All Comments on 'Triple-Edged Sword'

Very cold and calculated manipulation all around. Judy doesn't love Dave. She is using him, along with the judge. Weirdly enough, Hailey loves him. And he is oblivious to it all. Not a very believable plot line.

I wont rate it as it seems so incomplete. As the previous poster stated, this seems so manipulative in so many ways. Haley may not have deserved Dave, but why? Was it simply letting dad run over her in all this?

What about Dave, does he really want Judy or is it a rebound?

A story that deserves more.

Five $50 dollar bills does not cover $500 retainer.

A new twist in every corner...And being so, it´s too manipulative, as some other comment said. This is like any Agatha Christie's story: a new evidence every second and the end being a total surprise. However it's difficult to try to write a story like this one with so many twists...And this was the case...some of the twists were weak: 1st - what would have been the destiny of the judge'sson, if Hailey never wanted a divorce? Why did the judge allow is only son (his heir) to have a poor life? 2nd - The judge had his revenge on the bastard child and not on his wife! Why? As I understand no judge professional life would have been affected by divorce. His wife would have granted him easily the divorce confronted with the fact of her daughter's father being another man...3rd - What kind of judge and man is this that throws away (just with ten grand) his only child, his heir. If he had a lot of children I could understand his choice to not jeopardize their lives...But this child was his only child. The only way his blood line and family name to live...4th - The lawyer being his old friend is also a forced twist...5th - How will this cheating and manipulative woman look herself in the mirror every day? After having deceived the man she claims to love? That's why other readers said this can't be finished...so 3* just for being an interesting story.

Shallow writing kind of wasted it. Could have been great 2 to 3 chptr story rather than average.

He's being CHARGED with adultery. It's not proven yet, I don't see why he's not suspended pending proof.

I'm torn. I'm upset that Judy helped set him up, but she's still a better woman than Hailey, the Judge is losing his only child and Hailey is going to end up a trophy wife for one of the Judge's stooges who will probably cheat on her.

All's well that ends well!

A second chapter isn't needed unless you want to screw up a happy ending.

I disagree when you say that Judy doesn't love him. Yes, she helped manipulate him, but out of love. Hailey maybe had SOME love for him, but not enough to actually talk to him before it all went to shit.

But lovely twists and turns. Loved it! Who cares what happens to them?

This shit really happens too. Good story

worth 4* to me (or 4.2 if you could give partials).

He didn't want Hailey to marry Dave because he had discovered she wasn't really his daughter. Pretty vindictive, since Hailey didn't have any say in who her parents were going to be.

She was setup to believe he was cheating on her: they just hsppened to have doctors note saying Judy was allergic to latex AND the GI Joe doll when there was no legitimate reason to bring them?

He just happened to lose his cell phone and received a replacement but rather than calling his wife at any point, he "left a note" for her. So her husband disnt speak to his wife for over theee days. Not one call, text, email....nothing. So how was this asshat "one of the good ones?"

If anything, he was in on the deception because there is no way they could have pulled this off without him.

And I'm the Queen of England!!! How idiotic have a fantasy to be so as not to be published at literotica??

So, she brings up the condoms, Judy says she is allergic to latex, and he says he never had time to have an affair with anyone else.

But, David never wonders where the condoms came from or how they got there? Why not? Ok, say he has decided he doesn't want to be married to her anymore, so no reconciliation is possible. Still, he doesn't wonder who set him up and how they did it? He just lost his whole life, wife, job, etc., and he has no curiosity as to who did it or why and how they did? I think any reasonable person in the same situation would want to know, even if he suspected the Judge, he would want to know who had helped the judge in setting him up, right?

