All Comments on 'Transformation Ch. 01'

Your not stopping here are you?

Please don't stop. This is a great story.

Great start. Just a few minor things.... at one point it says his incident was 3 years ago, then it was 10. Also, they wouldn't wait for him to wake up to start the blood work, etc. But good start, more please!

I can see where the timeline may have been a little bit confusing. The overall time spent unconscious is 10 years. Three years for the virus to make the change and another seven before she wakes up.

Chapter 2 is already written just waiting to see if there was an interest before submitting.

Well its a very interesting type of story you've chosen but I have to say I'm curious to see how you build on. Keep up the good work.

It is an interesting cpncept. and mostly well written. Like the other poster I was confused about the timeline ad well.

I am curious, why did you decide to have Sara in a coma for 7 years after the transformation, and not just for first three?

The long delay has more to do with my own personal timeline than anything story driven. Things just work better that way sometimes.

An unconventional place to stop, I would say, as you started with a flashback and then just ended with no chapter conclusion.

Usually I'm not into a guy turning into a girl, but this one I don't mind at all, in fact I like it. I initially assumed the reason to keep her in a coma for so long was to get the timeline to match up with ours, but that's evidently not the case. I'm interested in seeing where this goes, and thankfully I have several chapters ready for me to read.

Flashback start I think its great and could be very interesting

I think the one complaint I would have is the chapter is to short. Mind you this is just a personal opinion and driven by the fact that I can devour a 300 page book in a day or so. I am going to read some more and see where you are going with it.

Wow, you certainly have put a new twist on body transformation stories! Well written... I am looking forward to reading the rest of this!!! You do good work; I know, as I've read one of your other stories... You're quite the story teller!