Trying It Out

I went through the motions of putting dinner on the table. John ate with gusto; I can't remember doing anything more than pushing my food around my plate, but when I looked at my plate as John cleared the table, the food was gone.

After everything was cleaned up, we sat on the couch together watching some meaningless TV.

"You know," John said, turning towards me waggling his eyebrows, "all this talk about sex has got me really turned on. Why don't we go upstairs and raise the bar for our competition?"

Frankly, I was dreading competing against Heather. She was much younger than me, with a tighter body, and I was sure she was wilder in bed than I was, but I had to give it my best shot, so I followed John upstairs.

As we entered the bedroom, John dimmed the lights just enough to be romantic, but still enabling us to see what we were doing.

John gently lifted my chin up and kissed me softly on my lips, but soon we were kissing each other with a new-found passion, and I began to think, 'Wow, if just the IDEA of us having sex with someone else got us this hot, how wild will it be when we actually do it?'

John carefully removed my clothes, laying each article of clothing gently on my dressing table chair. As each part of my body was revealed, he gently stroked it, planting light kisses on it.

Each time I reached to remove his clothes he gently rebuffed me until I was standing completely naked in front of him.

When I reached for him, he stopped me again.

"Just as the other night was for me," he said, "Tonight is for you."

He took my hand, led me to our bed and sat me down on the edge. He got down on his knees, pushed my legs apart and kissed up my right thigh. Just as my anticipation of his mouth on my pussy was reaching a peak, he pulled away and started kissing up my left thigh. I moaned in passion and frustration, and the next time he neared my pussy I reached for his head and pulled him home.

I swear I heard him chuckle as he made sweet love to me with his mouth; I could hold back no longer and had a crashing orgasm.

I had rarely let John go down on me, and now I was seriously wondering why.

While I came down, John swung my legs up onto the bed and moved me up so that my head was on the pillow.

John quickly got undressed, and this time he rode me, giving me another couple of orgasms before coming himself. He just smiled at me, gave me a kiss on the lips and rolled off me.

"Good night, my Love," he said as he drifted off to sleep.

I was too spent to reply.

I lay next to John, watching him sleep. I was unable to sleep despite a marathon session of sex, my mind abuzz with swirling, confusing thoughts.

I couldn't remember the last time John and I had sex, no, made love, with such energy and passion. Was it fear of what the coming week would bring, excitement and anticipation at what we were about to do, or some combination of those and some other, unknown factors?

I finally fell asleep, with dreams of mad passionate love with faceless lovers interspersed with nightmares of being left all alone.

I awoke to the smells of breakfast cooking and went down to the kitchen to find a cheerful John, fairly bubbling with excitement as he put out plates of bacon, eggs and toast, along with fresh-brewed coffee.

"You know, maybe there IS something to this experimentation thing," he said with a big smile, "I can't remember when we had a night like last night. It was hotter than blazes!"

While I certainly agreed with his assessment of our bedroom escapades, a nagging thought began to take root in my brain. John was remarkably easy to talk into this. In fact, he really didn't need to be talked into it at all. Could he have already been having an affair with Heather? No, I rejected that idea out of hand. John was as honest as the day was long. He was probably more honest than I was, and I couldn't go behind his back.

Another, more likely scenario, was that he was playing a game with me, that he had no intention of sleeping with Heather, that he was trying to scare me out of my madness. Maybe his love making was his way of showing me what I had to lose.

Should I, could I, call this whole thing off?

I was going to scream; this indecision was getting me nowhere.

In the end, I decided to just let things go, see where Fate took us.

Monday, John went to work dressed maybe a little less casual than normal, but nothing indicating that he considered the day to be anything special. He and Heather would be going to dinner right after work, so he wouldn't be coming home to change.

I suppose I could have met up with Larry, but I didn't think that I would be very good company. I had no appetite, and I certainly had no desire to fend of Larry's attempts at seduction.

John was home around eight with a big smile.

"Have a good time?" I asked.

"Yes, very," he said, "we had a wonderful dinner at 'Alphonse's,' and it was quite different seeing Heather outside the normal work environment."

