Two Moms, Two Laps: Old Wounds

I was stunned. I'd really thought things were going well. Damn it.

She stomped off without an answer, practically running down the stairs. I heard her bellowing for Colin and I was almost back on the first floor when she started interrogating him.

"Everything you did!" she snapped at him. "So help me, if you lie, you'll regret it."

Colin was pulling up his pants, and he had a tired dazed look. From his appearance he'd been napping. Maybe Mom wore him out. I started to get nervous. How did she wear him out?

Colin had his pants on, and was seated on the couch, turning his socks right-side out. "You know, Mom. Just some kissing and touching. Like we do," he whined.

"Why were your pants off!" Aunt Marie growled, standing not two feet in front of him.

"Marie..." Mom started, but my Aunt cut her off.

"Not a word, Alice. This is MY son. Mine!" She turned to Colin. "Well?"

"They were uncomfortable," he said.

"Did she touch you there?" Marie asked, her voice turning scary.

He blushed, and fumbled with his shoe laces.

"DAMN IT! DID SHE TOUCH YOU!" Aunt Marie screamed.

He nodded, eyes turned downward, his hands clutching his sneaker.

Mom tried to calm her. "Don't Marie. You're upsetting him. We can talk about this."

Aunt Marie glared at Mom. "Sure. Like we talk about everything else. You promised no more than in the car." She turned to Colin, grabbed his chin and pulled his head up. "Look at me when I'm talking to you," she snapped. "How did she touch you?"

"W...with her hand," he whined.

"And...?"

He was practically shaking. "With her mouth."

I wasn't ready for it when Aunt Marie turned and slapped Mom across the face, hard. "You disgust me, Alice. All these lies. These tricks." She looked over at me, while Mom stood in shock, holding her cheek. "You too, Jeremy. What's happened to you? You were always such a good, open honest boy. Now it's nothing but lies, tricks and deceit. Both of you!"

Mom was looking angry. "I didn't do anything you didn't do, Marie."

"No? You lied to me! Yes, I blew Jeremy, but I wasn't planning on it. Hell, you know I don't even like to do that. I teased him too far, and let him finish in my mouth, so we wouldn't make a mess and get caught. Right afterwards I told you. I confessed because I'd never keep something like that from you. I knew it was over the line, and I told you."

She turned to Colin who was just sitting there watching. "Finish getting dressed, Colin. We're going home."

I went to her, reaching out, but she pushed me away. "Don't Jeremy. I'm tired of this bullshit. I tried, Lord knows I tried. But all these games you two are playing, all these lies upon lies. It's not worth it."

"Lies? All I want is for everyone to be happy?" I said.

"Bullshit! What, you get a little pussy off your mother, and then nobody else matters? You lie to me, lie to your father, to your mother, to Colin? I'm sure you're lying to your little slut girlfriend. What happened to you?"

I was shocked by her words.

"What lies, Marie? We're not lying to you or anybody," Mom argued.

"Still lying, you mean, don't you? Let's start with our trip, and our discussion afterward. We were only going to do what we did in the car, right?"

Mom nodded.

"So how come I can't fuck him if you can? Answer me that, Alice!"

"We...we didn't..."

"GOD DAMN IT! Stop the fucking lies, Alice. You don't think I know when my sister gets fucked by only the second man in her life? How long were we out the door before you were upstairs doing it again? Ten minutes?"

"It...it wasn't like that. It was an accident. I told him it couldn't happen again," Mom said.

"You lied to me. I know you didn't tell Harold, did you? So you're lying to him. You kept doing it, so you're still lying to all of us. When are the lies going to stop?"

"We're not doing it," I told my Aunt. "Dad and I talked it out, and he set the rules, and I swear we're following them." I looked over at Mom, still unable to believe she'd blown Colin. "Or we were. At least I was."

"You talked it out? You told him what you did with your mother? Everything?"

I shook my head. I was still ashamed of that.

"This game of yours, playing your mother and me against each other. How could you?" Aunt Marie asked.

"It was for us! I swear, all I want is for everyone to be happier. No more of this anger and competition between you two."

"Did you ever think of just trying honesty for once? When the hell did you become such a manipulative lying bastard. The both of you." She turned back to Mom. "And you! It was only a few hours ago you swore you were only going to tease him. Play a little. No more. You promised me!"

"I didn't mean to, it just happened," Mom said softly. "You were up there doing God knows what with my boy."

