All Comments on 'Treason Ch. 01'

by lizziebennet

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  • 5 Comments
needchocolatenowneedchocolatenowalmost 14 years ago
Excellent!

First submission Ms Bennet! Capital, capital, my dear!

I find this truly appealing on several levels. I am highly interested to see a political thriller combined with an erotic romp. Freedom of speech and the right to assembly, not to mention liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and that all men are created equal are points your little romp has touched upon. I hope with some purpose in mind. No matter the governing system in your setting, it will be interesting to see how a previously independent woman who has the conviction of her beliefs reconciles with enjoying (though reluctantly) submitting herself to a representative of the government.

Was the captains tenderness toward her, of course after his got his blow job, something genuine? Is the captain capable of sustaining tender feelings? Is he a staunch supporter of his government? Will he participate in continuing to deny her her freedom? Will he allow her to continue to suffer, as your story alludes to her having zero rights once imprisoned? Where does the treason charge come from? Is there a nefarious bad guy who's after her? Will the captain or someone else not yet introduced resemble Mr. Darcy?

You write well too. Looking forward to more.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago

Great read! Please keep writing.

canndcanndalmost 14 years ago

Very good beginning to what I hope will be a long story. You have a different plot than I have seen on here before. I like the mixture of politics with this society which is in what time? tell us more about this world please. I like the fact that she was such an independent woman who was brave and she had no choice but to submit to the bastard captain, but hopefully she will fight in some way or whatever little way she can even if she is at the government's mercy. Who put her here? I wonder if that cousin who was in the capital was the one who turned her in. I look forward to where you will take this. It is a good plot and I hope you continue to develop her character as well as those you may introduce now.

Look forward to the next chapter

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

Delicious--reads like a b-side of "The Handmaiden's Tale."

areanabenoirareanabenoirover 12 years ago

love the story.... good read ..... hope there is more .....

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