True Love Ch. 11

I threw my bag under my bedframe and jumped back onto the mattress. It was only when I was laid out like this did I realize how sore I was. Everything ached. I stretched out and rubbed over my muscles. I looked down at my watch and saw that I had a few hours before dinner with Chelsea. Just enough time for a little nap. I shut my eyes and felt sleep pass over me instantly.

When I fell asleep I was a little surprised. Not because of the act itself, but for the fact that I began to dream. I didn't usually dream and when I did dream I nearly never remembered it after I woke up. This time I did. The other thing that kind of caught me off guard was the way I dreamed this time. When I had dreamt in the past things had always been fuzzy. People weren't people. They weren't whole, more shapes, or puffs of smoke. Yeah, puffs of smoke that reminded me of people I knew. This was different though. I saw clearly. It was as if I was awake. Everything felt so real, but not.

It began with me in a room. Just me. The room was bare. There was nothing special about the room either. The only thing that stood out about the room was that each wall had a door in the middle. Nothing stood out about these doors and so I decided to go to the one directly in front. It was the most obvious choice.

When I walked through the door I found myself in a fancy restaurant. I looked down at myself and was taken aback by the fancy suit that I was wearing. It looked expensive. I ran my hands along the lapels and down the jacket. It felt expensive. I looked up and saw a familiar face waving at me. It was Chelsea. She looked amazing. I walked over to her and embraced her. Her dress looked just as pricey as my suit. The rich blue fabric clung tightly to her body. Her shoulders were strapped around by the dress which left her cleavage exposed and stopped short of her knees. Speaking of cleavage, her bust was larger. She had had them enhanced. Her face seemed different as well. She was not only more mature, but there appeared to be little alterations here and there. Where she had been gorgeous before, she was now flawless.

After our hug she hooked her arm into mine and we were escorted to our table. Everything was so different than I had experienced yet I knew what I was doing. I looked across the table and saw Chelsea smiling at me. She reached across the table and placed her hand over mine. I glanced down when I felt something cold brush my finger and saw a huge ring. It was a wedding ring. She was married. To who? She moved her hand back and for the first time I noticed the ring on my hand. I was married to Chelsea? Was this my future? I excused myself and went to the bathroom. The dream was making me confused. I felt sick. I pushed past an older man and stumbled into the bathroom.

When I entered the room everything vanished in an instant. I was back in the room where the dream had begun. It was still empty. I looked down and saw the suit was gone. I was dressed plainly once more and the ring was gone. My head hurt. I was trying to process everything, but nothing was adding up.

I went across the room to the door that was originally behind me. Just like before, as soon as I stepped through I was in a new place, but this time it was different. I looked around and saw that I was in a house. There was light everywhere. The wooden walls were lined with picture frames that were obscured by the glare of the sun coming in through the windows. I walked around and felt oddly at peace, despite being in a place I didn't know. I wondered around until I ended up on the back patio.

It was beautiful. I could see the lake. Lake Fisher. I moved my eyes around and saw Sam laying back on a lounge chair. I moved over and sat down on the one next to her. She smiled at me and reached over to hold my hand. I saw the gleam from a wedding band and knew that I had one as well.

Was this a different future? Was each door a glimpse into what my life could be?

I didn't dwell on it long because Sam had yelled something out, snapping me from my thoughts. I jerked up and looked down to the lake. There were two children jumping into the water down by the pier. My children. I knew they were mine. I felt it deep in my soul. I looked quickly at Sam and back at the children and then to her. She was just smiling at me. Then in the sweetest voice she calmly asked me to get her some tea from the fridge. Without even having to think my body reacted and I got up from the chair and went inside.

Just like before, as soon as I went through the door I was transported back to the bare room. I turned around and kicked the wall. The door was gone. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to go back. I screamed out. I turned my back to the now door-less wall and sank down to the floor. I looked across from me and saw that Chelsea's door was gone as well.

