by ScottWood
I usually don't leave negative comments because anyone who is brave enough to submit a story deserves respect. But this was the stupidest story I've ever come across on this site. My advice is to please let this series die quietly.
Hot and erotic.
Perhaps he could tell her that her mom ran off with anoher man and she had to stay home and take care of the house.
Whatever happens next, I will be watching for the next chapter.
Thanks for the read...
I'd quit while you're ahead. I don't quite see where the title fits. But passing off anal sex as a pregnancy test? This girl really is naive. The whole father/ daughter relationship struck me as annoyingly juvenile. The father's approach is unbelievable, and lets face it,predatory. "Suck the venom out "?. So what do we have? A father who preys on his own daughter using juvenile language so he can rape her every possible way. Sorry for being so strident. But her naivete and his childish method are just annoying. The wife getting crushed by a heavy wooden cross? Wicked twist :)-.
More please more! ignore the other assholes they want shakespear & marlow, so fuck em. 'This site is mostly for juvenile fantasy YEAH!!!
Ohhh fuck! I loved this story! Hayley blowing him under his desk and the roadhead are two of my hottest fantasies, how did you know? I thought the iPod was a beautiful touch. Bernie should've called her a whore and a slut while she couldn't hear him. I'd love to see a continuation and/or sequel with Hayley and Miranda naively sucking and fucking their dads and whoever their dads tell them to. The job dialogue from the nun was hot and hilarious too. And killing the mother off was a masterful stroke as well. I am favoriting both you and this story. Sorry for gushing like a drunken fan, but your writing is wonderfully filthy and shamelessly hot. Thanks for the stories and I eagerly await what you've got next.
First of all, i will agree with another commenter that "death by giant cross" is pretty funny, in a morbid sort of way.
That said, i did not enjoy this story as much as i did the previous two. Its not that it isn't as filthy and hot as the others, as the set pieces are just as good, if not better, in certain ways. The problem, to my mind, is that both Hayley and Bernie have ceased to be interesting characters. While there is a certain level of erotic wrongness to Hayley's ignorance and naiveté in the first story, its value as a character trait diminishes with every use. Its a fun way to be shocking, but by the end of this story, frankly, she's nothing but a dumb set of holes to be used. She is literally nothing more than a sex toy. Now, i'm not talking about Shakespeare, as one commenter put it, but if you choose to continue this series, you might consider giving her more of a personality and a more active role in the relationship.
With Bernie, there is a similar, though less severe problem. I think you've done a really nice job painting him as this harried and beaten down husband who was stuck in a horrible marriage. It serves you well to explain why he does what he does, and why he seems so weak and incompetent at everything but throat-fucking his daughter. But i do think he has the potential to grow into a more powerful, more competent figure now that his wife is out of the picture.
I really don't think the guy below knows what he is talking about, the whole point of the story is Hayley's innocent and you cannot lose that.
The only thing I would say is that this story should really be the second in the series and then the birthday party should be third.
One last thing I'm not sure what your thing is with having two men at once, too many cocks for my liking! Still it's one of the best stories on here by a long shot.
Never commented on anything here before but you my friend, deserve praise. Love the stories and writing style. Perfect.
I loved Rick! Not usually into black daddies, but he had the whole sexy-asshole thing going on. Maybe Bernie can make good on his offer and let Rick get a piece of Hayley?
I love this series! I liked chapter 2 just fine, but I'd be happy to read an alternate version of it just the same. Keep the good stuff cummin'!
Trouser Snakes Forever!
Great series! I was hooked in by the first story, there really is no equal on this site. The overload of innuendo in this story was hilarious!