"What did you talk about?"

"Oh, you know, this and that. She was still amazed that you would want to do this. Not to toot my own horn, but she said, 'If I had a guy like you I wouldn't let a bitch like me get within a mile of you!'"

I tried to laugh, but I'm afraid it came out a bit strangled.

"You did tell her that I trust you, that this is a one-time thing, and that you were also giving me the same privilege?"

"Of course, of course."

Fortunately, John didn't initiate sex, I was just too wound up. We just cuddled together with me spooned into John, wrapped in his (hopefully) loving arms.

Wednesday, I decided that I wasn't going to just sit around on pins and needles while John was out with Heather, and decided to take my chances with Larry. I called him up and got him to invite me out to dinner. I was pleasantly surprised when he was a complete gentleman. I don't know if I had misjudged him or if he just didn't want to blow things for Friday night. Probably the latter.

Thursday, I made another special dinner, and while John cleaned up I changed into my sexiest nightie, sprayed on John's favorite perfume and went back downstairs. If he was going to sleep with Heather Friday night, I was going to give him something to compare it to! I leaned in the kitchen doorway, and as he put away the last of the dishes I whistled, and he turned around.

"Hey, big boy, care to help a poor girl out?"

I thought he was going to knock me over as he crossed the room, scooped me up and carried me to bed.

I wish that I could say that it was a repeat of Friday night's romantic love making, but it was more of a mad sexual release.

This time John quickly stripped off his clothes and turned down the bed, then turned to me and lifted my negligee off before laying me down on the bed.

He then attacked my pussy with no preliminaries. He then spun his body around so that his penis was dangling in my face. As I said, oral sex, especially blow jobs, were never a big part of our sexual repertoire, but John lifted his mouth from my pussy and wiggled his hips back and force, wagging his cock. His intentions were quite clear, and I reached for it, put just the head in my mouth and began gently sucking.

That seemed to satisfy John and he went back to eating my pussy until I came. Fortunately, he didn't seem to care about my reciprocating, and swung back around, entering me with one smooth stroke.

As he leaned in to kiss me, I started to turn away; I've never been a fan of my own taste; but this was a brave new world; I would do it. I turned back to kiss him deeply, and I don't know if it was guilt or the passion of the moment, but it wasn't that bad.

I had another orgasm, followed closely by John, and I got up to get a washcloth to clean us up.

We fell asleep in each other's arms, and I actually had a peaceful sleep.

All too soon, Friday morning came; it was time to put up or shut up.

Over breakfast I confronted the elephant in the room.

"John, I was just wondering if you thought we should really do this, if we weren't risking too much?"

"Sweetheart, that's your decision. You asked for this; if you've changed your mind, just say so. We can certainly call the whole thing off. Heather and your young man will be disappointed, but that's their problem."

Damn him! He was clever, putting the ball back in my court. He knew that if he stopped it, it would be something I could hold against him. It was all on me. I felt like one of those cartoon characters with an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.

"Don't do it, Jane," the angel said, "you're risking your marriage over nothing."

"Go for it," the devil said, "you may never get another chance like this. What do you have to lose? You have John's permission."

"You have everything to lose," the angel said, "You may have John's permission, but will you still have his respect? What if he decides that he's more attracted to Heather?"

The devil was ready for that one. "So what if he does want Heather? You'll take him to the cleaners and be free to have as many men as you want!"

My head was spinning.

I don't know how much time had gone by, but John was there with his arm around me.

"Are you okay, Jane?" he asked, "You looked out of it for a minute there."

"No... no, I'm okay, I was just lost in thought for a moment. I guess this is it! Are you coming home first?"

"No, I've already packed an overnight bag. Heather and I will go to dinner after work, and then... well, you know."

Unfortunately, I did. I was still struggling; it still wasn't too late to end this foolishness, but my stubborn streak won out.

"Yes, I think that I'll do the same."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a deep, loving kiss.

"Well, don't work too hard, have fun, but not TOO much fun!" I said with a smile that I wished I felt.

"The same to you, Sweetheart," he said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

He turned to go out the door, then looked back and we waved good-bye.