I knew this was a dream. Everything felt real, but I had no control. I wanted it to end. I wanted to wake up and forget about it, just like all my other dreams. I wanted it more than anything, but I couldn't force myself awake. I stood up and walked to the door on the right of me. I twisted the knob and stepped on through.

I blinked once and saw that I was in a hotel room. It looked much nicer than the ones I was used to staying in. I could see out the window and saw that I was pretty high up in a large city. I was walking around the room shirtless with pajama bottoms on. I wasn't alone. I could see someone sitting on the couch watching the television.

The room was dark. The only illumination came from the sports highlights and the city below. I tried to see who it was sitting on the couch, but it was difficult. I walked slowly to the leather sofa. The head poking out above the back belonged to a woman. She had short hair. Blonde and short. Who did I know with hair like that?

I came around the couch and sat down next to her quickly. She turned to face me and I saw that it was Trixie. She had dyed her hair. It looked good. She looked good. I could see now that she was sitting half naked. She didn't hide her breasts when I sat next to her. It was odd seeing her this way. The way she looked at me made me feel like we were more than friends. The tension between us felt intimate, yet something felt wrong.

She leaned forward and kissed me and any thoughts I was having went away. I melted into her. It was so much more than a kiss. It was an escape. It was a grasp at the past. It was what I needed. She stood up and led me towards the bedroom. Me and my erection followed behind. I paused for just a second at the doorway. I wanted to tell her to wait. I wanted to scream for her to stay at the couch, but the second my foot crossed through I was back in the room.

I was done fighting it. I knew there was no winning. All I could do was hope that this would all be over when I went through the last door. I quickly crossed the way and opened the final door remaining.

When I opened my eyes I saw that I was in a doctor's office. I limped over to the table and sat on the paper covering the surface. Why was I limping? I rubbed along my thigh. It felt tight, painful. I must have gotten injured while playing. I sat and waited for a while before my doctor came in. She was gorgeous. I knew from the instant I saw her that I wanted her.

I smiled my biggest smile and did my best to play it tough while she ran her hands along my thigh. She pressed her smooth hands into my bare skin and I felt a rush. She looked up into my eyes and we stared at each other for several moments.

She asked me more basic medical stuff and I answered her to the best of my knowledge, but the only thing I could think about was her long brown hair, her hazel eyes, and her pouty lips. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. The smile on her face told me she was thinking the same thing I was, but I knew nothing would happen there. She remained professional and told me I could get dressed and set up my next appointment at the desk before excusing herself from the room.

I pulled on my pants and put on my dress shirt and hobbled towards the door. I wondered if I would end up back in the dreaded room. Then there was a moment of fear before I turned the knob that I would forget all of this when I woke up, and just like that. Poof!

I jolted upright in my bed. I held my head as I tried to hold on to every piece of information. I knew I had forgotten most of what I dreamed. I couldn't remember what was said, but the images remained. I looked around the room and from the orange like glow pouring in through the window I could tell that the sun had started to set.

If I wanted to make it to dinner on time I would need to get up and start to get ready now.

---

I arrived at Andretti's just a few minutes before eight. I had no clue if Chelsea was there yet and so I walked up to the hostess. She looked like a freshman. Her appearance was so demure. She blushed and pulled a strand of her blonde hair back behind her ear. The black cocktail dress that was the standard uniform for the hostesses there looked good on her.

"Excuse me, has a woman shown up waiting on a date?"

I saw her face deflate. She looked down at her podium and scanned the list of names.

"Name?"

"Chelsea."

"No one here by that name. Would you like a table?"

"Yes, a table for two please."

"You're in luck. A table just opened up. Follow me."

I walked behind the girl and couldn't help but steal a glance at her ass. Her cheeks were held up nicely by her dress and there was a noticeable sway to her hips as she moved. I seemed to notice the little things like that more often now. The little blushing smiles, the stares, and the swivel of hips as they walked in front of me.

That was Sam's doing actually. She warned me about the groupies that would be sure to come. I ignored her advice for the most part, but some of it stuck in my head. I began to pay attention to the way woman acted around me. Some were more blatant than others though. The waitress was fairly tame compared to some women.

