All Comments on 'Titus'

I like badass but this might be even cooler. Hopefully you give us more and more chapters soon! The only problem, you might want to work on your flow and grammar, they seemed a little off.

i like your stories and i am looking forward to continued developments in all of them

Interesting start to a new story, though you could have introduced the universe a bit beyond just the setting, there was no inkling on whether this was simply an alternate world or one with magic and such (A basic introduction on the magic system would be nice). The main character is alright, the disinterested pragmatic type can definitely be used to set-up some interesting situations and his reactions can be used to differentiate him from others as you've already said. His abilities I have no doubt you want to slowly unveil, but I am curious to know what ability he told the rest of the group he had during the short briefing and why Sarah was surprised about his abilities (was what he told the group different, or did he simply undervalue the level of his abilities?).

During the fight, I found weird that the other 4 from O.N were so easily killed, they were supposed to be all pretty skilled so their deaths were a bit abrupt. It's especially weird because they also had a defense specialist in their group who was supposed to know a whole repertoire of defense magics and who was supposed to be supporting them yet didn't manage to get any spells off despite them having the jump on the mercenaries? Maybe the mercenaries simply outclassed them but it was still surprising that none of the 4 managed to do anything before getting incinerated.

At the end of the battle, why did Titus only take money from Hernandez and not simply take all of the cash? He seemed to be an extreme pragmatist and didn't seem to be close to any of the 4 (felt no recrimination from their deaths), and it didn't seem like the money would go to the families(?) of the 4 so he might as well have taken all the monies.

As a side note, at the beginning you said that N.N was surrounded or at least separated from O.N by a titanium wall, that does not seem to be the most feasible of things (unless by magic) as the sheer amount would be staggering. The refining and manufacturing of titanium walls would be crazily expensive not to mention steel being typically stronger (and cheaper) but even using steel would be a momentous task (again unless you say that they used magic). It would make a lot more sense to just say that N.N was surrounded by immense concrete walls, using titanium for a large gate would be fine since titanium would be an ideal material for a gate due to its relatively light weight and being pretty strong, but for walls, not so much (unless there's some magical reason for using titanium).

I like that the disinterested one can kick a### if he wants to. Ironic really.

It's been said before but it doesn't hurt to repeat it: I love that Titus (love the name) is so strong and capable but generally doesn't seem interested in exerting that power. Basically, the strong/powerful don't have to boast about their abilities because they KNOW what they are capable of.

I get the feeling that he has some baggage (nightmares?) and that he and Sarah may get close, but need more to get a feel for her...so get to writing lol

YOU should be writing the continuing tales of Titus...

I'm truly loving this stroy I come on literotica when I'm bored and want to be intrested in a story. You have gone beyond that and made me anxious, excited, and pleased all at the same time. Please for the love of god keep these stories coming.

frankly speaking your stories are good. great build up of characters,good story line.

your all stories out of league which i am really enjoying reading.

man this is awesome I dont have anything else to say going to ch 2 now

I have not read your other stories so I'm not sure if this one ties in, but it would have been nice if you could have provided some background info on abilities and what not!

This first part is great and the ending was pretty funny.