Once he pulled out of the driveway, I sat down with my head in my hands, wondering if I had just stabbed my marriage in the heart.

Pulling myself together, I decided that if this was going to be the death of my marriage, I was going to damn well make it worth it!

I put on my sexiest lingerie, and the sexiest business appropriate outfit I had. I packed an overnight bag with everything I would need, especially a super-sexy peignoir, and went off to work.

Work was work, I was glad that there were no major crises because I probably would have screwed up royally.

I met up with Larry, and was pleased to see that he had made reservations at one of the more elegant hotel restaurants. I was sure that he had a room reserved upstairs, as well.

The food was excellent, but the conversation was forced, both of us thinking more about what was to come after dinner.

We were both too nervous to do more than hold hands while riding in the elevator, but as soon as the door to the room closed we were in each other's arms, kissing with abandon.

Part of me wishes that I could say that Larry's kisses left me cold, but the truth is that I was getting really turned on.

I pulled away, tuned the radio to a romantic station and started a slow strip tease as Larry sat on the couch unbuttoning his shirt. As my lingerie came into view, Larry was obviously getting turned on as was evidenced by the tent in his pants.

As I got down to my panties, Larry had stripped to his boxers. I sashayed over, swinging my hips, and pulled off my panties. I began giving him a lap dance, and soon felt some dampness as he came in his boxers. I pulled off his boxers, and he reached to pull my head down to clean him with my mouth, but I stood up and went to the bathroom to get a warm washcloth to clean him up.

I got up on the couch and straddled him on my knees, bringing my pussy to his mouth. He was certainly no slouch as a pussy eater, and had no trouble getting me off, but he couldn't hold a candle to my John.

We moved over to the bed, turned back the covers and climbed in. Without saying anything, Larry made it obvious that he expected me to suck him back to hardness. I rarely did that for John, and I was certainly not going to do it for Larry!

Instead, I started stroking him to get him hard again, and my first thought was, 'what was Alice thinking?' His cock was nice enough, I suppose, but nothing to get so excited about. Maybe John's was more impressive than I thought, having had nothing to compare it to.

I rolled over and Larry got between my legs. As he began to enter me, my mind started to imagine what John and Heather were doing. It took me right out of the moment, and Larry might have been the best lover in the world, or the worst; it wouldn't have mattered, I just couldn't get into it. Oh, I had my orgasms, but purely from the physical stimulation. I just couldn't get the image of John and Heather out of my mind.

Larry, of course, thought it was the best thing since sliced bread.

"Man, you were fantastic, babe, simply the best! I'll bet ol' John never did you like that."

I almost slapped him.

"You leave John out of this! On his worst day he can fuck rings around you!"

"Then why the fuck are you here?"

"Believe me, I've been asking myself that very same question!"

With that, I grabbed a hotel robe, took a shower, and tried to scrub Larry's filth off of me; if only I could do the same to my soul.

When I came out of the bathroom, Larry was already asleep and I curled up on the couch. He was still asleep when I awoke, thankfully. I threw the lingerie and peignoir in the trash, decided that the dress was too good to trash and just stuffed it into my bag. I put on my sensible lingerie, a T-shirt and jeans and took off.

I got home and was a little surprised that John was already there, sitting at the kitchen table drinking his coffee.

I grabbed a cup and sat down opposite to him.

"You're home earlier than I expected," I said.

He just shrugged.

"So are you," he said, and went back to drinking his coffee.

The silence was nearly unbearable.

John was the first to speak.

"So, how was it?" he asked, "Was it all that you expected?"

"The evening was pleasant enough, I guess, and the sex was okay..."

John raised his eyebrows.

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that, John! It's just that the whole time that he was... doing it, all that I could think about was you with Heather. I saw you caressing her firm young breasts, saw her sucking your pen... your cock the way you've tried to get me to do. I saw you getting pleasure from her like you never have from me..."

I was unable to continue.

"Jane," John said, "The first thing you have to believe is that I love you. I have never loved anyone but you, and I never will.

"Having said that, your concerns aren't entirely unjustified."

My heart sank.

