All Comments on 'Tina Tiny Tits - 18th Birthday Party'

Like the story. You need a proofreader and you need to learn how to use punctuation marks. But I like it. Tina should be the only one to have her father and she seems to love him even more than Brenda. By the way, better get his wife's name right. You gave her another name at one point.

Re: Punctuation. I try to punctuate to make the story more readable. I don't have an English language degree and inevitably, despite proofreading, some punctuation errors are very difficult to avoid. Getting a good editor is nigh impossible and no two editors will ever agree on punctuation.

Re: Names. When writing as an amateur on an amateur erotic story website, very occasionally names do get confused. It doesn't help much when 'anonymous' comments just give vague details about the errors made.

I write because I enjoy writing. I don't write because I want to win a Best Writer award.

Enjoyable characters.

There are some plot pauses that encourage jumping ahead but the big 'oops' was a name flip, there is a Lisa which doesn't fit.

Overall it works ...

Great story! Every man's dream: a young harem including his daughter, plus a sexy wife. I, for one, would love to read more of this tale (tail). Maybe Tiny-Tits Tina and one of her friends could accompany Mike on one of his shorter work trips - wouldn't be a lot of work done, I fear, but as long as he keeps his job, who cares. 'Liked calling a nipple a "tongue target" - 'don't recall seeing that one before. 'Could also describe a pussy, of course.

So many of the anonyme seem to read so they can critique the punctuation, grammar and vocabulary. English professor types, I fear, not story lovers. As long as the story flows, who cares? 'Bet you could find errors in "War And Peace", if you look hard.

Charming story. Good story, bold posits. I remember attending a few parties like these when I was Tina's age. Brought back some pleasant memories. Gave it a 5. Fuck the anonymous editor/grammarians. I liked it, and that's what counts. ;o)

At the final encounter, Mike wonders if Tina is a virgin while he's feeling her up, but when they finally fuck, no mention is made of whether he's taking her virginity or not.

I liked the story, but wish a bit more time would have been spent on detailing the sexual encounters. They seemed to fly by too quickly.

It was a good read. Not story heavy but you get what'd you'd expect-it's hot and the descriptions are neat, so I give it a thumb up. Grammar never took me out of the flow, but there is one thing that kind of caught me up. What was with the farting dude? First with Maria in the bathroom. You played it off as cute but that scene definitely didn't need it. I thought that was a one time thing but then you bring up again how the dad had smelt Tina's farts and hoped Maddy didn't have to suffer too. Is farting a fetish that I've been previously unaware of? If so, no shame. But if not, I really think the story would've been fine without those two little details. But maybe that's just me.