All Comments on 'Trapped with my Little Sister'

Rape. That's what this is. Pure and simple rape. The minute he said "NO", Cat should have gotten off of him and left the room.

So he said no, Seems to me he's really enjoying himself at this point. I'm kinda interested in where this heads from here...

Interesting story but if hes starting to enjoy it whats the point of keeping him a helpless potatoe it seems very unfair to him i think the tables needa be turned n both sisters need to be taught a lesson

Forget "suspend disbelief". For this story, you need to have a partial lobotomy first. Forget the fact that your writing is ALL OVER THE PLACE, and that you never get around to explaining why only the brother is affected by the "weird smell", or even HOW it affects him. He can't move, but he can talk, and get an erection. But he'll sleep through his sister feeding him a smoothy and somehow getting him to piss in a fucking bucket.

You've got some serious issues to deal with. Please work on them privately. Your writing is so bad, all you're doing is punishing your readers.

such a load of crap.makes no sense,had no back story,and really room full of some sort of strong scent that only affects him not the sister she fine!!!

I think you started typing somewhere in the middle of the story. It is OK for a fantasy, but not so good for a story. You got one WTF and one unconditional rape vote, so that is something. I'm not feeling the loving feeling, or even a shred of a reason one sister must punish her brother with a scent and some glue. Anya must be a real piece of work because she provided all the mystery scent. Go back and write this again trying to make some sense of it this time.

RS

Hahaha this story's great! Keep going!!!

Everything is rushed. Some more detail in their actions as well as their thoughts would be greatly appreciated. It adds more depth to the story and characters.

You're on my "do not read" list.

IF you're going to put magic in your story, put magic in your story, don't just throw in shit that doesn't have any place in reality into your story.

The base premise.. there's some perfume/incense that makes a male too weak to move or fight off a rapist sister, yet she's totally unaffected. FAIL. His heart, diaphragm and vocal chords aren't affected either? No.

" I took the liberty of giving you water and a smoothie to keep you going and I also managed to get you to pee in a bucket."

Yea.. even if you'd gotten us to suspend our disbelief about the perfume/incense, she does this to him somehow while he's asleep?!?

Then the "glue" that lasts 4 hours and keeps him erect that entire 4 hours?

you forgot tag for non-consent since you appear set on leaving him against this whole thing happening.

IF I could give 0 stars, I would.. but 1 is as low as I can offer.

this is one of the worst that have 2 be here

I will have to agree it feels a bit rushed but all in all still good I didn't even finish reading before I finished so good work

It "Sucked" .

Very scattered around, no explanations at all ad to what the hell is going on, but I will give you some slack because this is your first story. Interesting plot but you need to work on it.

You should make a sequel with the rest of the week, but don't rush it, slowly build the story, and don't force it.

I have been getting very conflicting responses to this story, most of the comments are bad, but based on the fact that 59 people have favorited this in less than a week, I will be continuing the story. It will be far more developed, probably getting better as I go along. However due to the unanimous agreement that I need to develop and explain quite a bit, I won't be releasing said sequel for a while. I will write new stories and hopefully get better at it before revisiting this. Yes the sequel will involve Anya and if I get good response I might even go beyond a sequel. Lets just put this... story... behind us. Think of it as a shitty beginning to a not so shitty plot.

Interesting...but not my cup of tea....

keep up the good work now write chapter two where both sisters abuse him but he gets to loving it and takes the inscents out and show them his real love for them

And 3 4 5 > 101. NOW!

Go Back to High School and give a Back Ground of the 2 Oldest to Show where the Sisters are coming from. It would give this Story a Little Direction. and Does the 21 year old come back and Use her Brother like the Younger Sister or does he finally just Say Fuck it and Does.

This story is amazing! I'd love to see how it progresses. Keep up the good work!

Please make another chapter this story is amazing

One of the best stories I have read in a while only complaint is it's too short, but the glue part got me

The story is garbage. There's no build-up, there is no enjoyment of it, it is just a rape scenario between brother and sister initiated by sister. The grammatical errors were so bad I couldn't even read half the story. There was no character development, no build-up, there's no definition, there's no description of the sister or the brother to stimulate the imagination, it is just a shit story. Worst piece of garbage I have ever laid eyes on.

Get an editor and proofreaders. And maybe you need to graduate from 8th grade before you think this is a "good story".

It would be amusing if the two find out that the glue dissolves in four days, not four hours, and they have to go through the daily routine of life stuck together for four days. Or maybe the other sister comes home to find the two stuck together.