To Love and Obey Ch. 03

"I'm sorry, Miss, I didn't mean for that to happen. Please, I don't want no trouble. I'll never do that again. Please, I swear it won't happen again, you don't need to be afraid of me."

"William, William, listen to me," I said trying to calm him. "Do you know who I am? My name is Cassie Grafton. Robert Grafton is my husband." William looked at me with disbelief and then fear. "You don't have anything to worry about, what happened is only between us, I wanted this . . . I wanted you to kiss me."

"No, you can't come here no more, Miss Cassie, it's too dangerous," he said almost angrily. "I can't be playing with you, Miss Cassie, you have no idea what could have happened out here."

"William, please, " I began.

"Go! Do you know what they would do to me if they ever found out that I had touched you, let alone kissed you? Just stay away from me, Miss Cassie."

With his back to me, he returned to his work. I stood there hurt and ignored.

After that, William tried to avoid me as much as he could and I tried to do the same, but I never failed to experience a renewed desire each time I saw him or heard news of him.

*****

Robert was so pleased with the craftsmanship William had shown with the construction of the wrought iron fence that he commissioned him to create scrolled window screens for all of the out buildings and the outside balcony doors on the second floor of the house. Because of this new work opportunity, William and I were thrown together and saw each other almost daily, talking, learning about with each other, becoming friends.

I learned William had attended school at a Negro college called Morehouse and had studied to become a lawyer. After graduating, not surprisingly, he couldn't find work and ended up falling back on a skill he had always been very good at, ironworking. William's family had been ironworkers for many, many years. He went into his family's ironworks business, married and lived in San Augustine. His life seemed perfect or, as perfect as it could be for a black man in East Texas, until his wife died. Soon after that, he packed up and moved here, to Center where his brother already lived. Not long after moving here, he saw me that morning walking down the street.

Things went on like this for several weeks, shared touches, meaningful looks and, eventually, stolen kisses. I felt a growing closeness toward him and could see from the way he looked at me, touched me, that he felt the same. We were different races. We knew 'race mixing' was forbidden to say nothing of illegal. What we were doing, what we wanted to do, could have devastating consequences but we found ourselves drawn to each other. Always watchful and afraid of being seen, always being careful not to appear too familiar when around others, particularly Robert and Janine.

As things would have it, one day there were errands I needed to take care of in town and Janine was unable to accompany me. William offered to ride with me into town. Our attraction for each other had made us careless more than once, and we had come close to being discovered by Janine. I knew Janine did not approve and had always been suspicious of William's intents, but I insisted on him accompanying me to town. William helped me into the buggy and climbed in the seat beside me as Janine stoically watched the buggy disappear down the drive.

We rode in silence, stealing sidelong glances at each other until he pulled off the road and hesitantly turned me to face him. I could see the desire etched across his strong, handsome black face and it sparked my own desire. He looked at me as if silently asking, "Are you sure, Cassie?" my eyes told him all that needed to be said.

We knew the risks, but we wanted each other. It was Texas in the early 1900s. Racial attitudes were deeply ingrained and I knew what I was doing was wrong. I wanted William; we wanted each other and nothing else seemed to matter. We made love for the first time that afternoon, foolishly refusing to acknowledge that if anyone had come upon us, him between my legs, his pulsing black cock buried inside me, they would have shot and killed without question or hesitation, and I would have been disgraced and ruined.

We began meeting at 'our place' in the woods whenever we could and would make love to the point of exhaustion. When the weather began to change, we'd go to William's small house where we would remove our clothes and crawl into his bed. The first time we went to the house, I remember the day was bright and clear outside, but the house was dim and cool inside. William walked from window to window opening the drawn curtains, flooding the small house with light.

"William, someone might see," I said nervously.

"No one will see, baby . . . no one comes out here unless I invite them."

"Look at me, Cassie," he said.

I looked up and saw William begin to remove his clothes, first his shirt revealing his broad chest, strong, powerful arms, and hard muscled stomach. When he removed his pants and underwear, I held my breath. Firm tight behind, long lean legs, and a long beautiful uncut penis. Of course we had had sex several times before then, and while it had been exciting, it had been often rushed, for fear of being discovered. Here in this room, with the sunlight flooding into the room, I was able to admire his body at my leisure. He was already in full, hard erection and it was all I could do not to kneel between his legs and take his cock into my mouth.