"Here's your table. Your server will be Jessica. My name is Tina if you need anything just let me know." She flashed me a warm smile and went back to the front.

I thought I would be sitting there for a while and so I pulled out my phone and started look through some news articles. Since we had just won the national championship, our team was fresh on Sportscenter still. There were highlights of our playoff run and plenty of news casters talking about me.

In the past I tried to ignore the articles and the buzz about me. It was cancerous to listen too. The good news would inflate your head and the bad news would make you self-conscious. Back when Sam and me were dating they focused on my sexuality a lot more. Now it was more of a footnote. They would talk about my abilities as a five tool guy. Then they would talk about my character and how good I was with the local community. It was flattering, but then they would leave their little note about my known relationship with a transsexual and how that would affect the locker room and if the other players would be comfortable with it. The various anchors would play it off very well. They would shrug it off like they didn't know how it would go and that they were in full support, but I knew better. I had seen how that very situation had played out in both football and basketball. The media was supportive but then you would be sitting there seeing the newsfeed about how they weren't quite picking up the game like the other straight athletes and were then subsequently cut from the team.

The good thing was that I was protected. Professional baseball had passed an anti-gay discrimination policy that protected players from getting cut based on their sexuality. That meant that all I had to do was play well enough and ownership would have no choice but to keep me. Another thing working in my favor was the fact that I would be playing in Houston, a city with an openly gay mayor. A fact I was keenly aware of since I had received letters from her and her office vowing support for me.

In fact, her letters weren't the only ones I had received. I had gotten letters from across the country and even internationally praising me for my courage and wishing me luck. I thought it was strange, especially since I didn't really feel different than anyone else. Despite that, I had spent several nights crying after reading the letters from homosexual kids, teens, and adults telling me about the discrimination they had received and after hearing of how I was making it despite my sexuality was giving them hope. Some of their stories were horrible. Hearing about the bullying kids received in school and the abuse some of the teens got from their own parents was absolutely horrendous.

This all weighed in on my mind. When I wasn't thinking about anything. When my mind didn't wonder to my future with Trixie or Chelsea and when I wasn't focused on working out or baseball or anything like that I would think about what my future meant to thousands of people I didn't even know. It was a scary thought to know that my success meant that much to people when it didn't even mean that much to me.

I closed my phone and looked up. I happened to do this just in time, because I saw Chelsea walk into the room and begin talking to the hostess.

Chelsea was stunning. She was always beautiful, but you could tell that she had done her best to stand out. She had put extensions in her hair. Her long hair was straightened and hung down past her shoulders. Her face was as flawless as ever and seemed to glow when she turned to face me. Her impeccable smile lit up the room and made my heart race. Her white cocktail dress was pressed tightly against her curves. There was a singular thick strap across her left shoulder that swooped down and left the top of her breasts exposed.

I stood up from my seat as she came closer and moved in to hug her. I was careful to not mess up her look and pulled away to get her chair for her, letting her sit before I sat back down.

"Thank you Alex. Hope I didn't keep you too long."

"Not too long. You look gorgeous."

"Oh stop, you're the one who has every girl in here staring."

"I haven't noticed." It was true. I hadn't noticed. The only one I had was the hostess. I looked around and could see that there were quite a few eyes focused towards me. I looked back to Chelsea and just focused on her. She always made my heart flutter when she was near me. I couldn't help but smile when I saw her. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

"Oh my God, right? I could eat a horse right now."

"How about lasagna instead?"

"You're reading my mind."

The lasagna at Andretti's was a local fixture. It was published in several newspapers and magazines. It tasted amazing. The thing was massive. It was like a pound and a half per plate. It was also like crack too. The homemade sauce, noodles, and hearty portions of both meat and local grown vegetables were the backbone. Then there was like six different cheeses. I think it had Ricotta, Mozzarella, Provolone, Asiago, Parmigiano-Reggiano, and Gorgonzola. It was so decadent and rich.