"As we both know, our sex life has never been very adventurous. I don't know if it's because we were each the other's one and only, or what, but it is what it is.

"I can't say that I was ever less than satisfied, but guys talk, and of course there's porn. I did wonder about things like what it would feel like to get a real blow job, to have a woman suck my cock, not because I begged her to do it, but because she wanted to do it, that it gave HER pleasure.

"But we were happily married, and I would have never done anything to jeopardize that, so it remained a fantasy.

"Then, you made your proposition, and I saw the opportunity to bring my fantasy to life. I won't lie to you; it was every bit as exciting as I thought it would be. When we got to our hotel room we had barely closed the door when Heather dropped to her knees and pulled down my pants and underwear.

"I got hard almost immediately, and Heather licked my cock up one side, then the other, wearing a big smile all the while. It was all I could do to keep from shooting my load right there. She rose up and took my entire length into her mouth in one move.

"She moved her mouth up and down, swirling her tongue around the head on each upstroke. I tried to stop her as I was about to cum, but she just took me deeper until I came in her mouth. She pulled off and showed me my cum on her tongue before swallowing it. I don't mean to hurt you, but it was just about the hottest thing ever."

My heart sank another couple of notches.

"When she rose up to kiss me I started to turn away, but she pulled me back and made me kiss her with my cum on her lips. It was a bit strange at first, but not particularly gross or anything.

"When I returned the favor, she gave me some instruction on pleasuring a woman that I think you'll appreciate!"

My heart starting rising back up - John was telling me that we would be making love again!

"The intercourse itself was exciting, but only because it was different, I can't say that it was better or worse than when we do it.

"I guess the question now is where do we go from here?"

I couldn't think of anything to say, was John asking me to stay, or what.

Suddenly a damn broke and I ran out of the kitchen in tears, nearly knocking John over as I ran up to our bedroom, slammed the door and locked it.

A short while later I heard John rapping on the door, calling my name, but I ignored him until he went away.

I was so angry, but the strange part was who I was angry at. One minute I was angry at John for his hot sex with Heather, then being mad at myself for setting it up. The next I was mad at myself for being so stupid as to risk my marriage to a wonderful man over some foolish gossip. I went back and forth so much that I felt like a tennis ball.

After a while, the anger gave way to fear and tears. Had I destroyed our marriage?

Next was more anger, and a different fear. How could I compete with the hot sex that John had had with Heather? Even though I was developing a new openness sexually, Heather was so much younger, yet more experienced than I was.

One last thought I had before I drifted off to sleep was how much fun John and I had as we tried to "raise the bar" for Heather and Larry. I felt my lips forming a slight smile and fell asleep.

When I woke up the sun was filtering in through the curtains. I was initially disappointed to find that John wasn't beside me, then I thought about how our night ended, shook my head and got up.

I used the bathroom, got dressed and went downstairs. I put the coffee on and soon after, I started breakfast. John came down the stairs and came into the kitchen.

"Honey, I..." John started.

"Not now, John, let's eat first."

John just nodded and we ate a quiet breakfast; we didn't even make small talk.

As soon as everything was cleared away John tried to talk, but I cut him off again.

"Please, John," I said, "let me start. First, I want to say I'm sorry..."

"Jane, I..." he tried to interrupt.

"John, you'll get your chance, and I think I know some of what you're going to say, and yes, there's plenty of blame to go around, but I'm the one that started this."

I could see him starting to interrupt again, but I held up my hand.

"Yes, I had your permission, but we both know that permission isn't something you would have normally given. It was because of my ridiculous desire to try out another man.

"I... I'm still angry that you let it go so far, it played right into all of my insecurities about getting older. It probably made his seduction easier, even if I was the seducer as much as he was.

"I have a little more that I want to talk about, but I'll let you have your say now."

"Jane, thank you for being so open, I'll try to do the same. To begin with, what I told you about talking to Heather was true. She had been telling me about her troubles, and when you got moody I did talk to her to get a woman's perspective.

"That was my first mistake. Not talking to Heather, that was okay, but I should have pressed you harder to tell me what was wrong."