All Comments on 'Tracey Plays Away'

Men have been raped in court by mad wives for just this thing so burn her ass. Kick the slut to the curb.

Two - three glasses of wine lets get real do not make her a slut. She is a slut the wine might release the it. Don't care. If she wants to be one don't get in a relationship.

So two people fucked, ho-hum. We don't know them so why should we be interested?

two glasses of wine might make u tipsy but not stupid

she wanted to fuck she is a slut, she needs medical testing and a divorce

drinking doesnt excuse fucking around it just makes it worse

First effort at writing hopefully it is your last you sick fuck.

Kinda feel sorry for her partner whoever he/she may be.

there is no mention of a husband or marrage so how can she be a LW. This story should be in Erotic Couplings Cat. 1 star.

"... there on his bonnet, skirt round her waist, blouse undone and her hold ups looking so hot...."

You and a thousand other writers, have you yourself ever sat on a bonnet for the length of time it takes to perform these acts? Especially just after using the car?

I tell you, the Reason she was looking so hot was that her Bum cheeks were being Roasted.

Sick, And Cruel

Cheers,

Kilroy.

Well, you got some pretty harsh criticism for your first entry. Since it is your first I scored the story a little higher than I normally would.

One thing you should keep in mind are motives. Why people do what they do. Other than a couple of drinks, I don't see any here. You say she never even kissed another man other than her partner, (husband?/boyfriend?/girlfriend?) you never say, but if that was true, why now? She has never had a couple drinks before? Why didn't she spread her legs for any guy that looked at her then? Especially since you say she never gave Mike a thought before. Writing erotic sex scenes are fine, but you still have to put them into context. Try again but think out the plot a little better. Don't let the bad press get you down, we all get it.

It SUCKED-dog shit, horse shit, cat shit, rat shit, bird shit--

A lot of garbled sentences. An editor would straighten this sort of thing out, and maybe give you some suggestions on plot and such.

My best advice

Gotta start somewhere! (gotta end somewhere, also, but I'll play nice for a little while.). Most of the feedback is accurate, but not that specific. No one in this account says a word! There is no conversation. You tell us what's happening, and don't let us hear it directly. Therefore there also no suspense. It is very efficient, if you are presenting facts in, let's say, a divorce court - well known for not being too erotic a setting. Try re-writing it from her perspective, including initial reservations she had, and how he worked (or lucked) around them. What she starts feeling as the seduction progresses. It still won't get Tolstoy too worried, because the plot is both thin and trite, but it might be worth a wank!

But I don't think I'd call her faithful though, if she can fuck another guy in the car park.

I wonder how she'll handle being fucked and going home to her mate. I would think that will be embarrassing.

Boring stuff. No reason to understand why she is doing this, much less excuse. Also seems disconnected and bleak,

But where is part 2?

Needs a part 2. Did they get a hotel room or finish inthe car garage. Was it a one and done, or did they meet up several times?