Time After Time

"Hal," I said as we were waiting for our food, "please don't be upset by this question, but would you have apologised to me if it hadn't been for your grandmother?"

Hal considered for a moment. "I think I'd have got round to it sooner or later, maybe much too late to sound sincere. I'm not really a horrible person and my conscience would have won eventually, in fact it had already started when Grandma gave me that impetus. I think maybe my reaction when you suggested we had previous lives was partly to do with my mother. Because of her church's bigotry I tend react badly to any suggestion of religion or an afterlife." She pulled a rueful face. "Imagine going into an afterlife only to find that they are still homophobic up there. But I shouldn't blame others, I didn't have to be so unpleasant—that was down to me. I was just... oh, I don't know..."

I put a hand on one of hers and gave a little squeeze. "I think I can see why you feel the way you do. Let's forget all that now and just try to learn about each other."

We talked non-controversial things for a while then Hal asked: "Is Berry really your given name or is it a nickname?"

"It's short. I'm actually called Bernice."

"Why, that's a lovely name, sweet and old-fashioned."

I looked closely at Hal, thinking she might be poking fun at me but she seemed sincere. "My mother read it in some book and liked it," I said, "How about you? Is Hal short for Haldora?"

"No, my name's Henrietta."

"Oh, that's another nice old name. Why Hal?"

"It's from primary school," Hal told me, "One day our teacher was telling us about Henry the Fifth's wars against the French. She mentioned that when young, Henry was sometimes called 'Hal'. So the other kids started calling me Hal and I liked it, insisted that everyone call me Hal from then on."

We finished our meal with a shared plate of chocolate fudge cake and went on to a nearby pub for a drink. Afterwards, Hal walked me home. On impulse I slipped a hand into hers as we walked. Again I felt that odd connection. Hal glanced at me, surprised, but didn't pull away. Rather, her grip tightened a little. When we arrived at my place Hal seemed a smidgeon uncertain, if not embarrassed. "Well, thanks for coming out with me, it was nice," she muttered and turned to go.

"Wait, Hal," I called, "we agreed to call this a date. Supposing we change that to our first date. I'd really like to see you again. Do you want to meet up?"

"Yes, I'd like that but I wasn't sure whether you'd want to."

"I want to. How about a pub lunch tomorrow?" I suggested, "Let's go out of town. We could go to The Lazy Badger. We'll take my car."

Hal smiled happily. "It's a date. I'm staying with my grandparents again tonight, I'll give you the address to pick me up."

"And I'll give you my number if you'd like to put it on your mobile."

Once more there was an embarrassed look on Hal's face. She dug her phone from her jacket pocket and handed it to me. "Will you do it, please? I'm an idiot when it comes to technology. I can phone and I can text but when I try to do something clever like entering a new number, I always bollix it up. One time I ended up calling a tattoo parlour in Singapore."

I laughed, mainly at the image of some mystified Chinese tattoo artist being asked the time of the next bus to Newcombe Parva. I entered my number and as I returned Hal's phone I grabbed hold of her for a hug and kissed her cheek.

Hal

The evening had gone far better than expected and I really enjoyed Berry's company. I had experienced an unfamiliar little lurch inside when she'd taken my hand, and when she told me she'd like to see me again, and yet again when she'd kissed my cheek. It was only hand-holding and only a little kiss and yet something deep within me had been aroused. She had obviously forgiven me without question and I wondered if I could have been so magnanimous.

Either I was running a bit late Sunday morning or Berry was a little early but I was just stepping out of the shower when she arrived. I heard Grandma greeting her and inviting her in. She called up the stairs that my friend was here.

"Be down in a moment," I responded. The moment extended a bit to fifteen minutes or so—for the first time in ages I was taking extra care over my appearance, ensuring that my hair was just so and that my clothes were eye-catching. I'm not much of a girl for make-up but this time I applied some very carefully so that I looked as good as possible. And all the while I was asking myself, Why go to all this trouble for someone who's only a friend and a new friend at that? For that's the way I believed I was thinking of Berry at that time. Finally I was ready.

