All Comments on 'To Pleasure the Viking'

this is good so far i'd like to read more on how this story progresses.

Although it was too short and the story could have gone deeper into the plotline.

I love Viking stories and look forward to a better update.

Read like Mills and Boon. Don't think Geoff and Derik are Viking names either. Didn't work historically or erotically for me.

I guess they might have come up the Ouse, but that's not really how it reads.

I realise this is your first story on Lit. It may be your first story ever written. From reading the first few paragraphs, I'm wondering if English is your first language as many of your sentences are not grammatically correct and are very difficult to read. If you are intending to set a story in a period of history which is well known, it is advisable to do some basic research before you start. York was not a village when the Vikings took over, it was a thriving international community in Roman times and the Vikings extended the city boundaries with trading links across the known world and a large artisan community. If your slave was from the local Brigantes tribe, she would have had brown or black hair, red hair is historically linked with Norse and Scots ancestry. She could have been black or brown-skinned if she was part of the Roman Vica and inter-married with the legions. York was a multi-national community. Writing effective erotic stories is one of the most difficult genres. You need to have a story, characters and action which is both believable and draws the reader in. You want them to suspend disbelief. You have a way to go before that happens.

Hot. But too short and I would like more story

I can see their points about having some historical and geographical accuracy and some cultural accuracy, all of which will make a story feel more real. I think some people can come off attacking rather than offering help. So, I would take what you can from the comments to use for your next story. There are some valid points mixed in. I would recommend an editor which you can get through the site. You can also ask people who read your work and seem interested. Even the best writers have editors, and most have more than one. I like the descriptions you gave. The more rich the descriptions are the more it will draw someone into the story. I'd have liked a little bit more of the story. I'm not sure if this is one you'll continue. I'd have liked to see how their relationship grew, how they would be able to eventually communicate using words. How he built a new life with her. I felt it ended a bit abruptly, and I would have been interested in it continuing. So, keep your head up. Take the good advice from the comments and the construcitve criticism that helps, but don't let anyone make you feel like you failed or shouldn't keep writing. It was a fair try for a first time writer.

This story is hott and amazing. please continue it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was lovely. Please continue it in much more length please.

Story is good, but is lacking in depth just a little.

This goes all over the place ...she is frightened and wants to run then in the next line dripping with lust? Then shes a virgin ...then raking his back in ecstasy ...all very confusing?

Much liked. Should be the beginning of a longer story.

Vikings did not come after the Romans,

Geoff The Viking!!!!!!!!

Followed by Barry the Roman centurion