Judy says she will be the best wife for him. Really? She starts their relationship on a betrayal, and lives a lie, building a relationship on deceit, and she thinks that will make her the best wife he can have? Yeah, because every guy should have a wife as selfish, self-serving, arrogant and deceitful as Judy. And I suppose, if David is so naive and short-sighted as to never wonder by whom or how he was set up, he deserves to be manipulated by others for the remainder of his life. The only question is why Judy would want him, considering how stupid he is, and how stupid she apparently knows he is, to be manipulated so easily and remain ignorantly blissful about it.

And the Judge finds out his daughter is not his biologically, and suddenly he throws away all the effort he made to help her life, and sets out to destroy it? All his emotions about her suddenly disappear because her mother cheated on him, when his daughter had no control over it at all? And suddenly he shifts all that love and concern to his biological kid, who he has never evidenced any care or concern for in the entire time he has known it was his kid?

It seems this story was written backward, starting at the outcome and building toward the beginning so all the physical pieces fall into place, but the actions of the characters make no sense whatsoever. People behave in consistent ways, unless they are mentally irrational, but all of the people involved here are completely inconsistent and irrational. So, there is not really any way to emotionally attach to any character, unless you are a crazy person and can identify with one of the other crazy people in this story.

The grammar and punctuation were mostly correct, but the plot of the story and, in particular the actions and characters were inconsistent and hopelessly flawed. In order to fit to the twist ending, the story was bent to the point of breaking several times...

There are so many twists at the end and there were some he/she mistakes that added to the confusion of who did what to who. I think that, according to the author, the judge is a reasonably good guy who got the husband out of a marriage with his daughter who he sees as not a "good fit", all this with the husband's welfare supposedly in mind. The husband's secretary is in on it and her son is the Judge's illegitimate child? OK. I am going to have to go back and reread at some point to see if it makes better sense. I suspect that the author was so eager to cram all these clever points in at the end and may not have all his ducks in a row but maybe it was my reading at fault. I was a pretty clever twist so I liked it for that.

one fucked up situation

Interesting twist. Nice departure from the predictable.*****

The twist at the end ,characters sucked , story line upside down.you can write so get a better story next time.

Keep practicing, you have a good imagination and wit.

It really was a good twist and changed your typical "wife acts rashly" story to something unique. However, why does Dave "deserve better than Hailey"? Did she cheat on him in the past? Is she a horrible person? There's no indication that she did anything to deserve her father conspiring against her. Perhaps her father is punishing her for not being his biological child? I get the reason why the judge would want to make right with Judy, but there is a big mystery there in regards to Hailey.

Good point! I hadn't even thought of that, that the Judge took a good man away from Hailey to "punish" her for not being his! You're right, that's not her fault, but it IS a neat twist, if cold!

2*

Hey the primary being broken here is the third vow . . . the one usually unsaid, but often admonished with 'what god has brought together let no one separate'. Whether one is religious or not, the understanding is that it is wrong (read 'evil' in some cases) to undermine a marriage. (I actually was in a wedding once where the official, after having the standard wedding vows, looked out upon everyone there and asked if all in attendance, as friends and family agreed to honor, support, and cherish this union, and to signify such by saying 'we will'. Beautiful, but declared or not, that directive is ever-present.)

The judge dishonored this admonishment, and as such, becomes a triple betrayer, first to his family, second as an attendee to the wedding, and finally, to his responsibility as a Judge. Judy is also a major betrayer. She betrays supporting the marriage and betrays Dave. She pretends to be sympathetic to his suffering, while all the while being complicit in the destruction of his marriage and his suffering. Her love is selfish . . . she wants him, she doesn't truly love him. She's as much scum as the Judge.

Hailey is guilty of weakness, but she was most probably raised to be that way by the Judge. So, this become a family originated issue for her.

David is stronger, but not as strong as I'd like. His wife is being taken advantage of by a parent (who due to not being a biological parent, has a vendetta against her). He tries to stop it, but eventually gives in.

Everybody loses.

based on lies.

You did a dam fine job. No queers , cuckolds etc.. Great job # 5

A judge rich enough to sire a bastard, but not rich enough to provide for him as much as he "loved him"?

