All Comments on 'Tricked Sis Gloriously'

The anal fisting was a little much

Things were going well until the trickery. Hard to buy the premise after that and not enough sex to make this one worthwhile.

and fizzle. Big buildup to not much of a story.

and which is it....Tonya or Tanya?

Such a LONG Psychoanalytical bullshit build up then FART. Totally insipid sex scenes. The decit in getting her to preform was disgusting. You write like a teenaged boy, with a disability. Such an excellent idea for a story but turned into verbal diarrhea. 1 star

DragonRider55

I can't believe this was only two pages - it seemed to drag on forever and ever, and then...nothing. Such a waste of my time. This was a well-written nothing-burger. The brother is slime who turned his disturbed sister into a common whore. How is that sexy?

You write fairly well so I hope you'll try again with a better concept.

I really appreciate the honest feedback. This being my second attempt and second published story felt good after countless hours of rehashing and over thinking before submitting. However; Ladies, Gentlemen, And however one prefers to identify; I thank you for all comments, tips, and opinions. Each one opens my eyes and expands my knowledge base as to ways in which I can improve my writing. As a fledgling I need this. To those who enjoy and find satisfaction; please enjoy. To the hateful "Trolls" as I'm learning they are called; I thank you too. You jealousy, ignorance and hatred remind me to always be humble, that I am not you. To those whom have commented on this story to date, I do not find trolls; instead cold hard truth and I agree looking back. I thank you anonymous or not for ringing true and laying it out. See you in round three!!

The glory hole parts were weak and felt underdeveloped, like they were more for idea place holders than actual scenes in a story. I would love to see more details to fill in these glory hole scenes.

Is she sucking off other men as well as the "doctor?" Does anyone else want to house her for more than just a blowjob? What other cards were made to get her to debase herself further? What was the process for fisting her? Did she practice these new skills/ideas on men she picked up from clubs?

I hope there is a more developed part 2.

Good ideas, that I felt you just patched together. I like background in a story but the first page was so full of over stated concepts that I thought I was going to fall asleep. Your description of how beautiful Tanya is; the ass fisting to your elbow with no training, or practice? Really?

I gave you a 3 because the story idea was good just carried out wrong. Don't give up. Keep writing.

The past tense of pay as in attention is paid.

Payed is past ten of pay as in let out rope a bit at a time or sealing a boat.

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/paid-payed/