by Egmont Grigor
Reminds me of Dudley Do-Right of the Canadian Mounted Police ... love those cartoons and liked this heroic tale.
I forget if it was Oscar Wilde or Bernard Shaw who said that America and England are two nations separated by a common language. After reading this story I can’t help but believe that there’s a much greater divide between New Zealand and America, despite the common language.
This needs an editor so bad I'm not sure one would agree to take it. Add in unbelievable characters and disturbing behavior and its a solid 1 star story. I never leave bad reviews or rate this poorly either, so this one really stinks.
Not enough detail... too fast paced. Need to flush it out a lot... maybe divide it up into multiple chapters. It was okay but I found myself just skimming things once it got to the tub scene. I'd do a total rewrite.