"Turn around, and I'll help you undress," he said. I raised my arms and unpinned my hair as he unbuttoned the back of my blouse. He tossed the blouse onto a chair and taking the hem of my camisole pulled it over my head freeing my breasts.

"They're beautiful," he said cupping each breast in each of his large warm hands. I marveled at the contrast of his dark skin caressing the whiteness of my breast and moaned aloud when he lowered his mouth and gently began teasing my nipples until they were hard and peaked.

"Hmmmm, more than a mouthful, but not quite a handful," he chuckled to himself.

"They're small, I know," I said self-consciously.

"Cass, they're just the way I like them . . . I couldn't wish for anything more beautiful or desirable," he said as he kissed the tip of each nipple.

He loosened my skirt and let it slip over my hips and fall to the floor about my feet. Stretching out his hand, he touched my belly, and let his hand trail downward to my center. His hand slipped into my underpants and I felt my legs grow weak when, pressing even closer to me, he palmed my moist mound slowly, rubbing against my bud. I exhaled, sighing "Oh, William . . ."

He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of my underpants and pulled them down letting them fall on the floor along with the discarded skirt. Taking my hand he helped me step out of the crumbled clothing to stand in front of him naked, as his eyes devoured me.

Watching me, he lowered his hand and rubbed his cock, which was so swollen it looked ready to explode. Thick and shiny, I stared, fascinated by the large pulsing vein on the underside of his cock, and the involuntary jerking as beads of pre-cum collected on the tip of his cockhead.

William was a tall, strong man, much bigger than my petite frame. Absently stroking himself, he came to me and backed me against the wall. He bent down and kissed me hard, almost painfully, his tongue exploring the inside of my mouth. He suddenly turned me around so that I faced the wall, spread my legs apart and penetrated me in one long, slow thrust.

"William, wait, wait," I said in surprise. But he continued, loving me hard and deep like this until I felt myself push back against him, grind my ass into him and plead with him not to stop.

"I want you to do it for me, baby. I'm not going to be able to hold off much longer and I want you to cum with me." His hand slipped around my hip and began to rub me as he thrust into me from behind. When he arched his back and pushed into me, the sound of his animalistic groans and grunts of sexual release ignited my own orgasm and we stood there against the wall, him slumped against my back, trembling, smelling of sex. . . satisfied.

I think back now and realize it wasn't always about hard, wet, passionate lovemaking. We would sometimes just lay in his bed, him encouraging me to touch myself as he watched, or to stroke him until he spurted threads of cum onto my breasts, stomach and face. I think his most pleasure came from plunging that black, veiny cock between my pale, white thighs, letting his black seed explode, as I was reduced to whimpering and squirming beneath him. I loved those times with him, leisurely pleasuring each other until it was time for me to leave and go home to Robert, my husband.

*****

It seemed to end all too quickly, William completed the job Robert hired him for and our excuse and opportunity to frequently see each other vanished. William found that the majority of his work was in or about town and I did not see him nearly as often as I wanted to or needed to.

One day, weeks after the job was completed, William came to the house. Robert was in town and Janine was with my mother helping her with the fall canning. Hearing a loud insistent knocking I opened the kitchen door, and stared in disbelief.

"What are you doing here? Oh, my god, William, suppose someone saw you, " I said with a shaky voice.

"Cassie," he said as he backed me into the room and returned to close and lock the door. "Come here, Cassie," he said rubbing his growing bulge.

"William, we can't, not here."

"Come here, Cassie," he said again. "Baby, I need to feel your hands on me. Take it out, unbutton my pants and take it out."

I stood there unnerved at first, but finally reached toward him and freed his magnificent cock. The feel of it in my hand reminded me of just how much I had missed him. William pressed me over the large kitchen table and lifted the hem of my housedress, pulling my underwear aside. "Oh . . . damn, Cassie," he murmured under his breath while pushing his thick, helmeted black cockhead inside me. I could feel it grow bigger, a mixture of pleasure and pain sizzled through me as he coaxed my body to stretch around his engorged cock.

