Trapped in a Game Pt. 05

Being a gamer I've enjoyed this series. My biggest complaints thus far are: I don't understand why/how there are these ultra powerful super geared players in the world that seem to be so far beyond everyone else if they all started at the same time. Isn't this all taking place at the launch of the game? Even Serra somehow has tons of gold and all these "contacts" mere days after launch day. Unless I missed a huge time jump it doesn't make sense to me. My other complaint is the class & abilities list seem to pretty all over the place. Being a long time gamer a lot of Serra & Josh's class abilities make little sense to me in terms of how a classic D&D or MMO would have them. I still have no clue what the role of a Tempest class is! His spells don't seem to follow any rhyme or reason. To me the name tempest would lean toward some sort of storm/mobile fury type class. His abilities seem more in line with like an illusionist or mystic type class.

Only gamers Would LOVE this chapter. iM a gamer so i LOOOOOVEd it.

Tried too hard writing this part? It's too much. Not up to the very high standard of the previous parts.

too much of an info dump in this chapter for my taste.

imo, you don't have to explain everything. all it boils down to is that Tsun felt like S betrayed their team/humiliated them etc. etc.

you ended up fleshing out the unimportant bits. ie. you overexplained the background of the video game without really making it realistic. competitive players have to deal with shit and learn, and grudges like the one you're trying to set up is just kind of unbelievable.

You need to explain why the moba failure affected Tsun so much instead of emphasizing josh's realization that S wasn't at fault cause she doesn't fit the carry role.

Also carry is a singular, not carries.

Really great action in this series, I am hoping for some closure though.