All Comments on 'To Service is Divine Ch. 03'

Keep it coming ... more of this story needs to be told

Thanks for your comment wyldeye. I've outlined a continuous of the story in my head and may write it in the future. I'm currently working on about 10 different short stories in attempt to experiment with different styles of writing. This specific story was my attempt to write science fiction mixed with explicit sexual content geared towards a specific genre.

Understandably, some people liked it and some people didn't. Knowing that a few people actually enjoyed the story as it was written is satisfying enough to motivate me to continue writing. Overall, the story's primary purpose was to hone my skills and improve. This story was written in a style geared towards an actual story with complex plot vs writing a story for a quick thrill of erotica. My next stories will contain less story plot and more erotica. At least that's my goal.

My future plan is to completely rewrite and edit the first chapter and resubmit the edited version to fix some grammar and perspective issues that were clearly evident. The second chapter had a few glitches, but overall I felt the story was well written and flowed better than the first.

The third chapter, although darker in content was an attempt to generate an emotional response in the reader. It's difficult to gauge whether I accomplished that task as I've not received much feedback. My hope was that the 3rd chapter showed significant improvement in my writing over the first two.

Regardless, I appreciated your comment.

Thanks,

Rusty Zipper

Pretty good read over all, although it did get dark at times (I guess you know that already). I personally think Cindy should have felt at least a little more shame for admitting to Jacob that she is naturally a whore. Her church life would have impressed on to her that being a superwhore isn't normal even by normal standards. I'm glad she can admit it though as I see it making an interesting future relationship between the three(?) of them, but I hope she doesn't end up back on the street fucking dudes randomly for a little extra cash or just because she had the itch. Anyway that's just my 2 cents. I hope you keep writing and really finish this story right, that ending was just a tease.

I have read some reviews from your stories. Ignore the hate in some of those remarks. You have a talent that can't be denied. You could very well write a total conclusion in the science fiction category. I would love to read it. As a huge fan of Tolkien and Terry Brooks I tell you, please keep writing

Totally weird story. Don't get the story line.

The title says it all, keep writing your gifted.

I had to skim the last 8 pages. No sex that’s any good for titalation. Sore dick!

Those sections were intended to close the story and couldn't be helped. I explained the reason as an Author comment at the end. As you stated, you probably didn't read that part.

The story was one of my earlier works so it is what it is.

what an incredible job you have done so much of your time and creativity thank you for all you have done.. please keep writing.. you are very good at it.. well done rusty

Best story I have ever read,please continue

Very good story very dark but so many twist to it and a last twist at the end. Hope you add more but if not still 5 stars from me.