by Cybotic
A very promising start, good effort. Looking forward to more. Could possibly have done with a bit of proof-reading, but that's just nit-picking.
I look forward to reading much more of this - thank you. If your presentation had been just a little more meticulous, this would have earned 5 *s; as it stands, it is well worth 4.
5 *'s. Long but as I think back, I can't imagine changing any of it. Detailed but not to the point of being the least bit boring. I read the other 3 comments and even now I can't remember typos. Your use of the english language paints a vivid picture. More on this story, please.
A very good story, well planned out and told wonderfully. Yes there are the odd spelling error but they did not distract me from the story so a top mark five it is.
The pace is just right, slow enough for us to feel everything Mindi is feeling but not to slow to be boring. i hope there is going to be more about Mindi's training and i really do hope she becomes Katrina's 24/7 slave.
I love this story! Fantastic beginning to a hopefully long and joy filled series. I can't wait to read more!! :D
This was a very very good story! However, have you considered a chapter 2?
I enjoyed it very much and you have really set the scene for what I hope is a great tale in the making. Nicely written.
It held my interest from start to finish. I hope my writing is up to your standard.
Thank you so much! I identify strongly with Mindi, and have found someone who enjoys owning me. Your series has provided me a perfect method through which to explain myself to him, as well as to give voice to my inner struggle. Thank you.