Turning the Tables

As soon as he left the meeting, he phoned Joanna and told her not to start dinner until after he was home. When he walked through the door, he saw that she had done as he had asked. He swept her up off the couch and gave her a kiss.

"Go upstairs and shower," he said. "I'm taking you out to dinner."

"But the kids," she said.

"I already called your mother," he explained. "She'll be here at 6:30. I'm heading to the kitchen to cook them dinner. Now, do as I say. Oh, and wear something nice."

She looked at him strangely and attempted to ask another question, but he cut her off and pointed to the stairs. With a stunning smile, she kissed him and hurried up the stairs.

At dinner, he ordered a bottle of wine before Joanna even had an opportunity to look at the menu. Not only did he order his meal, but he ordered on her behalf as well.

"What makes you think you know what I want for dinner?" she asked with a sly grin.

"I know exactly what you want," he said, raising his eyebrow at her and causing her to giggle.

"You've been so...different lately. What's gotten into you?"

"I'm not sure, exactly," he said. "I feel like I'm seeing clearly for the first time in my life. Like I've had blurry vision my entire life, and I've just been fitted with new eyeglasses. I guess that's the best way to explain it."

"Seeing clearly," she repeated, taking another sip of wine. He refilled her glass when she set it down. "What does that mean? Seeing clearly about what?"

"Everything," he said. "My life, my job, my marriage. Everything."

"Your marriage?"

"Yes," he said. "It's like I've had blinders on for fifteen years, and someone yanked them away, allowing me to see everything I've missed. All these years, I've been doing it wrong."

"Doing what wrong? You've been a terrific husband."

"Yes," he said, "I have. And I'm very glad that you recognize that. I provide you with everything you need - and then some. I do everything I can to ensure that every one of your needs is met. Don't I?"

She nodded, a bit apprehensively.

"And as my wife, you provide me with everything I need...with one exception."

She cocked her head for a moment, appearing confused, before there was a flicker of recognition in her eyes. "Oh, god," she said. "Is this about sex?"

"You know what it's about," he said, calmly sipping his wine. "It has occurred to me that there is very little difference between denying sex and having an affair. Part of our marriage agreement is that we have an exclusive sexual relationship and that we meet each other's needs in the bedroom. Whether you're having an affair or not, you've refused to meet my needs in that regard. You're cheating me out of that part of our marriage."

"I'm not cheating!" she said, a little too loudly. "I would never have an affair."

"I know that," he calmly responded, "and I'm not suggesting that you have been unfaithful in any way. I'm simply explaining to you that the game has changed. I'm no longer going to reward bad behavior. I will provide for you as well as you provide for me. That is how a marriage is supposed to work. I'm no longer going to tolerate rejection night after night. When I need to have you, I'll take you. Simple as that. Of course, you can choose to say no, but with every choice there are consequences."

She looked at him, stunned. "I...I don't know what to say. What consequences are you talking about?"

"It's simple, honey," he said. "I love you with all my heart, and I have spent the majority of my adult life trying to please you in every way. I expect some reciprocation in that regard. If there were anything - anything - you needed, I would do everything I could to provide it. You know that. All I ask for is the same courtesy. We are going to have an equal partnership from here on out. If you can't give me what I need, then...well, let's hope it never comes to that."

"I...I don't...who are you? What have you done with my husband?"

"I guess you can say I've upgraded," he said with a smile. He emptied his glass just as their meals arrived. "Oh, by the way," he added, raising his glass, "speaking of upgrades, I got a promotion and a huge pay raise today."

***

It took a little bit of detective work for Joanna to track him down. She had to figure out the password for their online banking account, and scrolled through hundreds of transactions before she found what she was looking for. More than two weeks passed before she was able to get an appointment. When she opened the door to Dr. Swanson's office, he greeted her warmly and invited her to sit in one of the comfortable-looking chairs in the center of the room.

"So, what brings you here, Mrs. Gibbons?" the doctor asked.

"I'm actually here to talk about my husband," she said. "He was a patient of yours about six weeks ago."

"Oh," he said. His warm smile suddenly faded. "Mrs. Gibbons, you know I'm not allowed to discuss another patient's history - even if it is your husband."

"Yes, I understand that," she said. "I just want to know what you did to him. Did you give him drugs?"

"Again, Mrs. Gibbons, I cannot discuss a patient's history or treatment. I can assure you, however, that my policy is to administer drugs only as a last resort."

Joanna studied the doctor's expression for a moment, contemplating her next move. "It's just that, before he came to see you, Peter was a much different person. He was gentle and easy-going. He used to be much more helpful around the house. He did practically everything. And he never demanded anything from anyone. He just sort of rolled with the punches."

"And now?" Dr. Swanson asked, his pen suddenly poised over his notepad.

"He's different," she responded. "He still helps with household chores, but there is an underlying expectation that it's my work to do, and he will merely help me out from time to time as a favor. He's very assertive. He no longer asks, 'what do you want to do tonight?' or 'what's for dinner?' He tells me what he wants. It's like he's the Captain, and I'm the First Mate. And...in the bedroom...he's a completely different person. He just takes what he wants when he wants it."

"And how does that make you feel?" the doctor asked.

"Well, that's the strange thing," she said. "For some strange reason, I don't mind it. I should be angry about it, but actually, I kind of prefer the new Peter. I find myself doing things just to please him, and I can't really explain why. I guess that's why I'm here, doctor. I need an explanation."