I found Grandma and Berry in the sitting-room, side-by-side on the sofa, gossiping away as if they were life-long buddies. Berry got up and gave me a little kiss on the cheek and then another on the other cheek, very Continental. She whispered: "You look lovely, Hal." Behind Berry's back Grandma gave me a broad smile and a thumbs-up while Grandpa lowered his Sunday newspaper and nodded approval. Plainly they liked Berry.

Berry was wearing another of her wonderful t-shirts and I made a note to enquire where she bought them. This one showed a full rainbow, at either end of which reclined a naked, golden-skinned woman. The caption read: There's Gold Where The Rainbow Ends.

The Lazy Badger is a sixteenth century coaching inn at Merrovale, a village about seven miles from town. Their food is great and they serve a very decent pint of bitter.

We had a good lunch there and then spent an hour or so wandering in the woodland behind the pub. Berry took my hand again as we walked and we interlocked fingers. Her small hand was warm and I felt a strange blend of indescribable emotions coursing through my body, emotions that I had never felt with any other girl, especially not with Amber. In fact, every time Berry touched my hand my breath seemed to stop for a few seconds and my heart gave a little flip. There was definitely some kind of connection there.

On the way back into town Berry drove to an area I knew only slightly and drew up outside a medium-sized detached house. "My parents' place, come in and meet them. My brother's away at college so you don't have to endure him yet."

I was reluctant. "Isn't it a bit soon for meeting family?" I said.

"So? I've met your grandparents already." Berry grabbed my hand and tugged me along the drive. "Come along and don't worry, they won't bite."

"They know you're gay?"

"Since I was about fourteen—they're happy enough about it. They were great about it when I came out."

If I had seen Berry's parents, Noel and Lydia, in the street, I might have been amused. Berry obviously got her height from her father who couldn't have been much more than five-four. His head was bald, merry eyes twinkled and huge ears stuck out, giving an overall impression of a mischievous gnome. By contrast, Berry's mother was tall, about five-nine or -ten, slim and still very attractive, almost, but not quite, as attractive as her daughter. Now where had that thought come from? Banter between Lydia and Noel suggested that they totally adored one another. Both greeted me with warm hugs as if they had known me for years.

Naturally enough, the general conversation eventually crept round to questions about my family, not intrusive but simply interested. I explained that my grandparents had cared for me from my mid-teens, adding that I had no idea where my father was and that I was estranged from my mother.

"Can I ask why?" Lydia said, adding: "You'll get used to me being nosy, Hal, if I want to know something I ask. If you don't want to tell me, that's okay too."

"No, it's all right—she disowned me way back because I'm gay. She's an Exclusive of the Redeemer."

"Oh, them. Well, Hal, if you're ever in need of a mother-daughter talk and your grandma can't help, then you're welcome to come to me. I'm a great listener."

I could barely conceal my astonishment at this. "But... but you don't know me."

Lydia gave a sigh and rolled her eyes up in mock exasperation. "Hal, where in the rule book does it say you have to know someone to be kind to them?"

* * * * *

It turned out that Berry had talents over and above her work skills. She designed those brilliant t-shirts herself and had them made up by a friend in the business. One morning she came into the shop and handed me a wrapped package. An attached card read: 'For my newest and loveliest friend.'

It was a Berry t-shirt with a cartoon of wide-eyed Betty Boop seated on an upturned rainbow, a string of musical notes indicating that she was singing, while above her the Man-in-the-Moon grinned and winked. The caption was a couple of lines from an old 1950s song: "...give me the moonlight/give me the girl/and leave the rest to me..." I loved the t-shirt. In return I sent Berry a single rose—on the card I wrote 'New friends and friends forever, I hope.' Me, little old unromantic me—and I thought that Amber Lytton had kicked the romance out of me.

I guess it wasn't all that long before Berry and I were becoming an item. We were certainly accepted as such in The Deep Velvet Bar, with even Tina warming to me... a little...

I'm not sure exactly when I fell in love with Berry but fall I did... it somehow crept up on me, hitting me hard and fast... for ever...

* * * * *

One night I had the strange dream again and then it became more than one night—I found I was having the dream on average once a week.

