by regularguy13
A very nice start - I will be interested to see where this goes...all sorts of possibilities! Looking forward to the next!
I don't have a clue where this one is going but I think it will be fun.
Your grammar is so horrible that I found this story impossible to read. You seem especially partial to the period when the comma would be the correct punctuation to use. Please find a proof-reader and I'll take another look.
While not perfect in grammar and punctuation, you did a much better job than most contributors to this or other sites. Natureboy76's comments were far too severe. I become distracted by errors and it detracts from my ability to concentrate on the story and enjoy it. If you enjoy writing, you should care about it. The job you have done shows you do care about writing, so you might consider having someone persnickity editor review your material to find the relatively few errors you let slip through.
Many story lines here and to enjoy the read.
Is such a pity that these holy than thou Dr's of english and grammer are soooo judgemental of others, just wish they would just put down the silver pen when writing a comment.
I make a habit not to read works of such silver pen commentors.
Thank You, I so enjoyed your work
The story or the comments posted underneath it.
id rather watch two chickens doing it than read this pile of poo its the worst story ive ever read
This is a fantastic series and hey asshole don't read it then bitch we are not children. I do prefer longer stories but multiple chapters makes up for it. Thanks
Brilliant - loved the story and the natural progression of characters and sexual awakening. keep writing for God's sake...more please!!
something about this is keeping me intrigued, at first I found the medical issues a turn off but I kept starting it over and am sticking with it now because the author has me hooked,
some really good writing here