"Well, Mrs. Gibbons, I can't speak specifically about your husband, but I can speak in generalities. It seems that Peter's newfound confidence has had some unexpected side effects. I'm actually fascinated to hear this, because it touches upon an area of psychology called 'behavioral epigenetics.'"

Joanna looked at him strangely.

"It's a rather complicated theory," he continued, "but I'll try to explain it in layman's terms. I assume you're familiar with the phenomenon of salmon swimming upstream at the end of their lifespan to hatch their eggs. Or perhaps you're familiar with the behavior of newborn sea turtles who emerge from their shells and instinctively bolt toward the sea. Or..."

"Yes, doctor," she interrupted. "I'm familiar with those things."

"Okay, good," he continued. "My point is that certain animals seem to be born with certain traits that are not physical, but behavioral, in nature. We call these 'instincts.' Scientists have spent centuries attempting to explain how and why instinctual behavior exists. How can a newborn animal possibly know how to behave without having learned it? It seems impossible...and yet, they do."

He paused for a moment. "I'm sorry," she said, "but what does this all have to do with my husband?"

"Actually," he said, "it has to do with you. You see, Mrs. Gibbons, human beings are a species of animal, and we are all born with the same type of behavioral instincts that have been passed along through our DNA, from generation to generation, for tens of thousands of years. At this very moment, you share DNA - some physical and some behavioral - with your long-deceased ancestors who lived in caves one hundred thousand years ago."

Joanna crossed her arms. "Okay," she said, "but I still don't see where you're going with this."

"In prehistoric times, a woman's genes were far less likely to be passed along to her offspring if she copulated with a male who was unable to protect her and her children. I imagine competition was quite fierce back then among the males in a tribe. They also faced threats outside the tribe, from neighboring tribes, wild animals, Mother Nature, and whatnot.

"Prehistoric women who mated with strong, 'Alpha' type of men were able to pass along their behavioral DNA to the next generation...which passed its DNA to the next...and to the next...and so on. For a hundred thousand years. Of course, these days, there aren't nearly as many physical threats to a woman and her children as there were in prehistoric times, so these Alpha traits aren't nearly as important anymore.

"In fact, it benefits modern women more to mate with a so-called 'Beta' male who excels in the more traditional female traits: compassion, emotional support, caring for children, and keeping a home, for example. The problem for modern women, however, is that you still carry this ancient behavioral attraction to Alpha males in your DNA, and that can have a negative effect on your relationships."

"Doctor," Joanna said, "this may be the most ridiculous theory I've ever heard. No offense."

Dr. Swanson laughed. "I completely understand why you feel that way, Mrs. Gibbons. It is a controversial area of behavioral science, and there are plenty of scientists and doctors who share your opinion. However, the theory does have an uncanny way of explaining female behavior, doesn't it?"

"How so?"

"Well, you can't deny that many women are attracted to 'bad boys' who they know are poor relationship material, and yet they can't fight their attraction to them. Women are generally attracted to men that display Alpha-like qualities: tall, muscular, athletic, tough, dominant. As a relationship or marriage progresses, men tend to become less Alpha and more Beta. Women become less attracted, and their sexual desire for their husbands slowly wanes as the years pass. Most women can't explain why this happens. Many feel guilty about it. They cannot explain it because the explanation is deeply rooted in their DNA."

"It's an interesting theory, doctor," she responded, "but it seems awfully pessimistic. I mean...if what you say is true, all marriages are doomed."

"They aren't doomed, Mrs. Gibbons; they simply require effort on the part of both husband and wife. It is a challenge for many husbands to find that perfect balance between Alpha and Beta, especially in this day and age. It wasn't too long ago that a husband acting as the head of the household - or the 'Captain', as you put it - was the accepted norm. Then the feminist movement came along, and...well, muddied the waters, I guess you could say."

Dr. Swanson glanced at the clock on the wall. "I'm afraid we're at the end of our session, Mrs. Gibbons. I hope I was able to answer your questions in a satisfactory way."

"Yes," she said, "thank you, doctor. It has been an interesting discussion."

***

She returned home to find Peter lying on the couch, watching television. She joined him on the other end of the couch and placed his feet on her lap. She removed his socks and massaged his feet. He turned to her and smiled. It didn't matter whether her newfound affection and appreciation for him was caused by some ancient DNA passed along through countless generations, or whether there were some other, perhaps more rational, cause. All that mattered was that she loved him deeply, and wanted nothing more than to ensure his happiness. That, and she really, really, wanted to fuck his brains out.

***

Author's note:

One of my favorite writing exercises is to mash together two movies, TV shows, or books, and this is another example of that type of exercise. In this story, I merged a movie (which is probably easy for many readers to identify) and a book. Because that book is probably not as well-known, I would be remiss if I didn't give credit where it is due.

The book is titled, The Married Man Sex Life Primer, 2011, by Athol Kay. Although I found much of the book implausible, it's still an entertaining read, and there is an element of truth to the author's underlying theories on women, marriage, and sexual relationships. The techniques the author describes to revive a sexual relationship have some practical merit, and do work to some extent. (At least in my experience. Your mileage may vary.)

As with all of my Loving Wives stories, I have turned off the ratings as a one-man protest against the pointlessness of ratings in this category. I look forward, however, to reading the comments.