"I never lied to you. Not once. If I pushed a limit, I told you. I followed your damn rules, even though I was so tempted to break them. I did it for us, for the family." Aunt Marie, sighed, then reached out her hand to Colin. "Let's go. I don't want you around these people."

"Marie! Please, we need to work this out," Mom said.

"I'm done working it out. I don't like what you two have become. I don't like it at all."

I figured it wasn't the time to try to discuss things calmly, she needed space. Besides, she'd given me a lot to think about. She was right about a lot of things. We weren't being as honest as we should be, and even though I did believe that the little tricks I'd been playing were in everyone's best interest, it was still deceitful. All I had to do was think about how my father would feel about it, and I knew that I was in the wrong.

"Marie..." Mom pleaded, walking after them.

I put my arm around her. "Not now, Mom. She's right about a lot of it. Let's give her some time, and we need to talk."

* * *

We did talk. She cried, and I was damn near close to it several times. Things were getting worse, not better. I was furious with her for breaking Dad's rules with Colin. She was angry with me for pressing the whole Marie issue, until it blew up. We both decided no more lies.

Dinner was an awkward affair. Mom made Dad's favorite, New York Strip. I grilled the beef, while she prepared homemade mashed potatoes, fresh green beans with chunks of thick cut bacon, and scratch made biscuits.

Dad didn't seem to notice how we were trying too hard to keep things light. He was actually grinning when I told him to come sit in the living room, maneuvering him to the couch. I got him an after dinner drink.

"Don't tell me you have another video? I'm not sure my heart could take it," he laughed.

"No Dad. We need to talk."

A saw a dark look pass over his face. "You didn't bend the rules today, did you? I can trust you two alone, can't I?"

"It's bigger than that. We haven't been truthful about everything, and while I was trying to get things worked out with Aunt Marie, I did some things wrong, and it's all blown up," I confessed.

"How bad is it?" he asked.

"Bad."

He looked at Mom, and she lowered her head, nodding slowly. "I'm sorry."

"I'm waiting," he said, the steel in his voice a clear warning.

"To start with, we weren't completely honest about the Jeep ride. We did more than we told you. Please don't blame, Mom. It was me. I...I couldn't help myself. I got carried away. I'm ashamed and I'm sorry."

He got up, from where he'd been sitting between us. He turned and faced Mom. "Anything to say, Alice?"

"I...I had sex with him, Harold. I don't even know how it happened, but I did. I'm sorry."

He turned away from us and started toward the stairs. "Harold..." Mom called out.

"Stay there. Don't say a word, Alice," he growled.

He returned in less than a minute. "You two had sex in the Jeep? Not three feet from me?"

We both nodded. He pulled a bag from behind his back, and threw it at Mom. She practically jumped off the couch, gasping.

"No shit," he snapped.

I looked at the bag, and realized it was a large storage baggie, with her shorts from the trip inside.

"Oh, God, Harold. I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"You stink of sex, you can't wait to get in the shower when we get home, and you don't even do a decent job of cleaning yourself. You don't think I can tell when you've been fucking, Alice? Twenty years, and you think I'm not going to notice?"

"You...why didn't you say something?"

"I did. I asked you to tell me what you did. With both of them. At first I wondered if that was why you made me move Colin to the back. Maybe it was him. Then the way you behaved, what you told me about you and Jeremy, I knew. I knew and I waited for you to tell me. I waited, and waited."

"It was a mistake," she said softly. "We didn't want to hurt you."

"So that was it? One time in the car? Or have you kept hanging the horns on me, with my own son, no less?"

Mom was holding that bag, tears rolling down her face. She shook her head.

"Twice more," I said. "Once the next afternoon, and once more almost by accident when we were lying in bed together talking."

Dad looked more disappointed than angry. "Why would you two do that to me? Haven't I been a good husband, a good father? Did I do something wrong?"

Mom spoke up first, tossing the shorts to the side as if they were on fire. "No, Harold. You're the best. The best husband a woman could ask for. A terrific father. It's...it's complicated."

He turned to me. "I can almost understand you. A virgin, hormones raging, and we put you in that position, first with your aunt, and then with your mother. Half naked beautiful women on your lap. But afterward? Couldn't you have just come out and told me? You give me half the story, but won't come clean? I knew you were trying to make it up to me, I understood, but with those lies between us, how could you?"

"I was afraid. Not for me, but for Mom. I wanted to. I even came close a couple of times. I felt so guilty, and so ashamed. It was the worst thing I ever did in my life."