I was old, that much I was aware of, and I was lying in a deep, soft bed. I could see the flickering of a roaring fire in the grate and the room was stiflingly hot. The room itself was in was dark-panelled and lit only by two or three old-fashioned oil lamps. There were two other persons in the room, of that I'm sure, for one of them, I think a young man, lifted a hand to feel my pulse. "Well, the old boy can't last much longer," he said, "Surprised he's lasted this long." He dropped my hand back as if it was something repulsive... I knew that I was dying but instead of being scared I felt there was something comforting about the onset of death's embrace.

The second person in the room was, I knew, an old friend. He was a doctor and I assumed the younger man was too. I heard my friend admonish his colleague and then I said something about dying being an adventure. Suddenly I was floating down a long tunnel towards an intense white light.

This was the point where the dream always ended and I awoke. The first time I'd had the dream it seemed familiar. After the second time, memories came flooding back. The dream was nothing new—I recalled variations of it throughout my childhood and teenage years, probably dating back to when I was a small girl. Those early dreams, which were every few months at first, later on occurring on average once a year, had not been as detailed as they were now; mostly they had consisted of lying in the huge, soft bed and then floating towards the white light. They seemed to have stopped when I turned fifteen or so. I realised something else—the dream had returned with a vengeance since I'd met Berry.

Ah hell, why should I be concerned? No doubt my subconscious was clearing out some daytime rubbish. A dream is just a dream... right?

Berry

Hal and I were in my flat where we had eaten an early supper and then watched a repeat of the film Ghost on TV. I guess the film triggered what came next. We were holding hands and Hal gave mine a little squeeze before saying: "Berry, I'm not being snotty now but can I ask you something personal?" Her expression as she spoke was slightly embarrassed.

"Anything you like."

"Why do you believe in reincarnation? I'm not trying to be awkward—I'd really like to know." Hal and I had been dating for several weeks and I was pleased she could now ask this touchy question without any intention of causing offence .

"It just seems like the best answer to me," I told her, "In cosmic terms a human life is nothing, less that the blink of an eye. It's so short there must be something more to it than that. I don't see sitting on a cloud strumming a harp for ever as the answer nor do I accept the idea of eternal torment in some kind of a hell. So, rebirth to give you a chance to make things better, to make yourself better."

"What about really bad people?" asked Hal, "Would they get another chance?"

"I think so, although their next few lives will be damned tough on them. I suppose the truly evil ones, those who may never improve, might just be obliterated." I was holding both her hands now and gazed intently into her eyes. "The first time I saw you outside your shop, I felt this huge connection between us even though we hadn't met or spoken. That's why I believe we've been together before, perhaps often. But what about you, Hal, do you believe in anything?"

Hal took a sip of her wine before replying. "I don't honestly know," she admitted, "My experience with religion hasn't been a happy one. I know that not all Christians are as awful as the Exclusives but they have poisoned my outlook. I suppose at best you could say I'm agnostic—I can't see any proof for or against. My head tells me there's nothing after this life, my heart hopes there will be."

We sat in silence for a while before I spoke again. "Hal, tell me the truth now. Are you attracted to me?"

"Yes, very much. I think you're one of the loveliest girls I've known."

"Yet you've never made a move on me. I know... before you say anything I know I haven't made a pass either. I thought maybe you needed time because of Amber." Hal had told me about Amber and her subsequent lack of trust in women.

"That's partly it." Hal lifted one of my hands and kissed it, the first time she'd done such a thing. "I was so nasty to you that first time in The Deep Velvet Bar and I didn't want to risk any more upset. There's more, Berry. I've felt the connection too and it frightens me a little."

I grabbed Hal's face in my hands. "Listen to me. You apologised for being nasty and your apology was sincere. That's behind us. End of. As regards our 'connection', there is nothing to be scared of, not if we don't let it. And I'm no Amber Lytton, you'll not catch me in bed with a dildo-rampant dyke. Now I'm going to kiss you, Hal Mercer, and you're going to like it or I'm losing my touch."

I pressed my lips to Hal's and her arms went around me as she responded. Long seconds passed until we drew apart. "Well?"

There was a look akin to wonder on Hal's face. "I said I'm attracted to you, Berry," she said, her voice husky, "That's wrong. I'm in love with you. I've never felt like this before."

