'm really off base, it seems to me you're having a good time. So tell me why..."

"Oh, my God," Donna said as something caught her eye.

"What is it?" Matt said thinking 'crime' and reaching for his concealed weapon.

"That couple over there by the door. We were good friends with them for years. If they see me here..."

"With me?" Matt asked with a slight hint of annoyance for the first time. "Is that what you're worried about, Donna?"

"Matt, please," she said. "Try and understand. I mean, what would you think if you..."

Just then Matt heard a female voice call out, "Donna? Is that you?"

"Oh, dear Lord," she said as the couple approached.

"Donna! I thought that was you!" the older woman said. She gave Donna a faux kiss on each cheek and acted as though Matt wasn't even there.

"So how have you been? We've missed you, you know. Do you hear from Frank?"

"Oh, not really. He's..."

The woman finally looked at Matt and when she did her eyes opened wide.

"And who might this be?" she said as she stared at him trying to make sense of things.

"Oh, um. This is, um..."

Matt pulled back his jacket and showed her his shield.

"I'm Officer Jamison with the Seattle Police Department. I thought perhaps this woman saw a suspect we're looking for pass through here. I was asking her a couple of questions when she saw you."

Matt stood up then said to Donna, "I think that's more than enough, ma'am. I have all the information I need."

He nodded to the other woman then to her husband and said, "If you'll excuse me..."

Donna sat there and watched him walk away feeling worse than she could ever remember except for the day Frank told her he was leaving. She wanted to run after him and yet she was also incredibly relieved not to have to explain what she was doing there with someone Megan's age.

"He's a cutie," the other woman said. "For a minute there I was wondering if maybe you'd drank the same water as Frank!"

"Oh, no. We just met," Donna said not wanting to clarify what 'just' meant when it came to Matt and hoping her friend wouldn't notice the other glass of wine.

"Well, too bad. I know if I were suddenly single...no offense, dear," she said to her husband, "I think I'd let that handsome young boy frisk me all he wanted."

Her husband grabbed her arm then said, "And she hasn't even had a drink yet, Donna. Sorry to bother you."

And with that she was sitting there all alone with a nearly-full glass of red wine and no one to drink it with. She pulled out her phone, called a cab, and went to the exit to wait.

On the ride home, her driver looked back and thought he saw her blinking away tears.

"You okay?" he asked.

Donna looked up at him then said, "Yeah. I'm fine. I'm a fool, but I'm fine."

The cabby didn't say anything else. He'd been around long enough to know when to keep his mouth shut and this was one of those times.

Donna was very thankful not have to go to work the next day as a part of her was dreading having to explain to DeeAnne what had happened. Another part of her was hoping that her friend had had a wonderful time and that perhaps there might be something more there with Bruce.

"Unlike me with Matt," she muttered as she finally closed her eyes a little after 2am.

Donna spent most of the next day doing what she did best—beating herself up. The good news was she was no longer blaming herself for the end of her marriage. The bad news was she couldn't stop feeling guilty for the way she'd acted.

"How childish could you be?" she asked herself several times during the day. "You just sat there like you were embarrassed to be seen with him. Then again, you were embarrassed to be seen with him so..."

She did her best to justify her behavior knowing there wasn't any kind of possible future relationship. Having it over and done was a good thing—wasn't it? At least that's what she had to keep telling herself in between bouts of sadness and guilt.

It was a little after 6pm when her phone rang.

"Oh, great," she said to herself when she saw it was DeeAnne.

Donna took a deep breath, smiled because she knew the other person could tell, and cheerfully said, "Well, hello there!"

"Hey! I know you're working tomorrow, but I couldn't wait to talk to you!"

"I take it last night went well for you?" Donna said.

"Oh, you could say that," DeeAnne told her. Donna could almost feel the excitement in her friend's voice.

"Okay, so...?"

"No, you first!" DeeAnne said. "How did things go with Officer Friendly, aka Matt?"

"Okay," Donna said hoping to avoid discussing it.

"Just...okay?" she said. "Come on, you guys seemed to be having such a good time."

"It's the age difference," Donna told her.

"So...that's it? You're not going to see him again?" DeeAnne asked clearly disappointed.

"No, I don't think so. But I do want to hear about your evening!" Donna said feigning happiness as she felt like crying again.

DeeAnne went on and on about what a great time they had. After dinner, they went someplace private and talked for several hours. He not only kissed her goodnight but asked her out again on Saturday.

"I'm so happy for you," Donna told her doing her best to keep her voice steady.

"Thanks! We were kind of hoping you and Matt might join us, but if that's out of the question..."

"Yeah, I don't see us getting together again," she said quickly.

"That's too bad. He seems really nice. Not to mention to-die-for gorgeous. You know, like you."

"Ahh! Thank you for saying that, DeeAnne. So...I guess I'll see you in the morning, huh?"

"Yes, you will. And Donna? I'm so glad you asked me to go with you. Thank you!"

She wasn't about to tell her she'd invited herself. She simply said, "I'm glad it worked out so well for you. Bruce seems nice."