"I need to hear it. All of it. What's been going on this last week? How many other lies have there been? Where do we stand now?" Dad asked. His matter of fact quietness was scarier than if he'd started yelling.

He wouldn't sit, and I tried to tell him everything, holding nothing back, with Mom interjecting and taking over on occasion. I told him about in the Jeep. The next day, waking Mom, after she'd said no more. Doing it again. The blowjob. More sex. The following day, taking care of her in bed, massaging her. Everything I did with Aunt Marie. The afternoon with Penny, and Mom's getting involved. I explained that Mom had behaved, mostly encouraging Penny, during that first time with Penny, when we were learning about each other.

I reminded him of us watching the Penny blowjob video. Watching them. Listening to them in bed that night. His calling out, "That one was for you, Jeremy." Dad actually blushed a little at that. At least I think the red face was blushing. I could have been wrong.

Mom interrupted now and then, to tell what she was thinking. What was going on in her mind. She confessed to the wild excitement of being with us. Fantasizing about being available to both of us.

"Nobody else, ever, Harold. There was no one else, and there never will be. It's...different. God, he's so much like you, don't you understand? Like when we were starting, all over again. Your mannerisms, the way you walk, God help me, even the way he holds me. It's you all over again. I'm helpless against it. Then you started making me blow you in front of him. You saw what that did to me. He only had to touch me once, and I was coming for both of you."

He nodded. "Go on."

I told him about the following morning. The last time we had sex. How it wasn't supposed to happen, but we started rehashing what he and Mom had done the night before. The Penny role-playing, but with me in his role, and Mom acting like Penny again, until we were acting out the same scenario.

"I swear, Dad, we didn't mean to that time, we got caught up in it. So damn hot, listening to Mom tell me about you fantasizing about playing the part of me with her, and then pretending she was Penny, and you were taking her for the first time. I didn't even think about what we were doing, until we were almost done. I'm really sorry about that. The first times, were bad, behind your back, but that one, you trusted us to behave, and it got out of hand. I wanted to tell you, but there were too many lies already."

"Lies are like that. It only takes one to get the ball rolling, then it picks up momentum, taking on a life of its own. One lie begets the next, and the next. You get to the point where you can't remember what's true and what isn't. What lies you've told. I thought I taught you better than that," he said, his voice filled with disappointment.

"You did. This isn't your fault. You were honest with me every step of the way. I screwed up. I won't do it again. I couldn't take it anymore, that's why we had to have this talk," I said.

"Is that all of it?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Aunt Marie. I wanted to make things right with the family, but I went about it all wrong. You saw the movie she made for you. She made another one for Mom, begging forgiveness for her past, and asking to be a closer part of the family."

"Closer? How much closer?" he asked.

"You know. You saw her video. Intimately close. She'd like to be freely available to you. To both of us. I wanted it to happen. She came over today to start the healing, but it went poorly. Mom wasn't as forgiving as I hoped, and I..." It was hard to face what I had done. I took a deep breath, looking at both of them.

"I pretended to be really mad at Aunt Marie, and to want to cut her out of our lives, for Mom's sake. To stop the constant bickering and jealousness. I think I went too far."

Mom looked at me in surprise. "That was all pretend? Getting angry with her? Hitting Colin?"

I nodded. "I wanted you to take her side, Mom. Better the two of you against me than at each other's throats. I purposely didn't do anything with Aunt Marie, to keep you pushing us together, working with her, instead of against her. Marie didn't believe that's what I was trying to do. That's why she blew up. At least partially. You want to tell Dad about Colin?"

Mom turned red. Her knees were pressed together tightly, hands clutching at each other. "I gave him a blowjob, Harold."

That seemed to surprise and upset him. "Christ, Alice! Are you going to tell me he's just like me too? Or are you just becoming a big slut? Who else are you having sex with?"

"Nobody, Harold! I swear. It was only a blowjob for Colin. I...Marie was upstairs with Jeremy, and I was getting upset I guess, at what they were doing together. I did it because of her."

"This thing between you and your sister has to stop!" Dad snapped. "Giving the kid blowjobs because you're mad at Marie? So what next? You girls fight and you fuck him?"

"No, Harold! Of course not! I'd never do that. It wasn't supposed to go that far. I don't even know why I did it, other than I wanted to get back at her, and that silly crush he has on me. I'm so sorry."

