All Comments on 'Twins: Sports, Sex & Trouble Ch. 12'

Great stories...!

You probably need to do a better job of proofreading your chapters. Quite a few times, throughout this chapter, you got Joan and Jane mixed up (as an example, take a look at the last full paragraph where Ed is making a statement to his children about how their mother might have reacted).

I really enjoyed reading this. It got a bit dark in the middle with Evan, but the rest more than made up for that.

You built up the tension really well and when you got to the nitty gritty it was amazing!

The 'twist'at the end with Ed and Joan was inspired - as was the bombshell that Ed and Elizabeth were siblings.

Overall, that was one of the most enjoyable stories I have read on here.

Thanks !

I liked your story.The characterisation and sub plots were well thought out. I did not comment on the other chapters because I wanted to read the entire tale. The only suggestion I have is that you get a good editor or proofreader, for there was an abundance of misspelled words. Nothing severe enough to harm the story, but they can be a little distracting. Remember that spell check does not eliminate words that are spelled right, but are the wrong tense or completely wrong words. Good imagination, or is this a true story? I guess we will never know.