"Yeah. He is. I think I really like him, Donna," she gushed.

They hung up, and Donna only felt worse. She was happy for her friend, but the way she'd behaved was killing her.

"Look at the bright side," she said to herself. "At least you have something new to beat yourself up with now."

Donna managed to fend DeeAnne off until lunchtime when the younger woman essentially forced her to join her in the cafeteria. In spite of her best efforts to keep the focus on DeeAnne's social life, she was having none of it.

"Something's wrong, Donna. Please tell me what happened," her friend said with genuine sincerity.

"I'm just so embarrassed, DeeAnne. I behaved like a child and Matt's never going to want to talk to me again, so I don't see any reason to hash it all out," Donna said willing to share only so much information.

"But you guys seemed to be having such a nice time. Bruce said he's never seen Matt as into a woman as you so...what in the world went so wrong so fast?"

Donna could see the concern in DeeAnne's eyes and finally relented.

"Things were going well. Very well, in fact. We walked to The Purple Cafe and..."

"Seriously? That's a very nice place," DeeAnne said interrupting.

"It is. Frank and I used to go there and as luck would have it, a couple we used to spend time with saw me."

"Okay. And they saw you. So what's the big deal?" DeeAnne asked.

"Looking back, there wasn't one. But when I saw them, I panicked."

"I'm lost. What do you mean you panicked?"

"I...I suddenly felt embarrassed sitting with Matt. Well, maybe not so much Matt but a guy his age and when my friends—or maybe I should say 'former friends' since I haven't seen them since Frank walked out—came over, I was too embarrassed to admit I was there with Matt and he could tell."

"Oh, my goodness. What happened?"

"Matt picked up on it immediately, of course. When they asked if we were together, he flashed his badge and told them he was just asking me questions about some guy the police were looking for. He told them he had all the information he needed with the not-so-subtle implication being he knew enough about me not to want to stay another minute. He just got up and walked out."

"I...I don't know what to say." DeeAnne just sat there looking at her for a moment before asking, "Were you really embarrassed to be seen with him?"

"No. I mean...yes. Well, I was at the time. I can't really explain it. I mean, we really were having a nice time."

Donna looked right at DeeAnne and told her, "He even kissed me."

"What? Matt kissed you and you agreed to go the cafe with him, yet after agreeing to go you still felt that uncomfortable being seen with him? Am I getting this?"

"I know. It's sounds like I'm schizophrenic or something. I don't know. Maybe I am. I haven't had such a good time in...forever, you know? And I really do like him, but DeeAnne, he's...he's really young!"

"I feel so bad for you, Donna. Do you want me to ask Bruce if he's still upset?"

"No! Please don't do that. I already feel foolish enough. No, it'll be best to just put this behind me and chalk it up to experience. The last thing I need is to let him know how bad I feel after treating him like that."

DeeAnne put her hand on Donna's and said, "It seems to me that would be the first thing you need to do. Unless, of course, you really don't like him or want to spend more time with him."

She paused again then asked, "Do you?"

"I don't know, DeeAnne. I mean, what's the use, right? What's going to happen? We go out, we talk, we laugh, and...what?"

"And you enjoy yourself, and then you decide from there. Look, if you don't like him, that's one thing. If you do like him and you think the age thing is so formidable you can't get passed it, that's another. But I just don't see it like that. Sure, it's different. Yes, it's unorthodox. But there's nothing wrong with it and if you enjoy each other's company, why not see him again? Even if it eventually fizzles out, you can still have fun until it does. After that, you can try and move on to someone...more your age, if that's what you want."

Donna made a bit of a face then said, "Gee, thanks for bringing that up!"

Donna now paused for a bit then said, "You know what's really funny? When we were together...you know, just the two of us...I didn't see him as younger than me. I guess deep down I still feel like I'm that age, and he just seemed like a really nice...really good-looking guy I wanted to be with."

"Yeah, and then your friends walked in and reminded you of reality and you got spooked. I get it. But what I don't get is not at least apologizing to him and letting him know how you feel."

Donna just there looking at her food.

"Why don't you call him and talk to him?"

"I don't know, DeeAnne. You can't imagine how foolish I feel. Why would he even think about going out with me again after that?"

"You'll never know unless you ask and the fact that you're concerned about tells me you'd like to see him again. Am I right?"

"Maybe," Donna said. "Okay, yes. You're right. I would like to see him again. I just don't know if I can be big enough to pick up the phone and call him."

"I have an idea!" DeeAnne said with a bright smile. She explained it to Donna who was horrified at first then found herself laughing and finally agreeing to think about it.

*****

"So she was embarrassed to be seen with you in public?" Bruce asked Matt the following day at work.

"More like ashamed if you ask me," Matt explained.

"That's pretty fucked up, man."

"Yeah, it um...stung pretty bad."

"I understand," Bruce said. "I'm not sure I could follow my own advice, but is it possible she deserves a second chance?"

Matt went to speak, but Bruce held up a hand and said, "Hear me out. She was married for what? Twenty-five years or something?"

"About that," Matt told him.