There in the early morning, bent over the kitchen table where Robert had had his breakfast that morning, my black lover pounded into me until I screamed out his name, "Will . . .Willlllliam, William," the sound echoing throughout the house.

*****

My relationship with Robert had gone from bad to worse. I didn't know at the time what had set him off, though I did find out later it had something to do with his ex-wife. He had come home intoxicated and for the first time, belligerent, calling me names and making wild accusations. I had had enough. Regardless of the promise I had made my folks and my resolve to make the marriage work, I told him I was going to leave and divorce him. This infuriated him and he grabbed me shouting, "You're not going anywhere, you little bitch!"

I had the audacity to try and pull away from him, and in his drunken anger, he slapped me so hard across my face I crumpled to the floor. I sat sprawled on the floor shocked and disoriented when Robert pulled me onto my knees and bent me over the edge of the bed. With his hand on the back of my head holding it pressed into the bed, he pulled my drawers down and rammed into me from behind. Terrified, I screamed out for Janine, and he covered my mouth with his hand. I managed to reach up and pull his hand away, pleading with him, "Robert, stop. Please, you're hurting me. Stop."

He didn't stop, not until he had vented his anger and spewed his seed inside me did he stop. Rolling off me he said as crudely as he could, "its time I knocked you up, Cass. No one will look twice at you when your ass widens and your belly grows big and fat with my baby. That should keep your ass home and your fucking legs closed."

"No, you bastard. I'd never have a child with you!" I shouted at him, and just the act of yelling made me hurt and I curled onto my side, my knees pulled up to my chest.

There was an unmistakable coldness in the house after that night. I think he was ashamed and sorry for having lost his temper and striking me. I started locking my door each night and though I could hear the doorknob turn, I wouldn't unlock the door and eventually he would go away. I didn't speak to him unless there was no way to avoid doing so.

One night I was startled by a loud, "Open this damn door," bellowing from the adjoining bedroom. I sat cowering on the bed terrified he might get in.

"This is my damn house, Cassie! I'll break the fucking door down if you don't open it."

"Go away, Robert, just leave me alone," but before I could finish my statement, he kicked in the door, splinters and wood fragments flying about the room.

At the sound of the door crashing open and banging against the wall, Janine got out of her bed and hurried to the stairs. "Miss Cassie, Miss Cassie," she called in a panicked voice as she hurried up the stairs to the second floor landing.

Seeing her, Robert said, "Everything is fine here, Janine. We don't need you here, you can go back downstairs."

Janine saw me and tried to pass Robert but he blocked her way. She looked at me with worry and concern and I forced a smile and, in as reassuring a voice as I could manage, I said calmly, "I'm fine, Janine . . . go on back to bed and we'll talk in the morning . . . go on now."

Janine glared at Robert and, though unconvinced, said her goodnights and reluctantly returned to her room downstairs.

I half expected him to follow her downstairs, but instead he walked to the shattered doorframe and examined it. He turned, and taking me by my arm, pulled me off the bed and pushed me toward his room. "I want you in my bed at night," he said through clenched teeth, shoving me onto his bed for emphasis. "No more locked doors or cowering in there like a scared rabbit, do you understand?"

Frightened, but determined not to start crying, I bit my lip hard and mumbled, "Yes."

"Get your clothes off," he said as he began undressing. He turned off the lamp and crawled into bed pulling me on top of him. 'My god,' I thought, 'he's already hard.' Straddling his hips, he pulled me forward so that my breasts were pressed against his chest and my hips slightly elevated. With his upturned hand, he fondled me with his middle finger until my pussy was wet and slippery.

"I want you to sit on my cock, Cass" and he lifted my hips and lowered me onto his cock. I held my breath as his engorged cock filled me, and he began to stroke into me. With his hands on my hips he encouraged me to ride him. I moved my hips up and down his shaft, my pussy contracting and releasing around his cock as I slowly pumped him. With him buried snuggly inside me, I reared back onto my knees and bounced on his cock, watching his face change as his arousal increased. I reached behind me taking his balls in my hand and gently squeezed and massaged them as I continued to ride his cock. He gasped loudly and shouted for me to stop, "Damn, baby, stop . . . stop, don't move." He held my hips still and closed his eyes.

