Trying To Get By Ch. 02

"Where is this place where we are? It is not where we were before?" Zhizah asked.

Rhisu shrugged, "I dunno where we are now, but the sky tells me that we're not where we were all born, that's for certain."

"The sky?" Zhizah asked, "What is wrong with the sky?"

"Even if you don't look up," Rhisu said quietly, "you only need to count the shadows that you see around you. There's only one of each because there's only one sun here, not the twin ones that we're used to seeing.

"The slavers let us go, her, me, and now you. They even gave me back my weapons before they led me to the door over there. I've never seen any of the sorts of folk that I'm looking at over there now. Like as not they've all come from different places - different worlds, even, for the way that they look to me. I only know that us three are from the same place, just different parts of it.

A thought like that makes me think that we ought to try to stick together, but that would need being able to let go of the war. I doubt that it's even a thought to you, Zhizah, but that girl over there and I, we hafte let it go. I can do that, but I don't think that she can."

"We have had ... some trouble with her people also," Zhizah said quietly, "They have attacked us before. We just withdraw and let the jungle protect it's children as it always has. How did you learn of us - my people, I mean?"

Rhisu smiled, "From school and the books there. I learned more when I went to the academy. They had a better library with many data files to read through.

Zhizah watched as a thought came to the blonde and she was fascinated at Rhisu's grinning smile so she knew that whatever it had been had been a pleasing one to her. It made Zhizah feel good.

"I actually saw your homeland a few times from the air but far away. I was flying close support on some fights that we took over the border. The troops on the ground didn't need our support those times, so when I had the chance - and the fuel, I'd climb high enough to look for it and in some places, the border of your lands was close enough to see over. I always thought it was a very beautiful place."

"Thank you," Zhizah smiled, "I have seen where you must come from in the same way - but without the flying. I learned when I could at the little school that we had. The computers were always old, but enough of them worked. The pictures that I saw ... "

Rhisu looked at Zhizah's features and thought that, with reason and the want of it, she could probably give the impression that she was made of some black stone of some kind. But at the moment, she appeared so happily animated that it was growing a little difficult not to smile along.

Zhizah sighed, "A first, I thought that it was a very ... inhospitable place, but when I looked more, I saw such powerful and majestic beauty there! Our legends say that it is the home of the gods."

She laughed a little, "It was a little like you are to me. We are almost near the same height, but you are much bigger ... you look so strong to me, and yet you seem as pure in your heart as what I was looking at in the files. I see enough in your eyes to know that you value truth above all, even if it is not what you would want to hear or see - or know of."

She looked down for a moment in thought, "I think ... I think that I see clearly when I look into your strange and beautiful eyes. To me, it is like the ability to see forever through the purest air in the world."

Rhisu chuckled, "Are you sure that you're not confusing 'clear' with 'cold'?"

Zhizah shook her head,"No. I am sure that there are some who would see your way of looking at things as only simple. What I think of is the word forthright. To see anything in those eyes must be as a gift to the one who is given the chance - whether it is joy, or hunger, or good feelings, anything.

"To see hate there must be truly terrifying. But that is not what I see there now."

"Thank you," Rhisu nodded, "Would it be impolite to ask what it is that you see at the moment?"

Zhizah smiled a little shyly, "It is my wish that I do not misinterpret what I have seen, but it is also the way of my kind - the priestesses of the place that I was taken from - to answer with truth, even if one does not wish to."

She shrugged and looked up, straight into Rhisu's eyes, "I see hope Rhisu, perhaps the first that you have felt in a long time."

Rhisu nodded, accepting the statement, but having no idea what to do with what had been said to her.

"I think you're right," she said finally.

She blinked for a moment as a thought went through her mind, "You're a priestess? I thought you must be something like that when I first saw you and the feeling has been getting stronger in me as we've been talking.

"Are you one of the ones who protect that land - when it needs a little help to keep it's children safe - as you said it?"

Zhizah nodded a little, "Yes, but I am here now. I do not think that I can find what I had there."