"Okay, and she hasn't dated much or at all since her schmuck husband bailed on her, right?"

"I got the impression I might be the first guy she's gone out with or even hung out with since then, so yeah, that sounds about right."

"Right. So that means she's never gone out with someone who's, you know, a lot younger than her. Even if she dated younger guys before she got married, the age difference couldn't have been that um...extreme."

"Yeah, so?" Matt asked.

"So maybe she was having a great time and seeing these old friends, friends her own age, made her panic. Maybe she just needed a little more time to get used to the idea of being with a younger guy. People need time to process that stuff, you know? Any relationship takes time, right? But when there's something that unusual—not wrong, just...different—then I can see how someone could react that way. Maybe you should give her another chance."

Matt smile and said, "You know what? You're not as dumb as you look."

Bruce gave him a playful shove then said, "Come on. Let's go. You don't want to be late."

"No kidding," Matt said. "The sergeant is a real asshole."

Bruce clapped him on the shoulder and as they walked out told Matt, "Now with DeeAnne and me, things couldn't be better."

"Really. Okay, sarge. Gimme the scoop."

Bruce gave him the down-and-dirty version of well things went and let him know they were going to a Sonics basketball game that weekend.

"Why don't you ask Donna to come with?"

"I dunno, man. If you could have seen the look on her face when her friend asked about me..."

"Her friend can kiss my ass. All that matters is what Donna thinks. Give her a call, Matt. Something tells me she's probably hopin' you will."

"Yeah, okay. Maybe I'll do that," he said as they walked into the briefing room to start their tour.

Matt didn't call that night nor did he call for the next two days. Every time he thought about it, he remembered the horrified look on Donna's face. Bruce told him he'd tried to get information out of DeeAnne, but she wasn't talking.

"Well, except for one thing. She asked if you were on duty tomorrow morning."

"I am, but why do you think she asked?" Matt wanted to know.

"I got nothin'. All she wanted to know was if you were working tomorrow."

"You think she's coming here? To the precinct?" Matt asked.

"Hmmm. I don't know. I guess maybe that's possible. Why else would she ask, right?"

Matt shook his head and said, "That would really suck."

"Well, then you should call her," Bruce told him.

"Yeah. I should," was all Matt said.

He forgot about it the rest of the day, but kept an eye out for a very attractive, older woman the next day until he got out on his motorcycle. There'd been no sign of her so once again, he shelved the idea assuming she had no further interest in him.

He headed out making his rounds and performing security checks at a couple of places then proceeded on watching for traffic violations or other infractions of the law.

Each time he passed by the place where he wrote Donna the ticket or the light where they spoke, he couldn't help but think of her. Then again, he pretty much thought about her all the time. It really was pretty crazy that a woman her age, even after what had happened, was on his mind so often. After all, it wasn't like he couldn't find another woman to date; he just didn't have any interest in doing so.

He was just over a block away when he looked up ahead and saw someone twirling one of those 'arrow' things businesses used to try and get people to come in and buy something. Seattle required any business doing that to get a permit and he wasn't aware of any business having applied for one in the area.

As he got closer he pulled into the right lane so he could stop and ask to see the vendor's paperwork. He was maybe 50 yards away and driving about 25mph when he realized who was holding up the big, white sign with the bright-blue letters.

As he slowed down even more, he read the words on the sign:

"Officer Jamison. I was a fool and a jerk! Please forgive me!" There was a big heart painted on both ends and there was Donna holding up the sign high over her head.

Matt parked his bike and got off. He removed his helmet as he walked over to her and said, "Excuse me, ma'am, do you have a permit to hold up that sign?"

Donna's heart was pounding as she looked at him and said, "No, officer. You might have to take me in."

She paused then said, "Or...ask me out?"

Before Matt could get a single word out, Donna said, "Matt? I am so sorry! I'm so embarrassed. I panicked. I acted like a child. I feel awful for the way I behaved. Can you please give me another chance? Please?"

Her eyebrows were raised high in hopeful expectation and Matt was less than two feet in front of her.

"You know we're always going to be the same amount of years apart, right? I mean, it's not like I can change that or anything."

"I...I don't want you to change that. Or...anything. I just want you to try and forgive me and maybe let us start over," she said rather sheepishly but with a lot of hope.

"I've never dated anyone more than four years older than me," Matt said in reply. "This is all very new to me."

"Same here," she told him. "I've never even gone out with someone younger than me before. Not even one year younger. Until...you know."

"So if I agree to try this again can we agree to take it one day at a time? One step at a time?"

Donna was so happy she wanted to throw her arms around him and kiss him right there. Instead she settled for smiling happily and saying, "I don't see any other way to make this work."

"Would you like...this...to work?" Matt asked.

"I...would," she said. "I can't say I won't do or say something else really boneheaded, but I can promise you I'll never act like that again. Matt, I...I can't tell you how bad I've felt even since. That really was inexcusable."

Matt smiled and told her, "Not really. Bruce put it in perspective for me. In fact, he told me you probably felt bad about it and that I should call you. I wanted to, I just couldn't..."