All Comments on 'Truckstop Takedown'

I wanted to try a couple of new things for this story: a perspective change, as well as no sex scenes.

The perspective change was just a fun experiment, to see what writing in the first person was like. There were no sex scenes because friends and relatives have been curious about my writing, so I wanted to write something I could share with them!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this brief interlude from 'Three Square Meals". I'm working on chapter 57 at the moment, so expect to see that next week.

Tefler

Really enjoyed it. Wouldn't mind more chapters on this, so feel free to write more of this story along with TSM :) hahaha

Nice story even if the father daughter relationship is evident early on. What I didn't get is his relationship to his weapon, BTW the Mjolnir is a pleasant surprise. Is he attached to the weapon because he is part cyborg or is it a relationship similar to agent Hammers to his .44 Magnum?

I had to google Sledge Hammer, as I hadn't heard of it before. Yeah, his relationship with Katie sounds like the same idea.

Thanks for the reference though, that series looks amusing, I'll have to check it out!

Tefler

that was fucking amazing it was like mad max it TSM universe love it and am glad to see some thing in first person im just laughing at how fun a read that was as... alwasy loved it and keep up the good work

Great Story, but it was really dark.

It had humour too but I like happy heroes. I am simple like that.

A brain damaged hero is a scary edge.

Hi Tefler. Very well written. I really enjoyed the speed and flow of Truckstop Takedown. Like others who follow TSM, I check your page every few days to see if a new chapter has been released. Thank you for writing such great stories and sharing them with us.

And welcome back from your Holiday. You and your talent were missed. My thanks to you!

Mad Max on Charon IV! Great start of the story. Looking forward to the rest and waiting for the next episode of TSM of course ;)

Ted Nice back story to help fill the TSM universe. The brain damaged hero was a novel twist, though twigged something was up when the credit balance was the same in the Bar as it was in the mechanics.

Cheers

Mal

After eagerly awaiting new chapters of your "other" story, this one just blew me out of the park!

With the truck stop expansion, no less!

I find your penance offering for taking a break from Three Square Meals to be...acceptable.

It might be interesting to see this expanded upon later. After you finish TSM of course. I would like to find out how he ended up forgetting he had a wife and kid. There's obviously something wrong with his head, considering he thinks a big targeting laser is a woman.

I did catch that bit about the cred stick, what with it's never changing balance. At first I thought it was a mistake on Tef's part, but then I realized that Tef doesn't make mistakes, he's too crafty for that. So then maybe I thought there was a glitch with the display on the cred stick, that it was stuck at displaying that amount. And then Tef reveals the true source of the never changing balance. Very nice. How Jake never caught on is a mystery, but then again, he is a bit brain damaged. Can Rachel do a cameo here and fix him up?

Now get back to work on TSM

IN WITHDRAWAL. ......

It was still in the T.S.M universe but not part of the main story I like it . It expands on the universe and shows there's more to it than we no

Telling a first person story from a brain damaged guy was brilliantly done. I loved the hints you kept dropping (e.g. not only the repeat credit balance, but his repeat response to the balance) that something was amiss, so that the father story became evident to attentive readers. The side story of Katie/KT was also well-played, reminiscent of the Sixth Sense, and I enjoyed the reveal.

However, there is something quite dark underpinning this story, which may be a narrator issue, or may be worth a sequel. You strongly indicate that the revelations are new to Rebecca, and hence (perhaps) they are new to Jake. So why didn't Jessica show him their daughter and/or these news clippings before? If she did and he forgot, then won't he forget again?

I'm really pleased you guys enjoyed the story!

I only intended this to be a one-off, as just a fun experiment to try a few different things, so I probably won't do a follow up.

To answer a few questions that people have raised:

After the crash, Jake was physically injured (hence the metal plate in his head), and was also traumatised by what happened to the spectators. He struggles with remembering things that have happened after the crash, and was also troubled by horrible nightmares and debilitating flashbacks.

Jessica knew that he felt like he needed to atone for what happened, which is why she let him go off on his self-imposed mission to help the people of Charon IV. When he left her to do this, he forgot they were married, and that she was pregnant with Rebecca (who wasn't born then). Jessica explained to her daughter what had happened, but Rebecca struggled to accept what her mother was telling her. It was after spending some time with her dad, that she was able to see that his amnesia was quite genuine, and that he was a good guy, who'd suffered a sad fate.

The Katie delusions are due to a combination of Jake being a bit unstable after the accident, as well as being lonely in his self-imposed exile.

I didn't really try too hard to keep Rebecca's parentage a secret from the reader, sprinkling lots of clues (blue and white bike = same colours as the Valkyrie) and odd looks from everyone. Jake only realises at the end, and that realisation brings him a sense of peace that's escaped him all these years. After 20 years of good deeds, he can finally forgive himself for the 17 people killed In the accident (the red 17 on the Valkyrie).

So now he can settle down with his wife and daughter, no longer troubled by the nightmares, and by being around them, his short term memory will constantly be refreshed, so he won't forget them. It was a dark tale, with a flawed and tragic hero, but ultimately Jake does get a happy ending.