As a side note, I think I've found a perfect model for Hayley: Supergirl! See links below.
http://g.e-hentai.org/s/1aa5b1dcec/365985-11
http://g.e-hentai.org/s/e4a4b3c1a9/365985-16
Rest of the gallery can be found here: http://g.e-hentai.org/g/365985/088284d80e/
My little attempt to contribute :-)
while this story is entertaining i have to say that the father character is absolutely evil and i he gets his
Love parts 1 & 3 but not so keen on part 2. Great story, Hayley is such a good girl helping her daddy, as any daughter should. :) x
I love your story, what I will never understand is why people come onto Literotica, read a story (in this case incest related), then come out with comments being really negative about incest etc. It puts me off this site and bothering to spend hours writing and typing up stories. This is an erotic fantasy story, read it in the way it is intended (erotic fantasy), or alternatively don't read it. One more time, this is 'fantasy' get it!
Sorry but some people really are stupid, and for that reason I can't bring myself to submit stories to this site.
I loved part 1 and part 3 of this story, thank you for the time and effort put into writing this erotic fantasy story :) x
This series is one of my favorite on here, and I read TONS of these things. It's so smart and witty, and truly unashamed --actually celebratory -- about the kinks it satisfies. You've got a real talent for writing and I hope you'll do tons more. So sick! So much fun, and it gave *this* girl a GIANT orgasm!
I love this series! It's such a hot hoot of an idea. The ending of the third part put me off a bit, I'd rather his wife ran off with the choir director, who had embezzled funds from the Church (explaining the police being at his home) as the whole death thing isn't very funny (even here) to me.
I would like for both leads to grow a little. Haley should stay innocent but she could still develop some more characteristics, show her burgeoning personality. And I really hope Rick visits Haley sometime soon.
I'd love to see some exhibitionist and IR thrown in too. This is a great story and I look forward to reading more chapters about Haley.
Hi Scott, I hope you are feeling better. Do you know if Trouser Snakes #4 will be coming out soon? I miss Hayley too much! And I hope all is well for you Scottwood and that you are back soon.
This story really held my attention and I kept telling myself "No one could be this stupid even if she is blond"
I liked the way he didn't tell her the bad news but when are the other girls coming back? I'd like to see Jacinta again especially. Hope you do more of the stories soon.
Once I realized the ridiculous intent of this story, I was able to fully enjoy it - and it was awesome!
I rarely seem to finish reading complete stories on literotica, let alone six pagers. And I comment less frequently still! So take that as a mark of how satisfied I am as a reader.
I loved the over-the-top nastiness, and the redhead's internal monologue was fucking delightful!
I was laughing the whole time reading this
The best story I have read on here
when they said the wife's dead....
It felt odd but u had it all planned...
Well weritten....
I loved the rest of the story until this trash. Now he is prostituting his daughter to get accounts? What happens when the next guy wants to fuck her? I read one comment that said to let this story die and I agree. I really liked your work until I read this. It's like someone totally different wrote this part. I hated it. Thinking it's time to remove you from my favorite author list and find someone else's stories to read. Too bad, you really were pretty good until this.
First, let me assure you that I enjoyed this weird and imaginative story immensely. Loved all the Jesus stuff, the Bible reads and so on, so Evangelical Republican! (Couldn't help myself).
What I can't reconcile is why any man, and certainly not I, ever, would pull out in order to sling cum on a woman's face, tits, or wherever. That is a phony device from video porn, and ridiculously useless in written porn. I your cock is in her ass, you WANT TO come in her ass. Same goes for the other holes. Even in a tits fuck, I'd put it in one of her places for the final event.
Nothing filthy here, I read magnificent narrative prose here, well detailed with clearly descriptive phrasing, clever storytelling with immense imagination, high suspense, and extended sequences with explosive climaxes. Keep up the great work. Hailey is definitely a highly intelligent young woman, blessed with a loving father and committed to his support. Unquestionably, she could have a wonderful career by finishing high school and working full time in his office, learning his business and studying her Bible, especially all the passages about loving one's parents and following the guidance of her father.
be be asking Daddy to give her tests as she gets horny or will Daddy tell her they an do the TTTenote- Now that Halley is enjoying her UP FRONT-style of pregnancy test, Will she be asking Daddy to give her tests as she gets horny or will Daddy tell her they can do the TEST that way more frequently?