"I've been in love with you ever since I first saw you," I told her, "You were in mucky dungarees getting a take-out from the baker's shop and you were lovelier than any famous supermodel. I knew straight away you were the one. It was like... oh, I don't know... a punch in the gut but a lovely punch in the gut—that's when I thought we'd been together before."

"Come here." Hal pulled me towards her and this time she kissed me. Her lips were soft and sweet and her tongue crept out to caress my mouth. I opened so that our tongues could mingle. Her free hand, which was slightly rough from her work, reached up to stroke my cheek gently. I unfastened the top buttons of her shirt and kissed the silky skin beneath. Hal was wearing a light cologne and I inhaled her scent with pleasure. She moaned a little and breathed out a single word: "Berry..."

I opened a couple more buttons and reached into her shirt to cup one of her bra-covered boobs. Hal's breasts didn't seem to be too large but I could feel a hard nipple pressing against the bra as if begging to be let out. I started to reach around her back but: "It fastens in the front," she whispered. Her boobs weren't exceptionally big when I uncovered them but they were firm and upright and a little over a handful for someone of my size. And Hal's erect nipples were exquisite, long and thick and light chocolate in colour and I took one in my mouth to bite on it gently.

Hall pulled my head up to kiss me again, her lively tongue exploring all corners of my mouth. Pulling back from me she whispered: "Play fair, Berry, let me see your boobs."

"Don't be disappointed," I said, "I'm a bit flat-chested."

"I don't care how flat-chested you are as long as you haven't got a dangling dick down below," she laughed.

"Believe me, I'm all girl where it matters." I raised my arms adding: "All yours." Hal lifted my embroidered top over my head to find that I was bare to the waist. With boobs like mine bras are really a waste of money. I might need them as I grow older but that's a long way off.

"Berry, you're gorgeous, I love your boobs, they're so pretty." Lowering her head, she licked first one and then the other and then drew almost all of my right boob into her mouth, suckling on my hard little nipple until it felt bigger than it had ever done. Not one of my previous lovers had affected me like that. Now it was my turn to moan as Hal switched her attention to my other breast. She dipped a finger into her wine and rubbed it all around my nipple before sucking and licking until it, too, seemed more engorged than ever before. I could feel my panties getting damp as moisture started to seep from kitty.

"Talking about fairness," I said, "let's get your shirt off so I can see you properly."

Hal finished unbuttoning her shirt and removed it together with her open bra. I made a little surprised noise. Her belly-button was pierced, adorned with a silver pentagram, and surrounded by a tattoo of the signs of the Zodiac. "A bit of defiance," Hal explained, "The Exclusives consider astrology to be the Devil's work so I had this done to show I couldn't give a stuff what they think."

"Well, I think it's lovely," I told her before leaning down to plant a lingering kiss on each one of the signs. Hal made contented little noises, holding my head close to her as I went the rounds starting and finishing with Aries. I began to kiss my way slowly up her body and between her breasts until I reached the warm hollow at the base of her throat. Again I latched onto one of those wonderful nipples of hers, holding her boob between my hands while Hal pulled and twisted the other nipple. An agile tongue flicked at my ear and sharp little teeth nibbled the rim while short, blunt fingernails raked my back.

Then we were kissing avidly once more, tongues fighting lovingly for supremacy, both of us making tiny moans of pleasure. My panties felt soaked by now and I wriggled my backside, trying to stop them becoming stuck in my honeypot.

Hal pulled away so that she could reach and undo the zip on my skirt. She pulled the garment away, leaving me in my lace panties, and ran a finger up the wet crotch. Hal bent her head to my lap and kissed my vulva through the panties. "Oh God, Berry..." she moaned, "I can smell you... so delicious..."

With a slight struggle, I managed to get Hal's jeans down around her ankles, and then I had another struggle to get her shoes off before removing the jeans completely. She was wearing boxer shorts rather than knickers and I couldn't help laughing—they were decorated with 'Garfield' cartoons, kitty covering kitty as it were. I slipped my hand down the front, giggling at the thought that I might be goosing Garfield.. The pubic hair on Hal's mound felt soft and curly as I ran my fingers through it before delving lower to find a smooth-shaven vulva. I rubbed her cleft, soaking my hand with her juices. As I did so, I could feel Hal's exploring finger slipping under the leg of my panties to caress my slit.