"Maybe not," Rhisu agreed, "but I think that you ought to keep an open mind. Maybe meditate a little later, see what's here for you to work with. I'm sure that this place has it's own spirits."

Zhizah smiled as she tilted her head, "You believe in our faith? I never would have thought such a thing could be, Rhisu."

The blonde shrugged, "I guess that I must - after a fashion. Listen, I've seen things that I can't put any explanation toward, lived through things which ought to have seen me dead and cold many times. I've flown aircraft that were all but shot out from under me, but I wasn't hit and I was able to nurse them back home and they landed for me like the day they were made.

Her eyes opened wider, "THEN they fell apart. One even burst into flame as soon as I was out of it. I don't think I have much of any faith for the gods that I was taught about when I was little anymore.

"But I know what I've been through and I'm still here. I read about how the ones that we were fighting would cross the border into your lands, wanting some of your resources, mostly water and oil, I think."

She smiled, "So that was you and the others? The enemy of your enemy is your friend?"

Zhizah nodded, smiling widely, "We wanted your forces to keep them entangled so that they might forget about us for a time. That meant that we had to put forth protection."

Rhisu blinked for a moment and then bowed her head, "I don't know how much of my life that I might owe to you, but I want you to know that I'm thankful for what was done, Zhizah."

Zhizah shook her head, "I did not see any of the ones that we wished to help. I cannot say that I helped you personally."

"Doesn't matter," Rhisu smiled, "You'd be standing here alone if you all hadn't done it. I can't say that for certain, my friend, but I know how I feel. I'm very glad to have met you today and I'm also very pleased that I carried my spare coat."

Zhizah smiled, "I am very thankful also. To you for helping me and to the mother of the land where I lived, for allowing that you were among those saved if it was so. I would be very cold now if it had not happened."

She looked at Rhisu, "If it is not too close to you, may I ask how long it has been since you lost the one you loved?"

"A year and a half now," Rhisu said, looking down in thought. "We met while I was on a tasking to provide air cover while he visited with some ground units near the front lines. I had to attend the briefing and he was there. We just sort of ... fell in together afterward.

"I doubt that the other side knew that he was there that day, but just after he got onto the ground, we had reports of activity nearby.

"I was in the air then, but I heard later that he wouldn't hear of leaving, not while his country's troops might be coming in for a fight."

She smiled, "Of course, that was never going to happen on my watch. I found a spotter on the ground not far away and we hooked up over the datanet. When I had what he was looking at and where, I told him to get his head down and keep it there unless I asked him for more information. I rolled us in hard and hot.

"We must have shocked their asses clean off for how we hit them so quick and hard. I think they might have only been probing a little and didn't think they'd ever get such a strong response."

Rhisu shrugged then, "It doesn't matter much now I guess, but I did my job and made it safe for the younger prince to leave."

Zhizah was in a little shock, "The younger ...

"You were married to the prince? I met him once before he was wed. He came to visit our temples. He was so handsome and intelligent. I showed him the temples and he asked me questions which showed me that he cared for the history and our culture."

She gasped, "I know you now! I saw you during your wedding! Even I have heard of you where I lived. I only did not recognise your name at first. Oh, I am so sorry for your loss."

Rhisu nodded, "Thank you. He flew out the day I was talking about and we were married a year later. By then, he'd made his own name in the war.

"He was just like that, completely fearless. He wasn't a Highlander, but many of my companions there considered him to be the closest thing. It can be very hard to earn our respect, but he sure did that. My regiment made him an honorary member and I remember how proud he was for it.

"He knew that his older brother would rule one day and so he could just be who he wanted to be, I guess.

"We were never supposed to marry, you know. I've some noble blood and it was good enough, I have to guess - as far as the letter of the law went, anyway. But his family never forgave him for marrying me and I was on the shit list from the moment that he brought me there.

Rhisu's expression became a little distant and her tone grew quieter, "He was at home, in the part of the castle where we lived. We'd been trying to arrange for some time together, which can be difficult, to say the least. I was on my way there on leave from my unit.