This story is total bullshit! Lame on the get-go and only worse in the end how flimsy the reasoning is behind the escapade.

Keep you day job as lyric writer for the insane clown posse.

What a crock of shit. Worst story I've ever read on Literotica..

Cynical ,sad . A product of our times.

Every character is in the dark, clueless. Unless they have a manipulative ulterior motive.

The quality of the writing got you 3*s from me.

The plot left me feeling dirty. Suspicious of all persons around me,😒lol!!

AMerryman

Poor deliverance, to many twists and angles and not time enough to character development, was a good try nevertheles.

Yeah Dave its still fuck, his former wife was selfish, naive and easy to manipulate against him; his future new wife its not better, im dare to say that she is worst even. Basically help to ruin his marriage (a happy marriage at least for a while), you dont that to a person that you claim to love, specially when the other conspirator hate him and it is the father of your child. Its certainly needs a continuation, and even there is a bittersweet ending for him, at least the Judge must have to pay.

I think it's hilarious. His new step-son is actually his ex-wifes' half brother. When "The Judge" dies, does he mention his son in his will; if his wife decides to have a DNA test on the girlfriends/fathers son enquiring of his parentage, will it somehow come out they are related ?.

There should be a follow up to this where Dave finds out everything and goes to task disesembling these people's world, because if there isn't a "Part2" I should have rated this a one star. Thanks.

People just don't pay attention.

This was a doozy! Lit Noir. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Good read and not usual story for site! Many twist and well written.

Thank you for sharing!

Please keep writing and I will keep reading.

is not always difficult, it is very painful/ TK U MLJ LV NV

It was a setup against Hailey and Dave.Hailey, innocent and made to think Dave cheated by a manipulative father and Dave innocent by being set up by a friend,a longtime secretary and manipulative Judy who is also scum as is the Judge deadbeat dad terrible father to Hailey and his son by Judy..Dave and Hailey should uncover the truth, and dump them all down the toilet where their pitiful lives belong...The judge should lose his ability to practice law...57b3

Could have easily been titled "Dave's Adventures in the Sewer." Other than Dave, there's no one here to like.

This was a bit hard to follow. Maybe the mad cow is starting to affect my abilities more, but I had to reread and finally guess as to who did or said what or what was even happening. But since it only really affected me for this story, maybe it's the story's fault, not mine. It gives an otherworldly feel, but confusion is like not really pleasant.

Basic editorial work would help. I'd love to comment on something other than grammar, but

Was a bit hard to follow here and there...

Well played. Assholes all around. Lying, cheating and backstabbing are the operative words. I like it! But Judy better be careful. If something every happens to Brandon and they need something from his blood father, she and her manipulations would be toast.

I don't favor stories where the SOB Judge comes out on top. Just one of the things but ok story with some holes.

Thankfully, Judy died from highly aggressive breast cancer two years later. On her deathbed, she admitted the truth to Dave. After he shared this knowledge with Hailey, she killed the Judge just before taking her own life. The attorney died in an apparent robbery attempt at his office, yet another seemingly senseless act of violence in that troubled part of the city. Dave did not attend his funeral but instead enjoyed a drink and a good cigar while reflecting on the irony of it all. He and Brandon, who was the the sole beneficiary of the Judge's will, thrived and prospered once all of these selfish and toxic influences were excised from their lives.

I don't understand why the judge wanted to ruin Haileys life? Ok, she wasn't his daughter, but shouldn't he punish his wife? Hailey is innocent of the judge wifes cheating.

That was interesting.

In the end they are all conniving whores

This has great bones! It would be awesome to see this fleshed out even more or used as a part of something bigger. I'm giving it 5 for the dirty city feel of everyone having troubles, being selfish, and trying to help people they care for at the same time.

Pretty everyone but Dave (and Judy's kid) were grade A devious assholes. Quote convoluted. 4 stars for the creative, complex weave.