Transcript

Interviewer: So speaking of inconveniences—even if they're only slight— are there any adjustments you've had to make now that you are lactating full-time?

Julia: Well ... yeah, for one thing, I have to be careful about being around young children.

Adam: Why's that?

Julia: Because when I'm full, and I see a lot of kids, or worse, if one of them starts crying, I start leaking sometimes.

Adam: I didn't know that.

Julia: Well, I haven't mentioned it, and you weren't around the couple of times it happened. It's been when I've been out with my girlfriends. Some baby in a restaurant or in a mall starts crying, and my boobs react.

Interviewer: So what do you do about that?

Julia: Nursing pads. I found these thin ones that absorb really well—Lansinoh is the brand. My friend Melissa won't wear them unless she has on a nursing bra, but I think these are plenty comfortable. Melissa a little bustier than me, so maybe that's the deal there.

Adam: Umm ...

Julia: You haven't noticed them because I don't wear them unless we're going out somewhere where there might be little kids or something. And I just pull them out before we get down to business, anyway.

Interviewer: Anything else that's inconvenient?

Julia: Well, some people would say that just having milk in your breasts full-time is inconvenient, and I guess it would be if I didn't totally want it. I mean, I have no idea how long we're going to do this, but I'm down for the long haul. I don't mind it, I'm fine with the schedules and everything, because of what it gives us, what it gives me personally, and what it gives Adam.

Adam: How about pumping and dumping?

Julia: Oh, yeah. Actually this is one place where Adam and I have had some disagreement. Not real arguments, but—

Adam: There are days where I'm not going to be there to take her milk—

Julia: And it can start to get uncomfortable if I don't, and I'll start leaking. So I've got a pump, and electric dual pump, and if Adam is away or I'm going out and not going to have time for him to be nurse from me, I'll pump and then dump the milk.

Adam: Which I wish she wouldn't do, always. I mean, she has to pump. But I've been encouraging her to save at least some of it.

Interviewer: Why is that?

Adam: So I can have it later.

Julia: And my thing is: I want him to have my milk straight from my nipple, not from some bottle. If he really wants my breastmilk to use as cream for his coffee, I'm more than happy to squirt it in there.

Adam: Which she's done! It's great, a lot better than half-and-half.

Julia: So that's the big disagreement. It's not a big deal at all.

Interviewer: Well, Julia, what benefits does it give you? What do you get out of this part of your relationship?

Julia: Oh, wait, I forgot one thing: sometimes I get a skin rash around my nipples, around my areolae, from Adam's beard. When he has a beard.

Adam: Beard-rash.

Interviewer: So tell me about what's good. What are the good things it brings you?

Julia: Everything I've already pretty much said. I like the closeness, I like using my body in this way—it makes me feel totally feminine—I like feeding Adam. I'm making food in my body, and I'm putting it into his body. That's sexy; that's erotic to me. And he gets a certain amount of nutrition from me; we do this enough that he has to factor in my calories.

Adam: That's true. I'm taking in about 200 calories a day, roughly. Sometimes more.

Interviewer: Really!

Adam: Yeah, about six ounces or so, depending on Julia.

Julia: Even more, when I'm really producing, which lately, I really have been.

Interviewer: So, this is work, it takes time and effort, but so far so good?

Julia: So far so totally good. You couldn't pay me to stop this. I don't know what would happen if we ever got married and had kids or something, but that's not going to be anytime soon. So I'm happy to go on doing this indefinitely.

Interviewer: Adam, how about you? What does your nursing relationship with Julia give you?

Adam: Besides calories?

Interviewer: (laughs) Yes.

Adam: Well, what Julia was saying about it, I totally identify with that, except I'm on the receiving end. I don't feel that it emasculates me, I still feel like a man. But as a man you need to have—I need to have—the love of a good woman.

(Julia laughs.)

Adam: I know it sounds old-fashioned; I don't really mean it in an old-fashioned way. I'm just saying that it's OK by me if someone I love takes care of me. I can take care of myself, I can certainly find my own food, but letting Julia in like this is just an intimate and loving thing. I look forward to being with her this way.

Julia: My friend Melissa says that it's like your sexual relationship, except that it's a nice slow burn, no urgency. No one is trying to come when you're nursing. Well, she actually has, I think, and I do sometimes, too. But it's not about orgasms; it's a pleasant, blissful feeling the way it is, like we're together on a cloud.

Adam: That's funny, that is exactly how I feel, like we're on a cloud together. That's funny that we both thought that and never said it.