"The castle is near the town of Dumeyan. Everyone thought it was far enough from the war, but the Lowlanders took the fight there one night in a raid. He died defending his family, though he was outside the walls when they got to him. He was pushing the raiders back, but he ran out of troops and ammunition. His weapon was dry - empty when I picked it up.

"After he died defending the town where he was born and where the royal castle is, they didn't put on any of the hundred people who could have given the press a proper statement. They wanted a family member to speak to the news people about it and his family told me to do it."

She looked off at the vessel which had brought them here as it began to power up to leave, "They didn't want to show any cracks in their armour - so they ordered his widow to say something his mother and father couldn't say without showing their own tears."

She looked down again, seeming to shrink just a little, "I could barely stand up in front of the cameras. Just breathing was hard to do. I felt like I'd been shot in the chest. Everyone was so upset over the valiant death of a prince, but nobody - not one person there - gave a single thought to how his widow might be feeling.

"I was just a soldier after all, right? Not one member of his family even spoke to me, not even the staff."

She began to speak through her teeth slowly, "When they did speak, they didn't talk to me as though my husband had just been killed. They spoke to me like the soldier that I was to them.

"They gave me an order."

She shook her head slowly, "I did what I was ordered to do and then I waited for my brothers and sisters in arms. They weren't from my regiment, but that doesn't matter to us. I knew that they'd come. They had to."

She looked down and sobbed for some time. Zhizah didn't know what to do. She had nothing to offer but her embrace.

"The only ones who came to me were other Highlanders as it must be. They came to me to kneel before me in silence and to lay a gloved hand on my shoulder as they walked away. It's a very old tradition among us."

"When they were done, I walked away without a word to anyone. Where I come from, your personal views don't matter. You do the job and move on.

"I held myself together somehow and after that, I moved on.

"I guess this part of it never made the news, but after giving them their statement, I just left everything behind. His mother is probably still angry over the way that I didn't vacate my rooms properly. I never moved out.

"I put on this armour, picked up this rifle, met two of my brothers from that company and boarded one of our ships . I didn't want to inconvenience his family any longer. They took me away and dropped me close to the border on the side away from the place we were at war with.

"I walked away from my life, since it wasn't worth very much even if you're the widow of a prince. I was someone who had gone to all the right schools and academies to be groomed all of my life in the family way to serve.

"Well I served.

"And after seeing just how little my years of service were worth to them, I traveled to the other side of the country - where there was no war.

"I crossed the border the same way that I left the royal estate and started looking for work as a mercenary as soon as I stepped off. I found some work in a day but one evening I was caught and caged by those bastards over there.

"Now I'm here."

Zhizah stood with her horror written all over her face.

"Forgive me please, "she whispered as she reached for Rhisu's hands, "I did not know that it was you or I would never have said anything. Where I am from, I see the news only one time in a week. Please try to forgive me."

Rhisu was crying a bit, since she couldn't help it for some reason. She thought that she'd cried it all out of her many times over by now, but here it was again.

Zhizah reached for her and held on as Rhisu stood with her head bent.

"There's nothing to forgive," she whispered with a sniffle, "You - you didn't do or say anything wrong. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm over it.

"I thought I was over it."

"I am sorry anyway," Zhizah whispered. "It was a selfish thing for me to ask and it has made you sad once more. I have never had ..."

"What?" Rhisu asked.

"Please," Zhizah begged a little, "I do not want this to be worse now.

"I found someone here where I am so lost and alone. She is a beautiful, strong girl and without thinking, or knowing, I have opened something which was none of my affair, but I have hurt her with my foolish words."

Rhisu raised her head and as it came up, Zhizah saw the wet lines of the tears and wanted to weep herself.

"I became an acolyte when I was seven," she said." I was a full priestess when I was seventeen, the youngest ever to have reached that level. Priestesses are not allowed to know a male - to - to mate with a male. If we find love at all, it is with another girl.

"I was confused in what I felt from you. You said that you lost your male, but I did not feel any want in you to find another, so I -

"I just thought that ... "

Rhisu placed her palm over Zhizah's breastbone over the coat to say what she had in her mind.