I could have tried to cram all that into the story, but told from the first person, it was tricky to do, especially without messing up the pacing. In the end, I hinted at the above, rather than spell it out word-for-word, so hopefully these notes will fill in some of the gaps I couldn't in the story itself.

Cheers

Tefler

Yes, but why did Jessica let this go on for 18-20 years?

She deprived Rebecca and Jake the experience of sharing her

entire childhood.

...with you and your brain-damaged MC's? First John in TSM, now this... If you seriously want to damage them so badly, cut their d*cks or smth...

A nice change from T.S.M.

And this could easily be stretched

into a few more chapters.

Quite reminiscent of Mad Max.

Just wondering

A well done story, and I think it needs to stay a stand-alone without expansion. People might be interested in what he did during his time in the Asphalt Arena or want to read more of his vagabond adventures, (I would be among them) but this doesn't need it. You get enough in the story and, more importantly, you get the good ending. I think it would ruin any prequels that would come up as it would kill some of the suspense of him surviving to get to the end of "Truckstop Takedown" and I don't want to see him and his daughter roaming the Badlands; he's done enough roaming, he deserves to find his rest in Valhalla.

Now if this was set ten years into his 20-year odyssey and this was the ending we would get, then I would say go for it but I prefer it just be left as is. If anything, this story helps to expand on the Terran Federation within TSM and makes me wonder just how much more this realm has to offer for "entertainment?"

The invoking for me of "Mad Max" as well as "Death Race" (I bend more towards Death Race 2000 w/ David Carradine) was wonderful, and I even got a hint of the anime "GunXSword" when he was calling down the Wrath of Mjolnir, as it made me think of Van invoking Dann of Thursday. In fact, I think I might bring that up in my queue to watch again.

One thing that confused me was the Valkyrie itself: I know you referred to it as a car but he also mentioned climbing into the cab @ the gas station and that it was hauling a trailer so I'm wondering was it a car, a lorry (as you would call them) or was it more like a Monster Truck with a car body and massive 5-feet tall tires?

Great Story as I have come to expect from you. I know you and the other great writers that spend your time to entertain us may not seem appreciated, but you are, each time we read a great story like this one.

Thank you for your service.

First page when Tefler describes the Valkyrie he compares it to an APC: armoured personnel carrier.

Good story. I'm mostly curious about what caused the memory problems. Was it just repressed memories or something else?

I liked the suspense surrounding Katie. At times I thought it was a woman and then I thought a dog or some other pet. Another point I was thinking a mech suit similar to size of Iron Man with a set code to give mobility. Then it turns into an orbiting ship that is essentially Zeus calling forth lightning.

Also I had a feeling Rebecca was his daughter almost immediately. Not sure what have it away for me but I just had the feeling. As for Jess I thought maybe she and Jake had spent one last night together and Rebecca was the result.

And then the cred stick. Every time the balance appeared after the first incident I was very curious about it, half thinking it was some typo every time or if the transfer system as faulty but then that didn't make sense for long.

Really just a good story.

I imagined Jake's Valkyrie as something a bit larger and more armoured than Batman's Tumbler, but it looks more like an oversized NASCAR vehicle.

The Vulcans are built into the hood, and there's a big ramplate on the front.

Hope that helps!

Tefler

I liked the story - interesting and a bit mysterious. Kind of a mad max meets serenity kind of mood. The author's clarifications also helped - usually don't need to do that, but it helped here. The ending was very moving. Well done!

All I can say is Holy Shit!!!! Your stories always keep me entertained. Keep up the great writing.

A brain-damaged Mad Max in an alternate universe -- well done! Katie even threw me for a loop there at first, wondering why she wasn't more prominently placed in the story as his sidekick.

Cheers!

When I saw this story instead of another chapter to 3 Square meals I called you every name I could. But damn you for writing another excellent story. Once I was done reading it you were almost forgiven. Was the memory lapse caused by a traumatic brain injury? Or possibly PTSD?

This reminds me of a sci-fi I read 55 years plus ago by one of the big name writers of that time, can't remember his name, sorry. The reason I am saying this is, this far exceeds what he wrote. I had at the time wanted him to write more, now I have you to enjoy, THANKS!!! If this helps the one who's stories I remember bad mouthed the

author of Star Trek but wrote a lot like him. The Three Squares stories are pretty good, BUT this really is Great! Please do more. Had to go look it up, Isaac Asimov.

Also enjoy Anne McCaffrey, hope you take this as praise as that is what I intended.

44 Navy Colt

This is the best non-erotic story that I have ever read. You deserve an award, seriously. This was great.

Great many thanks for this wonderful story!!!