We didn't need to look at the menu at all. We both knew what we wanted. Two orders of the lasagna with a bottle of Chianti to split. The waitress took the order and went back to the kitchen while Chelsea and me made eyes at each other.

"Does this all feel like a date-date to you?" She broke the silence after the waitress had left.

"It does. Is that weird?"

"Not sure. We've never really done anything like this without Trixie or someone else here with us."

"That's true. So is this an actual date then? Like, if things go well, we're dating? Boyfriend and girlfriend?"

The questions hung in the air. It's not like I hadn't thought about this all day. I just didn't know how I felt anymore. I looked down and sighed.

"What's wrong Alex. Did I say something wrong? We don't have to..."

"It's not that. I'm sorry. I've just been stressed lately."

"What have you been stressed about? Is it Sam?"

"No no, nothing like that. She's been fine. I've just been thinking about what I'm going to do now that this semester is over. I don't know if I should go pro right now or finish out my last year or not."

"What's stopping you?" She said it as if the choice was obvious. Like I shouldn't even be considering staying in college.

"To be honest. You." I stared at her and she recoiled a little. "And Trixie and even David. You have all been amazing to me and helped me out so much. I don't know if I'm ready to leave you all behind."

"Alex. I'm going to ask you a question. It's okay if you say no, but I just want to put it out there. You know that I've had a crush on you. I know there's no way Trixie hasn't told you by now. That little gossip." I averted my gaze and looked back. She rolled her eyes. "Anyways, besides the fact that I've had this crush on you, you've been a really good friend. You've never treated me bad and have always been there for me. Most guys that look like you aren't so kind." She trailed slightly as if remembering an ancient ghost from her past. "I don't really need to stay in college and frankly it's starting to get boring. I've only stayed this long because of you and Trixie. So, here's my question. If I were to dropout, would you be interested in us dating and me tagging along with you?"

It was such an odd proposal. Most people start dating and after a few years ask their partner to move in with them and so on. This felt like Chelsea was asking to move in with me before we were even dating. It wasn't the worst idea. I had a crush on her, she was nearly my best friend, and to top it off it would be nice to have someone with me while I was establishing myself.

I was about to say something when I remembered the dream. I remembered the romantic restaurant, the fancy clothes, and the rings. It was only a dream, but it felt like I was choosing a path that lead to that future. It scared me. I was still recovering to some degree from Sam. I had been ready to marry her and then she tore my heart out.

"Can I tell you something before I answer?"

"Of course."

I was about to speak, but was interrupted by our waitress bringing our plates and setting them down with a bottle of wine. She lit the candles at our table, adding to the ambiance.

"I've been thinking about the future a lot lately. It's actually been the main source of my stress." I grabbed the wine and poured her and me a glass. "These last few months have been some of the best in my life. Between baseball and hanging out with you and Trixie it has been magical. I was in a dark place after what happened with Sam and you were both there for me and I will always appreciate that." I paused and looked at Chelsea. She was staring back at me. She was listening, really listening, and that comforted me. "The thing is, I am still in a dark place. I don't know if I can trust anyone like I did before. And that isn't a mark against you or Trixie or David or anyone. I just can't after her. It's a scary thought being able to trust someone completely like that once again." She never faltered. Her eyes were as focused as when I started and she seemed to understand. She nodded her head and only broke eye contact for small moment to take a few sips of her wine. "That said. I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of commitment with you Chelsea. We haven't even really dated. We have to stop and think of everything. I don't know if I could live with myself if for some reason things didn't work and I tore you away from college. And yeah, I know your heart isn't in it anymore, but the fact remains. What would it do to Trixie if you left? It would leave her here alone. She would no longer have her roommate and best friend with her anymore." I stopped when I felt a hand reach across the table and close over mine. Chelsea gently kneaded her fingers across the top of my hand. "I guess what I'm saying is I need to take things slow. Right now everything seems to be moving so fast and I just need something to make it normal. Can we just try dating first and then see what happens?"