"Robert? Robert? What's wrong?"

He opened his eyes and licked his dry lips. In a hoarse voice he said, "I'm fine, baby. I liked what you were doing to me, it felt so good I was afraid I was about to cum and I wasn't ready to."

A smile reluctantly spread to his eyes and he reached up and teased my nipples awakening the achiness between my legs. As he stroked my nipples with one hand, he let the other trace small delicious circles around my clit evoking soft whimpering sounds from me, and the urgent need to grind myself against him.

Holding my hips tightly to him, Robert quickly rolled me over onto my back and began a slow, stroking that gradually increased in speed and depth until my body spasmed in orgasmic release. I lay under him, covered in sweat and breathing hard from the exertion of my orgasm as he ejaculated in three short, hard spurts. We lay there exhausted, his body still on top of mine, his cock inside of me softening as my pussy milked the last drops of cum from him.

"Robert, I can't breathe," I said pushing against his chest. He grunted and rolled off me. Brushing the damp hair from my face, he caressed my cheek and said, "Tomorrow, I want you to get your things and have Janine help you move them into my room."

Robert never replaced the door, and every few nights he would come home and want sex as if nothing bad had happened between us. To his warped way of thinking, I was his wife and he could use me whenever however he desired. Even to the point of dictating when he thought it appropriate to impregnate me.

He had told me he wanted me pregnant and to that end, he loved to have me suck his cock until he was just on the edge before pushing me onto my back to 'ride' me. As he fucked me he would press his mouth close to my ear and say something like, "Open your legs wider for me, Cass, you don't want me to waste any of my seed . . . do you, Cassie?" I would inwardly cringe when he would mount me like this, thrusting into me, his cum spurting forcefully as he jerked and spasmed inside me.

When he'd finish, I'd think of William, and the tears would come.

Robert had never been overtly violent toward me before, and I don't think even he understood what had happened that night or why, but his behavior had frightened even him. Of course, he still enjoyed binding my wrists, spanking me, even occasionally swiping me across my behind with his belt before sex, but he never again raised his hand to me in anger.

*****

One afternoon William and I had gone to "our place". Flushed and sweaty after making love we stretched out on a blanket when he pulled me to him and began to tell me about his family. William's family had been freemen since well before the Civil War. William's great grandmother Rachael was a pretty mulatto originally from Louisiana. When she was still a very young woman, innocent and untouched, her white Master impregnated her and she bore him a son (William's grandfather) who was a spitting image of the plantation's owner. The Master's wife hated Rachael, and made her life difficult whenever she could, but Rachael had the Master's protection and affection. Over the next five years, Rachael bore him two more children. Rachael received her freedom at her Master's death, and she eventually married William's great grandfather who moved his small family to East Texas. After a few years, his great grandfather opened a small iron works foundry here in San Augustine County.

We lay there, his leg thrown casually over my hips and the side of his warm chestnut colored body pressed tightly against mine. I listened to him talk and admired his strong, beautiful body, long legs, and powerful build. I looked up into his face and thought how handsome he was. His wavy brown hair, deep chin cleft and straight sculpted nose bespoke the amount of race mixing that over generations had created such a magnificent man.

It took a lot of hard work, scrimping and saving, but just as he said he would, William opened his own iron works shop, in the Negro quarters, out at the end of Neuville Road. I was very happy for him. This accomplishment fulfilled his family's tradition of entrepreneurial endeavors.

The day of his grand opening, Robert and I were in town and I convinced him to drive out to William's shop. I got out of the surrey, and excitedly looked about for William . . . and then I saw him standing in the doorway of the shop smiling broadly and talking with the small group of people surrounding him. My heart dropped when I saw the young Negro woman standing next to him. She was very attractive, and clung possessively to his arm, her small breasts not so innocently brushing against his bicep. I looked from one to the other. I saw the infatuation on her face when she looked at him, the closeness of their bodies. I felt a sharp flicker of jealousy and knew he was having sex with her. When I looked at William again, I saw he was watching me and raised his hand to wave. Without returning his acknowledgement, I got back into the surrey and asked Robert to take me home.