"What's the boy supposed to think now, Alice? He's going to expect blowjobs from his aunt whenever you guys are together. Damn it! You know how he feels about you! How could you? Isn't our son enough? You going to go after Jenny's boy when he's of age? Or will you even wait?"

He was getting to her. Mom was really upset. "Please, Harold. It was a mistake. Of course I'm not going to do anything with Andrew. There're just so many things happening. I'm confused. Help me, Harold. Don't get mad. I need you now. I...I don't want any of this. I only need you."

"Twenty years, Alice. Twenty. Now this? First Jeremy, then that business with Penny, and now Colin? Colin of all people? What the hell is happening to you?"

Mom was crying. "I don't know, baby. I don't. I can't seem to help myself. My emotions are all over the place. Things between you and me have never been better, everything just seemed so wonderful. I don't know how I got here."

Dad stood over her, glaring. "It has to stop now, Alice. All of it. This has gotten out of control. No more, you understand? I won't take any more of this crap from you." I could see him getting upset. "Twenty years, you were the best wife a man could have. I was so proud to be with you. So damn proud. I don't understand what's happened to us, that you would think this was acceptable."

She leaned forward her arms clutching him around his thighs, clinging desperately. "I know it's not. I'm praying you'll forgive me, and help me through this all. You know how much I love you. You have to."

His hand reached down and caressed her head. "I know. That's what makes it so difficult." He grabbed her chin and tilted her head up until she was looking up at him, sorrowfully. "It stops now. All of it."

She nodded, then looked over at me. "Everything?" she asked softly.

"For now. Until we get everything under control. Nothing with Colin or Jeremy that you wouldn't be willing to do out in public. You understand me? No slip ups, no 'accidents'."

She nodded.

Dad looked at me. "Same goes for you. No more. Not with your mother, not with your aunt. Your relationship with Penny is your own business, but leave her mother out of it. That's inappropriate, unless her husband is on board. I doubt he is."

I agreed to his terms.

"You need to be the strong one, Jeremy. Don't let your mother slip-up. I hope I can count on you better than I have in the last week. Please don't disappoint me again."

"I won't Dad. I am sorry." I did have some concerns. "What about Aunt Marie? She's kind of in limbo now, and pretty pissed off at Mom and me."

"Leave her alone for now. I need to talk with her anyway."

Mom was still hanging onto him, like she was scared to death to let go. He peeled her arms away. "It's been a rough day. I'm going to go to bed now." He stepped back and looked down at Mom, his anger still visible, just under the surface. "Alice, I'd prefer if you slept in the guest bedroom tonight."

"No, Harold! I need to be with you. Show you how sorry I am. We need to be together," she pleaded.

"For now. I...I need to get my feelings under control. It wouldn't be pleasant if you were around me tonight. I don't want to say things I'll later regret. I need some time to deal with this. Don't push it."

The tears were running again. "Alright," she told him. "I'll hate it."

Dad nodded. "Me too. I hate all of it. I'm disgusted." He turned away, and walked upstairs. I moved over on the couch and put my arm around Mom. She tensed up for a second then settled in against me.

"It'll be Ok, Mom. It was a shock to him, I'm sure. But we needed to get it out in the open. We'll give Dad and Aunt Marie some time. They both love you. We'll be better for it, in the end."

"I don't know, Jeremy. This is pretty bad. I feel like we betrayed him."

"We did. Not out of spite, or meanness, but we did nonetheless. I'm sorry I pushed you so hard."

She shook her head. "I let you. I wanted it. I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it."

I was pretty sure Dad would get over it. Let's face it. He had no problem with letting Mom give me blowjobs, even when he knew we'd already had sex at least once. He sure as hell seemed to enjoy the attention that Penny had given him. I knew for a fact that he wouldn't mind enjoying some intimate time with Aunt Marie.

Things were messed up, but at least it was all out in the open now. No more hiding. Even the business with Aunt Marie and Mom I felt was better now. At least they'd talked long and hard about their issues. I may have manipulated Mom, but that was out there as well.

I knew I should have felt better getting all that secret shit off my chest, but I didn't. I felt like crap. I'd always hated disappointing my father, no more so than I did now. On top of that, Mom was off-limits. Even Aunt Marie. I wasn't sure if I was going to let that last one stand. If Dad took Mom away for good, there was nothing holding me back from being with Aunt Marie. I wasn't going to rush that, but the idea percolated in the back of my mind.