How much longer until the next chapter of 3 square meals the wait is killing us tefler

Okay ... I have not commented as of yet, but have been a faithful reader ... fan ... follower ... stalker ... and am now fanatically gripped with both of your story lines. I have never ... ever ... been as spell bound by a story line as I have been by these, my hopes for you are to see you found by a publisher and for you to reap the benefits of your amazing efforts! Thank you so much for sharing the wealth of your imagination with me ... with us all

This is one of the best stories I have read in a long time. Every time the balance in his account came up I got confused and was like "isn't that the same number it was earlier?" Lol

We finally meet John's psychic mom. While I look forward to more from three square meals I was gratified to find this story tied to that one and revealing a fascinating background for Jessica. Is Jake the progenitor? He seems to black out a lot, remembering only one of the last five bands of raiders he smashed up -- his head don't work too good. Cocky and conscientious, I like him!

Sorry wet_special, they are two different women. Jessica Blake (John's mother) was in the Terran Federation military, and went missing in her twenties. Jessica Beaumont grew up on Charon IV and left with Jake to go to the game worlds. She returned to the planet when she was pregnant with Rebecca.

I probably should have given her a different name to avoid confusion, but wasn't really thinking that much about 3SM when I wrote it.

Cheers

Tefler

you are a great writer get on your pc and keep on keeping on

love your work

paps

What a lucky find for me. How is it I didn't know about you. Excellent writing and amazing imagination. Thank you for sharing it 💕

Out of all the things you've written, this is my favorite. A cross over with TSM would be a nice treat to see.

Lovelyou little bit of work in the universe. I like the symbolism you used as well as how skillfully you worked the personality of the guy. Katie was awesome too.

This was an unexpected treasure of a story that I read waiting for Chapter 87 of "Three Square Meals " . Needless to say I am a true fan of your stories and will wait with bated breath for the next instillation . Just wondered if you have other stories published elsewhere that I am unaware of , and wondered how to access them .

Needless to say that this one got 5*'s for sure .

Thanks for the read

tx cracker

More dude more, liking your style!! Multi Gracie!!

I truly enjoyed this story as much as i have enjoyed TSM thank you for sharing with us. I was here when TSM's first chapter was posted i have read every chapter since and will continue to do so. I am not alone i am sure, when i say that we would all thouroughly enjoy continuing to visit these worlds you have created,so on behalf of all your fans keep em coming Tefler.

Hope there is more to this story. I also like TSM. I bought TSM on Amazon so I can read it one shot rather than the small chapters here.

I'm caught up on TSM, just read this one... I gotta say, you've got some real talent!! Anxiously awaiting your chapter 95 for TSM, guess I'll have to find another short story to hold me over.

That...... Was....... AWESOME!

I have read all your stories on this sight so far and loved all of them.

Waiting on TSM 101, I read in one of your replies that you had Pics of the girls and

maps for TSM will you be putting them out with the story here?

I have lost a lot of sleep trying to see whats coming next, Your righting keeps me on the edge of my seat!

You have a very entertaining style that just sucks a reader in and will not let them go, but keep them wanting more.

Please keep up the awesome work, You have this Old Man on pins and needles waiting for the next release.

Excellent story not cluttered with endless versions of erotic encounters. Just great adventure. Did enjoy greatly.

With the unchanging credit balance and riding into Valhalla, I was sure I knew where this story would end up. I liked your ending MUCH better than mine, lol.

Reading TT shows the source of TSM

I keep coming back here between TSM chapters and the story is just as good every time. You ought to consider a series about Titanium Jake. I imagined a few story lines as I read it. Jake could be a hero defending the "little guy" between races. He could be recruited by a government to rescue a Galactic Leader that was kidnapped. There's even room for an evil-doer enters the race, kills some of the good guys and only Jake can take him down plots too.

Last time I was waiting for Chapter 87 when I wrote my review ,(Nothing has changed still a GREAT story ) now I'm waiting on 130

...but that's all. Couldn't wait to finish the story and move on. Lack of sympathetic characters, and excessive mayhem were the story. Sorry!

Nice - ending was predictable - and perfectly done.

Great story. Kathie surprised me :)

Good story...Steve Jackson's Car Wars/ Truck Stop game running thru my memories. The ending I could see coming, but only because I anticipated a happy ending. There's certainly room for a sequel here.

Anon56

A must read. Yes it was kinda obvious he was Daddy, but didn't you want to see the clues?

A bit Mad Max/Thunderdome-esque but hey, nothing wrong with tribute acts or homages, yes it was a bit signalled, but no less fun for all of the clues scattered around, got clean fun tbh and I enjoyed it! Thanks for writing and posting, cheers Ppfzz. 5⭐️

Not something that I would typically be drawn to BUT once I got started, I COULDN'T WALK AWAY FROM IT ! ! !

Amazing Creativity !

THANKS !

Good story again. Expected Rebecca was his daughter but it wasn't clear Jessica was his wife. Could be a sequel if you wished. 5⛤

Hot damn! Bloody good tale!

Great Mad Max/Space Opera/Wild West Hybrid ,

WOW! That was a fun ride. Have not read any TSM yet so don't know if this is in the same universe or a completely separate story. Would like a sequel to fill in the details of the back story.

Thanks.