All Comments on 'Topsy Turvy Ch. 01'

It's hard to tell the difference between porn and corn sometimes.

i stopped half way down the first page it was just to boring and confusing. they way it was written he was going to end up with both sisters living with him. delete both chapters and get a good editor and do a major rewrite and cut the garbage out way too much usless information given.

DBRS

There was way too much crap in the first page. But the last bit mad me cum hard;) keep writting though. Would love another piece

As others have mentioned, you need to get an editor to help with structuring your story better.

On a side note, I'm 43 years old and have never in my life met siblings that called each other sis and brother as you have described in the story, just a pet peeve of mine, but maybe you might consider another way of them communicating like normal people do.

I really don't care if everybody just plain hated it because I really liked it and I don't see them "trying" to even attempt to write a joke let alone a story as all they want to do is act like God. And there is only one of them and they will never come close but there are arseholes of all types to leave comments<<< if you can call them that.!* Thanks "57".!* JAG

Jeeze! Some people-onies (pee-o-pole own-ie-s) are being rude...

This has potential 4 sure as others said an editor would help. The part that bothers me is, if she is a recovering addict and has only known people giving her drugs in exchange 4 sex as payment. She needs support and the love of a brother to recover, instead he denies her that and fucks her. Now in her head she may think it it what she owes to live there and thats not cool. If she was getting away from abusive boyfriend would be better. Thanks for all the work you put in like I said has potential :)

this is not the usual story that the girl gets screwed in all three holes in a half hour. everybody has to be a critic and pick things apart. if you don't care for the story write your own I bet you can't do near as good.

It is another powerful little word namely "Aids"

Here's another powerful word: Dumbass. WTF? Aids? Where did you come up with THAT shit? Let's try another word: Moron. How's that grab you, jackass?

No one calls each other Brother and Sis, and their psychologically insightful dialogue is like they've been in therapy for 15 years.

Also, the time line seems wrong. She's 16 years younger than him, thus was 2yo when he moved away. So how did they grow up together?

The story states quite clearly; oldest sister is 37, he's 35, youngest sister is 29, that's a six year age gap, not sixteen, next time you want to do simple arithmetic, take off your socks and shoes and learn how to count up to twenty first. You're such an asshole...

-She's a recovering druggie who admits to being in porn & he's dumb enough to think that she isn't carrying half a dozen diseases?

I thought that it was quite sweet. Not many people get to hit the reset button on their life, and rediscover that love they once so cherished.

It was overall quite a thrilling read. My only two complaints are that is much too fast paced (so much so that there was no actual build up to the point where they embrace their feelings) and that, as a result, it felt quite forced at some points.

I agree with Anonymous.

Great character development, great story. It’s a keeper.

Scores 5/5