All Comments on 'Tom'

The plots have been used more often than a 50 year old prostitute.

Writer claims to really be female, I think so as we were spared the oversize equipment and the anal stuff.

That is a definite plus

In reply to the last comment. It certainly takes one to recognise one. Shall I write similar comments about your stories? Leave a young girl to have the thrill of seeing her first publication in print, without being so nasty, or are you just naturally nasty?

Don't worry about what other's think, it's your writing, keep it up.

- just be a bit more relaxed and natural with you next. I'm sure you'll get better as you write.

Very nice story. Reminds me of my own brother(s) and their antics. Keep up the good work.

A wonderful story that lifted my cock from a flacid state to a ragging, throbing tower of pulsing passion.

This coupled by the fact that I am sure there will be more stories to follow from a mind as fertile as this authors.

I look forward to more of your stories.

The sister has a cock? When the sister is describing what she knows and doesn't, and how she's going to let him spy on her the next time, she says she had seen his dick, but she hadn't let him see hers. Wtf? Maybe you should get an editor/ beta reader before you publish your next story.

the story started out ok but no guy that has never been with a girl and shoots early and has her laugh at him is going to be willing to go to the movies with her he would get pissed that she laughed and avoid her also no guy that has never been with a girl would ever agree to a threesome for his first time keep it sounding believable

Story was ok, but you need to study how people talk. The sisters dialog was unconvincing.

Loved your story, I masturbated all the way through it!

Just like your other stories by you alter ego Alwaysaslut andalwaysknickerless. Not erotic and very childish.

If you should decide to write under this name again, slow down and pay more attention to what you're writing. Catch your mistakes as you go along. Once you get used to doing this, it won't slow you down that much and will make your writing that more enjoyable. All it takes is practice.

If you can't do that then get someone to go over your story and edit it.

a three some for his first time is a good way to ruin him for life. his first few times should be with either the sister ALONE or the friend ALONE. a shy virgin guy would not be able to perform very well if at all in a three some as his first time. time to delete and rewrite as so many others have said.

Thoroughly enjoyed this, your first story. Don't stop writing love reading incest stories

This a really great plot, but it is almost all narrative with very little dialogue. There's also not much build-up and no background life experiences to justify why Amy and Helen behave the way they do. That will be why some mean bastards (!) have been less than complimentary. But it's a great shame if that got to you and that is why you stopped writing. You have the potential to write some really terrific incest stories. What can we do to get you to have another go and maybe seek some feedback this time as you write? That seems to be what all the best writers do. R