(Julia squeezes Adam's hand.)

Julia: And then there's the immune system boost.

Adam: Oh, yeah—we should talk about that.

Interviewer: (to Julia) It boosts your immune system?

Julia: Not mine, I don't think mine. But breast milk naturally has my antibodies in it, and, well, Adam gets colds and flu and stuff more than me.

Adam: A lot more, actually.

Julia: But we think he's not getting as much now. My antibodies are supposed to boost his immune system, and we think it's working. I have this one girlfriend who says her boyfriend never gets sick anymore, never, and he used to get colds and the flu and whatever pretty often. And they're in a nursing relationship. So it probably does work.

Adam: Julia's immune system is better than mine.

Julia: I think that's generally true between women and men; the woman's immune system is just better at fighting things off. But this way, he gets mine, my immune system. And there's a bunch more science, too. Like it prevents infections, staph infections and things like that. Even cancer, I read. Oh, and allergies!

Adam: Yes, my allergies are gone, pretty much.

Julia: Adam used to get pretty bad hay fever. And since my milk came in, we've both noticed that he just never sneezes anymore, never gets red eyes, none of the old symptoms. We were at a farm the other week, where he probably would've been miserable—

Adam: I would've been, for sure—

Julia: And he didn't have a single problem. We didn't realize that until we got home, but we're both pretty sure that's my breastmilk that's doing that, curing him of that. That's in science, that's not just me talking.

Adam: What about the calories?

Julia: We just talked about that.

Adam: No, I meant for you. You burn—

Julia: Oh, yeah, you're right, we should mention that. My making milk all the time burns calories, so it's almost like extra exercise. It's supposed to be something like 20 calories burned for every ounce produced, so maybe ...

Adam: Well, we've been figuring about six ounces per day lately.

Julia: Yeah, so maybe about 200 calories a day. So that's like the same as taking a nice long walk.

Adam: Julia has never had a weight problem—

Julia: Not since you've known me.

Adam: (laughing) Not since I've known her, but I think she's noticeably thinner since we got fully underway with this. I mean, her belly is flatter, and whatever. I always loved her body, but I do think she looks even better now, so I'm not complaining.

Julia: I'm a little thinner, AND my boobs are bigger.

Adam: No complaints. I love that.

Julia: Yeah, I love it, too.

Interviewer: So, do you two think it's a good time to start the demonstration?

Julia: Sure.

Adam: Yeah.

—

At this point, I got up to lock the office door, Adam rose and closed the blinds.

"I think I'm just gonna take my shirt all the way off," Julia says.

I've returned to my seat, and am quietly observing the couple as they prepare for their ritual. Julia is wearing a printed t-shirt, which she now pulls off. There is indeed hair under her arms, and though I agree with Adam's description of her hair as "bushy," she has small, feminine patches, not the large growths I had imagined.

Adam is on his knees, kneeling in front of Julia's chair, while Julia is unfastening her bra and removing it. Her breasts are plump and pretty, and concerning her areolae, I agree with her assessment that they are "on the big side," meaning that they cover a significant area of her breasts. They are a light red in color, while her nipples are a noticeably darker red. Her nipples, I should add, are fairly long, standing about half an inch away from each breast, and are quite thick.

Adam now climbs onto the chair and straddles Julia; she giggles nervously and glances toward me. As Adam puts his face in front of her chest, she cups one of her breasts and squeezes; Adam opens his mouth, and I see streams of liquid suddenly bursting out of Julia's nipple, which Adam collects in his mouth.

"Proof!" Julia laughs.

The couple then gets down to business: Julia pulls Adam's head toward her while simultaneously holding her breast out toward his mouth. Adam's mouth goes wide and surrounds Julia's areola; I hear quiet smacking sounds as he works to seal his lips to her breast. I watch as Julia's hand begins to squeeze herself—in an area right near the areola—in firm pulses. After a few moments, Adam makes a slight sighing sound, which I take as an indication that Julia's milk has begun flowing.

At this point, I feel like a voyeur, intruding on a very intimate moment between the two. Julia's face shows obvious bliss—she has a slight smile, her eyes are closed, and she has a look of utter relaxation. Adam, meanwhile, works at her breast with enthusiasm: his jaw pumps up and down, and his whole head undulates. It is very quiet in the room, and I can hear liquid sounds in Adam's throat as he swallows.

After about 15 minutes, Adam withdraws and finds his own chair. Julia, now putting on her bra, looks at me and says, "So that's how we do it."

"It was beautiful," I tell them.