by SluttyWife00
I found the "rushing" aspect to increase the heat and intensity of the moment.
Nicely done. Look forward to more of your wordsmithing in the near future.
It's an interesting premise, and a nice twist on the usual formula, but I felt like you rushed through it. Slow it down a little, and include more details about what the characters are seeing and feeling as the action happens, and it would make a better story.