All Comments on 'Travel into the Temple'

It started out well but the ending was a rather let down and too short. Since it was a man's face and body you could have made him a gorgeous creature. Then perhaps get Molly to stay behind and live happily ever after with him....

hey this was a great story for your first try, keep up the good work I am looking forward to seeing your future posts

Not a bad first post! I enjoyed it's fast pace. The ending was a little bit short. I think it's hard to mix comedy and fantasy together. Though there were parts that were pretty funny, especially in the beginning.

Make it longer, and it would be perfect!