In that instant, Zhizah's eyes fell closed for a moment and she knew that she'd found someone who would probably be very important to her for a long time.

"Stop, Zhizah."Rhisu whispered, "Please stop. There'll be two of us weeping in less than a minute if you don't.

She pulled Zhizah close, still whispering,"Look, I'm over it. I just don't know what brought it up so hard today."

She wiped her tears away with her hand, "I've gotten used to it. I think a part of me died that day, but it wasn't my whole heart, alright? The obedient soldier just decided that she'd had enough, that's all."

She let go of Zhizah as she shrugged and tried to smile, hoping like hell that it didn't look too sad or comical, "And you're right - at least partially, I think. I don't sit around moping or wondering if somebody will come into my life one day.

"I make no bones about what I am. Sometimes I'm a pilot and other times, I'm just a hired gun.

"Who in their right mind wants to get close enough to even know somebody like me?

"Who can I ever let close enough to trust them?

"I guess maybe some of that's changed, since we're here now, but I'm really coming to like you a lot, Zhizah. So please stop feeling guilty over nothing that you knew about, ok? I need and want a friend now, so that's a huge change for me right there. I'm always alone and I pretty much never mind it. With you here and us talking like this, I'm coming to want this very much."

She smiled as she wiped her eyes with her hand again, "I think that you're good for me to be around."

Zhizah smiled back as she took a step closer, which placed her inside whatever comfort zone Rhisu might have had.

The blonde didn't flinch. She put her arm around Zhizah and very carefully pulled her even closer.

"You are not completely right, even so," Zhizah said, looking up, "There IS someone who wants to get close. There is now someone who wishes to be trusted. It is what I wanted from the moment that I saw you."

She chuckled, "Though I can wait a little for that to happen and I can understand why now. I will never speak of your troubles again. I hope that I have found one who can be my friend where we go - if we go - or whatever is supposed to happen here.

"I want to go with you. You make me smile only to look at you. I hear the way that your voice dances when you speak."

She leaned to the side a little to look along Rhisu for a moment and then she straightened up with a bright smile, "And I love to look at your body so much!"

They laughed at themselves for a moment and then Zhizah spoke again.

"I thought of my people's legends and I have decided that if you are not a goddess, then you are at least a little close to being one - such as a minor relation or something. So, while it proved something to me that I did not wish to see and know of, I know now that a goddess can cry."

"But - but I'm not a goddess, Zhizah," Rhisu objected quietly.

"You come from the home of the gods," Zhizah said flatly, "You wish to believe that your life was helped by some priestesses. I was one of them. Every time that it was done, I was there among the rest. I did not know you, but I tried as much as I was able each time."

She smiled as her expression changed to a slightly challenging one, "I believe what I wish to believe. If you are not a goddess, how is it that you have the body of one?"

Rhisu looked astonished because ... well because she was astonished.

"I have the body of a goddess?"

Zhizah nodded, "You do. You shine like the suns to my eyes."

"There's only one sun here," Rhisu said, "I told you."

Zhizah let out an annoyed-sounding hiss and then pretended that nothing had been said. She pointed to the side of her own head, "Everyone has a physical ideal in their minds if they ever think of it, what true beauty, grace, and strength look like in the embodiment of the perfect person. I am no different than any other.

"But my ideal was shattered when I saw you from the place where they released me. When I came to ask you for help, I was much closer by then, right over there. I was freezing, but I stood with my mouth open as I looked at you. I have never felt such ... such awe to see a single person.

"As I came slowly nearer, your size and strength became even more apparent, but when you turned around, I saw the same ease of movement, the same grace as the finest dancer possesses and shows without thought.

"This will sound stupid - to even myself now, but Rhisu, I was so cold! I could barely breathe yet I saw you here breathing easily with no effort, only clouds of steam when you let it out. I am standing here with your fine, heavy, and most of all, your very WARM coat on, feeling better because of you - though I feel like a small child who wanders in a large house.